Dozens of female celebrities and actresses — from the Olsen Twins to supermodel Cindy Crawford — get almost-naked in photographer Timothy White’s new book “Hollywood Pinups” ($39.95, Collins Design). Actress Angie Harmon, seen above, gets the most naked of all, but not just because naked hot chicks are awesome. The collection of naughty photos is actually a charitable endeavor — 100% of the proceeds go to fight global poverty. And, it seems, to aid those without an impetus to masturbate. Statistics indicate it’s the biggest problem currently facing males age 14-73 in our nation today! Won’t you do your part and get naked, too? I say it’s time to stop being part of the problem and start becoming part of the solution, ladies!

Supermodel Cindy Crawford showed up to Kate Hudson’s Halloween party this past weekend dressed as singer Amy Winehouse, complete with sailor tattoos and trademark beehive and eyeliner. It’s a kick-ass costume, but she left out a few key Amy Winehouse elements that would have really authenticated the look. Namely, an icepick to the face and a good half-hour gargle and rinse with yellow food coloring. To get that authentic Winehouse smell, just mix two parts overflowing ashtray and one part gin with two tablespoons of urine and blend until creamy, then divide contents between groin and armpits. Voilà! Amy Winehouse. Of course, if you don’t have that kind of time, you could just kill a hobo a few days prior to the party and stuff him under your beehive. All the smell without any of the work! Talk about your time-saver!

The real Amy being taken to The London Clinic on Saturday:

The real Cindy in French Vogue:

George Clooney’s yacht stands an impressive 175 feet long, regularly makes stops along the French Riviera, and comes equipped with supermodel Cindy Crawford lounging around topless. My ‘84 Chevy Caprice, on the other hand, has an analog tape deck, a gear shift held together with duct tape, and a distinctive odor from the “red beans and rice” incident my freshman year. But I didn’t pay $120 million dollars for it, so in your fucking face, George Clooney!