Over a year and a half after it happened, Rihanna is finally opening up about the beating Chris Brown gave her in next month’s issue of Glamour magazine. She says in the interview (via Reuters):

On the ordeal with ex-boyfriend Chris Brown: “I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears. That was the level of media chaos that happened the
next day.”

On her message to young women: “My story was broadcast all over the world for
people to see, and they have followed every step of my recovery. The positive thing that has come out of my situation is that people can learn from that. I want to give as much insight as I can to young women, because I feel like I represent a voice that really isn’t heard. Now I can help speak for those women.”

On how she made it back: “My friends and family have been extremely supportive, and everyone has been there for me. But at some point you are there alone. It’s a lonely place to be — no one can understand. That’s when you get close to God.”

Another time you get close to God? When you wake up bleeding from the anus in a drainage ditch off I-40 without any pants or memory of the last three days and there’s two men in overalls with shovels standing over you. Let me tell you, Jesus and I were never closer.

Around midnight Monday night, Chris Brown took to his Twitter and posted a video montage of himself and Rihanna during happier times set to R.Kelly’s “The Way We Used To Be.” Coincidentally, his new video “I Can Transform Ya” just happens to debut on MTV today (which you can read all about in the subsequent posts). What well-planned nostalgic timing! MSNBC says

“I’m sorry y’all. Just had to post it,” was the accompanying text on the Tweet, and the post immediately following said, “For the fellas: showing emotion doesn’t make u weak … being honest makes you strong.”

I guess The Prodigy’s “Smack My Bitch Up” and Snoop Dog’s “Can You Control Yo Hoe” were just a little too uptempo for the vibe he was going for here.

Rihanna heading to a photo shoot in the Meatpacking District last week:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin

In response to the snippet of the Larry King interview that aired yesterday in which he claimed not to remember hitting Rihanna, Chris Brown is now on the offensive (pun intended!) and claiming CNN purposefully edited his responses to make him look bad. He said in a personal statement

“There have been reports on the Internet that I didn’t remember what happened that night with Rihanna. I want to try and set things straight.

That 30 seconds of the interview they used of me was taken from a one hour interview during which that same question was asked something like 4 or 5 times.

The first four times I gave the same answer — which was that I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to talk about what happened that night. The fifth time – or whatever it was – I just misspoke. I was asked, “Do you remember doing it?” and I said, “No.”

Of course I remember what happened. But it was and still is a blur. I still can’t believe it happened because it is not me or who I am.”

I don’t know why CNN would give the impression that he didn’t remember the hitting her. Except, you know, that he said that. I also don’t know why they would imply that he was wearing a faggoty-ass sweater and bow tie that made him look like Carlton fucking Banks. Except, you know, that’s what he was wearing. All I know is that CNN better start getting their facts straight before they go skewing a story to make a guy look bad. Chris Brown ain’t exactly afraid to hit a bitch, you know.

Chris Brown has finally apologized for beating the hell out of ex-girlfriend Rihanna half a year ago. Like they say, timing is for pussies! He says in the video

“Hi, I’m Chris Brown. Since February my attorney has advised me not to speak out, even though since the incident I wanted to publicly express my deepest regret and accept full responsibility.

Although I would do some interviews and answer some questions in the future, I felt it was time you heard directly from me that I am sorry. I have tried to live my life in a way that would make those around me proud of me, and until recently, I think I was doing a pretty good job. I wish I had the chance to live those few moments again, but unfortunately I can’t.

I cannot go into what happened, and most importantly, I’m not going to sit here and make any excuses. I take great pride in me being able to exercise self-control and what I did was inexcusable. I am very sad and very ashamed of what I’ve done.

My mother and my spiritual teachers have taught me way better than that. I have told Rihanna countless times, and I’m telling you today that I am truly, truly sorry, and I wasn’t able to handle the situation both differently and better. I recognize that I’ve truly been blessed. I’ve been blessed with a wonderful family, wonderful friends and fans. God has been generous in giving me the ability which has brought me fame and fortune.

I have done a lot of soul-searching, and over the past several months I’ve talked with my minister and my mother, and I spent a lot of time trying to understand what happened and why. I have let a lot of people down, and I realize that.

No one is more disappointed than in me than I am. As many of you know, I grew up in a home where there was domestic violence and I saw firsthand what uncontrolled rage could do. I have sought and am continuing to seek help to ensure that what occurred in February can never happen again.

As I sit here today I can tell you that I will do everything in my power to make sure that it never happens again, and I promise that. What I did was unacceptable, 100 percent. I can only ask and pray that you forgive me, please. I hope that others learn from my mistakes. I intend to live my life so that I am truly worthy of the term ‘role model.’ Thank you.”

Unfortunately, Chris never once apologizes for being dressed like a gay chef. I think we can all agree that’s just inexcusable.

