Christina Aguilera gave a riveting interview to a pant-less Chelsea Handler on her show last night, in which she revealed that she is no longer burdened by the yoke of underpants. The Daily Mail says:

‘I don’t like to wear underwear,’ Christina told Chelsea Handler. ‘I like to be as free as possible at all times. It’s just who I am.’

And she added: ‘It’s empowering. It’s pussy power!’

Well, a lack of underwear would certainly explain what happened at Etta James’ funeral. Gross. That’s really one of those mysteries I’d prefer to have left unsolved, like the Easter Island heads or why someone would take a dump in a KFC box and leave it in my locker sophomore year. Some questions just weren’t meant to be answered.

People, you got it all wrong. Jennifer Aniston doesn’t hate Angelina Jolie! She moved on from that years ago! She’s totally happy and those pictures of her plastered all over her wall with devil horns and beards drawn in with Sharpies are just for shits and giggles! Digital Spy says,

According to Life & Style, the former Friends actress was asked by blogger Perez Hilton to discuss her true feelings about Jolie, who was allegedly behind her split with ex-husband Brad Pitt.

Hilton told the publication that Aniston was adamant about having moved on from the incident and holds no ill will towards Jolie or Pitt.

“Jen said, ‘Look, that was so long ago, and we’ve moved on and we’re all adults’,” Hilton explained.

“I believe what she has to say. I think she really has moved on.”

He also revealed that Aniston still has an active romantic life, adding: “She told me that she dates a lot. [She] just makes sure not to go anywhere public.”

Hilton claims that Aniston made the comments when the pair had a chance encounter in a parking garage.

Never mind that after spending a Thanksgiving weekend holed up with BFF Jennifer, Chelsea Handler just happened to want to call Angelina a home-wrecking cunt on her show. I’m positive that Jen had nothing to do with it. Nope. She’s totally moved on.

At the NY premiere of Just Go With It with Adam Sandler:

Angelina Jolie and her baby daddy Brad Pitt were all kissy-kissy goo-goo at the red carpet premiere of her new movie “The Tourist” in New York last night, but behind their lovesick simpers and besotted pie-eyes, was something secretly amiss? Fame Pictures says:

Angelina avoided all of the media outlets on her way in, only stopping for the photographers, [presumably] to avoid questions about Chelsea Handlers’ recent remarks about her.

Oh, yes. I almost forgot. Some leathery old bat with a stand-up act called her a cunt yesterday. I just hope being hailed as the most beautiful woman in the world and making love to the two-time winner of People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive offered Angelina the tiniest bit of solace as she walked down the red carpet at her blockbuster movie premiere. We can’t all have late-night cable shows and cirrhosis and bitter spinster friends. Some people are just born lucky, I guess!

With Brad on the red carpet (more pics after the jump):

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Jennifer Aniston has found a new BFF in “Chelsea Lately” host Chelsea Handler (they spent Thanksgiving together in Cabo), which might explain the dog-cussing Chelsea gave Angelina Jolie during her standup show in Jersey this weekend. The Daily Mail says:

The comedian launched a foul-mouthed tirade against Brad Pitt’s partner during a stand-up show.

‘She’s a homewrecker, she is,’ the 35-year-old said.

‘She can rescue as many babies from as many countries as she wants to,’ she said of the actress, who has three adopted children. ‘You’re a fucking bitch!’

‘She gives interviews, “I don’t have a lot of female friends.” You don’t have a lot of female friends because you’re a fucking cunt.”

Or just maybe Angelina doesn’t have a lot of female friends because most females are catty and vindictive and need constant emotional coddling and attention. Or maybe it’s because most females are inherently threatened by anyone they perceive to be more attractive than they are and secretly try to sabotage them at every turn. It’s the same reason you wouldn’t befriend Benito Mussolini or the Taliban.

Jennifer in NYC for her new movie with Paul Rudd:

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

A sex tape Chelsea Handler made nearly twenty years ago “as a joke” has resurfaced like a rogue turd that didn’t make it down on the first flush. Unfortunately, there’s no Chuy involved in the video. Radar Online says

[We have] viewed the graphic tape, which was made nearly a decade ago after Chelsea moved to Los Angeles. During the first part of the tape, Chelsea is fully clothed. She begins by introducing herself by name before going into a stand-up routine before suddenly cutting to Chelsea and her male partner engaging in an explicit sex act.

Chelsea, who is on all fours on a bed is naked and looks directly at the camera. Her breasts are bare and swinging during the sex act. At the end of the “performance”, Chelsea’s partner speaks in a clear British accent, asking, “Did we get the [cum] shot?” Chelsea looks into the camera and smiles at this point. Then the tape immediately cuts back into Chelsea continuing her stand-up routine in her apartment.

So what part of that was the “joke,” exactly? Well…

“This is an old demo tape that Chelsea had put together just a couple years after moving out to Hollywood when she was trying to make it as a comedienne,” the source said.

“Chelsea gave this demo tape to a bunch of talent agents and managers hoping to book some gigs. It was taken so long ago and distributed on old VHS tapes, that I’m sure most people just threw them out because her stand-up was so bad and they didn’t realize she would make it big one day. It’s highly possible that many of the recipients of the tape didn’t even watch past the first couple of minutes and missed the sex tape part altogether.”

Ah. It was a work joke. I see. But when I send a sex tape to the boys in HR, it’s “cause for termination.” You gotta love how things work on the West Coast. Anyway, Chelsea herself confirmed the existence of the tape on her show “Chelsea Lately”last night, saying:

“I would like to say to, thanks for ruining my surprise Christmas gift to my staff, and number two, it was made as a joke. I put it on an audition tape for a comedy club, because I’m a comedienne, and I’ve been showing it at birthday parties for [fucking] years!”

Which I imagine is why she never gets invited to her nieces’ birthdays anymore. The management at Chuck E. Cheese always freaks out when they see vaginal penetration.

With Chuy at some gay thing last year here; watch her Chelsea Lately response from last night after the jump:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

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