I still can’t figure out who Christina Milian is, and as a matter of fact I’ve become pretty convinced that she and Vanessa Minnillo are actually the same person.  Have you ever seen the two of them together?  EXACTLY, my friends.  Case closed.

Christina and/or Vanessa in the July ‘09 issue of Maxim:

I don’t read King magazine, mostly because I have more than a sixth grade education and I don’t drink anything with the words “malt liquor” in the name, but that isn’t going to stop me from putting up these pictures of Christina Milian from this month’s issue. See, I don’t discriminate against boobs. It’s kinda a mantra I have. Some people call might call me a hero, but I like to think of myself more as a regular jane just doing what she can to better society. An actitvist, if you will. No need to thank me, unless it’s in unmarked twenties or powder form. I don’t discriminate there, either.

I seriously have no idea who Christina Milian even is.  The name is familiar so I know I’m probably supposed to know who she is, but I always get her confused with Vanessa Minnillo.  I don’t know if they look even vaguely alike because I bet I couldn’t identify either of them in a line-up if my life depended on it.  I think they both have brown hair, and one or the other of them is sleeping with Nick Lachey.  Or used to be.  Or something.  Full disclosure: I also mix them up interchangeably with Maria Menounos and Vanessa Marcil, because they are all chicks with brown hair who are famous for reasons I don’t understand.

Anyway, the point is, this girl here is one of those ladies.  The photo agency tags tell me it’s Christina Milian, but that could be a complete lie and I would be none the wiser.  Whoever she is, she was at some Grammy party in a short, low cut, tight-ass dress.  Her hair is involved in shenanigans of which I strongly disapprove, and it’s totally creeping me out how her makeup matches her dress exactly because it makes her look even more like a blow-up doll…  Whatever.  I know none of you give a shit what’s going on above the neck in these pictures.  Carry on, my wayward sons.

What would you get if you had Rihanna, took away all the sex appeal and talent, and basted it in mediocrity and let it simmer in forgettable-ness? Answer: a bland and boring Christina Milian casserole. At least she had the good sense to wear a bikini in these pics. A little mustard seed and paprika probably wouldn’t hurt her, either.

More Milian in Miami (alliteration!):

Here’s Christina Milian at the L.A. premiere of her new movie “Pulse.” Is it me or she looks way hotter in a pink dress than, let’s say, Britney? Whatever. Today we have not one hottie, but two hotties in the same post.

Meet Kristen Bell after the jump.

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Some gossip whores sent me emails telling that they were worried about today’s date being 06-06-2006. I know there’s a devilishly odd nexus of theology, mathematics and commercialism on the sixth day of the sixth month of the sixth year so here are some pictures of Christina Milian which will relieve the stress. From now on, 666 will mean boobs, boobs and more boobs. How cool is that?

More pics after the jump.

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“Bootylicious” may be a word created by Beyonce Knowles to describe her butt but it’s a picture of Christina Milian I would put in the dictionary to illustrate the word.

More pics after the jump.

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I’m not sure the outfit she’s wearing is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, but at least Christina Milian tried to look like a pirate. And I appreciate that. She can step into my pirate ship anytime. Arrr!