It’s long been rumored that there was a Rihanna/Chris Brown sex tape out there somewhere, and now X-rated video clip starring a woman who looks a lot like Rihanna has found its way online. According to Nine MSN

This newly released footage… runs for only 13 seconds and shows Rihanna writhing around with Chris Brown. The clip was posted along with a note saying that more footage would be released on June 22 — the date of Chris Brown’s court hearing for assault.

Debate is raging online as to whether or not the clip is the real deal, with many porno aficionados arguing that the star of the film is actually Lavish Styles — a porn actress who bears a striking resemblance to Rihanna.

“Porn aficionados?” What the fuck is that? And to think, my husband got all pissed when I put “masturbatory enthusiast” and “knob-polishing bon vivant” on his business cards. I’m sorry if “jerk-off king” just struck me as a little too blasé for public consumption.

The NSFW video preview after the jump

(more…)

More naked full-frontal pictures of an African-American female singer hit the interwebs today, but surprise, surprise — this time it’s not Cassie. Try “Rihanna” on for size instead. It’s definitely her, completely, gratuitously naked. Who ever could be responsible for this leak? Certainly not Chris Brown, because included in the bunch is a photo of him with panties on his head. Equally compromising in every sense of the word, right? No way he would violate his own privacy like that. It’s an airtight alibi! Oh, and speaking of airtighting…

Thumbnail links NSFW:

Rihanna has finally seen the error of her ways and kicked Chris Brown to the curb — not because he beat the living shit out of her and threatened to kill her, mind you, but because he won’t dump his 39-year-old manager Tina Davis. A source told Access Hollywood

“Rihanna’s unhappy, and she has been for some time unhappy with the relationship that Chris Brown has with Tina Davis. It’s not exactly clear whether or not it is a sexual relationship, but Rihanna has come out and given Chris Brown the ultimatum.”

There have been rumors swirling for years that Brown and Davis have had a relationship that went beyond their business ties. Apparently [Brown] refused to part ways with his manager — who acted as his mentor, and maybe more, since his early teens — so he sided with Davis over his Covergirl girlfriend.

Funny, I just read something about this guy who liked bangin’ some old broad over a hot young piece of ass. Oedipus, I think his name was. I’m pretty sure it had a happy ending.

Leaving ‘Da Silvano’ restaurant in Manhattan:

Here’s something new to make this whole Chris Brown/Rihanna thing descend even deeper into retard territory: Just days after Chris Brown was charged in beating Rihanna, they met together to record a new track. Digital Spy gives the details:

A representative for producer Polow Da Don, who wished to remain anonymous, told CNN that the track was completed earlier this week but declined to give any further details.

In a statement, Da Don refused to comment on the speculation, saying only: “My heart goes out to both Chris and Rihanna for what has happened in the past. They are both great artists to work with and I wish them well.”

However, another insider has told Us Weekly that the untitled duet “is about being stronger and growing stronger in a relationship”.

They added: “The song was originally created for Rihanna…It wasn’t initially slated for Chris to be on the song.”

Any one want to take a crack at what the title of the song is? Well, here are my guesses:

1. Don’t it Make My Brown Eyes Black
2. Reunited and It Hurts Like a Bitch
3. I Swear I Won’t Beat You Again, At Least Not Until You Piss Me Off
4. You Asked For It
5. Beat It
6. Collagen Injections Are Expensive, A Fist is Free
7. Bitch, You Dripped Blood On My Ride
8. It’s Okay, Somehow It Was My Fault
9. I Love You To Death

Back in January, trying her best to hide a cold sore:

Despite an online petition with more than 2,166 signatures demanding his removal from the Kids Choice Awards’ “Favorite Male Singer and Favorite Song” category, Nickeloedeon had refused to remove Chris Brown’s name — until he voluntarily withdrew his own name yesterday. His rep said in a statement:

“Chris very much appreciates the support of his fans and the honor they have paid him in the way of nominations… Unfortunately, the controversy surrounding the incident last month has shifted the focus from the music to whether he should be allowed to be among those nominated.

While Chris would like to speak to his fans directly about this and other issues, pending legal proceedings preclude his doing so at this time. Once the matter before him has been resolved, he intends to do so.”

In response to the public outcry against Nickelodeon, their rep released the following statement:

“Like all our KCA nominees, Chris Brown was nominated by kids several months ago based on his work as a performer, and the kids who vote will ultimately decide who wins in the category.”

So Nickolodeon now stands behind teen pregnancy and domestic abuse? Well, good for them! This oughta open the door for a whole lot of new sponsors, including Skoal smokeless tobacco and Freedom Home brand double-wide trailers. There’s big money in that there Nascar demographic!

I’ve never watched Orca Oprah before. She’s always spouting her opinion and there’s all her little sycophantic followers who do whatever she says, reads whatever she tells them to read, and act like every word that comes from her mouth is gospel truth. But for once I have to agree with her. Friday she had a message for Rihanna–Run, bitch! The Daily News says,

Oprah Winfrey has a message for pop princess Rihanna, who prosecutors say was beaten to a pulp last month by boyfriend Chris Brown: “He will hit you again.”
Former Manhattan sex-crimes prosecutor Linda Fairstein’s warning is starker: He also could kill you.

Fairstein compared the fist-happy crooner to O.J. Simpson, who repeatedly beat his wife without consequence before she was slain in 1994.

“Love doesn’t hurt,” Winfrey said on her show Friday, while announcing she will dedicate a program this week to discussing domestic violence.

“I want to do a show about it, dedicated to all the Rihannas of the world.”

Speaking directly into the camera, Winfrey said, “If a man hits you once, he will hit you again. He will hit you again.”

“Many of the circumstances in her case were like the early warning signs in the O.J. Simpson case,” Fairstein said.

She pointed to several “red flags” that suggest Rihanna could be in the same danger as Nicole Brown Simpson was 15 years ago, getting hit repeatedly but not pressing charges and then reconciling with the former running back.

The allegation that Chris Brown choked Rihanna while saying “Now I’m really going to kill you” is a particularly bad sign, Fairstein said.

“Choking behavior is a very interesting factor. It’s hands on, face-to-face. It’s a very intimate type of violence,” she said.

Love doesn’t hurt? I guess Oprah’s never had the Jumbo Inflatable Dildo shoved up her hoo-ha. That sucker will have you walking like a cowboy for a week. Love hurts, but sometime’s it’s a good hurt, and it feels like I’m alive.

Since reconciling with Chris Brown in the days after her beating, Rihanna has in effect “gone missing.” She has not made contact with family or friends in the last two weeks, and her parents are growing increasingly worried and desperate to get in touch with her. Rihanna’s father told Us Weekly

I can’t get to her. Her mother can’t get on to her, her brother told me she changed her email. Somebody has a stranglehold on her. I’ll text the old numbers she had, and I call them. One girl answered, and she said, “This is not Robyn’s number anymore.” I asked, “Do you work for Robyn? Do you deal with Robyn?” And the girl hung up, so I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I’m lost.

[In her last text to me] she said, “Daddy, I miss you.” And that’s it. And I could not reply. I saw a number and texted back, “I miss you too.” And I didn’t get another reply from her.

This sounds an awful lot like when Katie Holmes inexplicably went missing in the weeks before she married Tom Cruise. Maybe Chris Brown isn’t just a woman-beater, but also a closet Scientologist. A Misogynist Scientologist, if you will. Statistics indicate that even “Pedophile Kitten-Rapists” and “Birthing Porn Necrophiliacs” are viewed as less repugnant.

Happier times performing in Milan before the beating:

Chris Brown chose not to enter a plea yesterday to the two felony charges stemming from his vicious beating of singer Rihanna late last month. TMZ reports

The judge granted Brown’s request to move the arraignment to April 6th. It is unclear why [he] wanted to postpone the case — possibly to conduct further investigations or possibly to strike a plea deal.

Based on our information, it seems Brown wants to avoid a trial at all costs because the picture of Rihanna taken one day after the incident — which has not been seen anywhere publicly — is unbelievable.

Every time you think this story can’t get any worse, new details in the case emerge. TMZ gave a brief synopsis of the investigating detective’s notes yesterday, but after having read the actual police report myself, I’m afraid they didn’t do it justice. Directly from the detective’s notes (picking up after Brown attempted to push her out of the car and punched her in the mouth):

Brown resumed punching Robyn F and she interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face. She then bent over at the waist placing her elbows and face near her lap and in attempt to protect her face and head from the barrage of punches being levied by Brown. Brown continued to punch Robyn F on her left arm and hands, causing her to suffer a contusion on her left triceps that was approx 2 inches in diameter and numerous contusions on her left hand. Robyn F attempted to send another text message to other personal assistant Melissa Ford. Brown snatched the cellular telephone out of her hand and threw it out of the window to an unknown street. Brown continued driving and Robyn F observed his cellular phone in his lap. She picked up the cellular phone with her left hand, and before she could make a call, he placed her in a head lock with right hand and continued to drive the vehicle with his left hand.

Brown held Robyn F close to him and bit her on her left hear. She was able to feel the vehicle swerving from right to left as Brown sped away. He stopped the vehicle in front of [address] and Robyn F turned off the car removed the key from ignition and sat on it. Brown did not know what she did with the key and began punching her in the face and arms. Brown began applying pressure to Robyn F left and right carotid arteries causing her to be unable to breath. She began to lose consciousness. She reached up with her left hand and began to attempting to gauge his eyes in attempt to flee herself. Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and released her. While brown continued to punch her she turned around a place her back to against the passenger door. She brought her knees to her chest and placed her feet against Brown’s body and began pushing him away.

Brown continued to punch her on legs and feet causing several contusions. Robyn F began screaming for help. And Brown exited the vehicle and walked away. A resident in the neighbor heard Robyn F’s plea for help and called 911, causing a police response.

God help him if that picture does leak. See pictures of her blood spattered inside Chris’ car here.