Kevin Federline isn’t just looking after the kiddies while Britney tours — he’s also working that Federline magic on ol’ Brit-Brit again. According to Star Magazine
The family friend reveals there’s been “some kissing. It started when they agreed that Kevin would take the boys on tour. They’ve shared a lot of flirty moments. The truth is, they’re falling in love again.
Kevin has actually been gushing to his mom that being with Britney now reminds him of when they first fell in love in 2004.
Funny, I was just going to say he reminds me of Britney a few years back, too. But not Britney in 2004. More like Britney about a year ago. I bet you can actually hear the cholesterol accumulating in his arteries over the din of his constant chewing.
The official music video for Britney Spears’ controversial song “If You Seek Amy” debuted on BritneySpears.com today. It starts off with Britney in a post-orgy room surrounded by ambiguous types in various states of undress. You’ll note the donkey and the submissives in the sex swing are conspicuously absent in the video. To see them in action, you’ll have to actually buy tickets to one of her Circus Tour concerts. I guess a donkey can only take so much direction when it comes to sodomizing on cue for multiple takes.
Salud, mes petits choux! It’s Sarah today. Abby LoJacked Robert Downey, Jr.’s car last night so she’s a bit preoccupied at the moment, but don’t fret, pets! She’ll be back tomorrow, assuming there’s not enough evidence to make an arrest.
In other news, Britney launched her tour, The Circus: Starring Britney Spears, last night in New Orleans. Word on the street is that it was relatively decent. No one cares about her generic, manufactured-to-hell-and-back music and she’s boring as fuck now that she’s not allowed to roam around and fly her freak flag; keeping that in mind, she (or rather, the massive team in charge of her every move these days) wisely created a gigantic spectacle of visual insanity to hold the crowd’s interest for at least 35 whole seconds. God, I miss Crazy Britney. Especially the Random Accent Period. That was awesome. I mean, it was sad ‘n shit, because mental illness is bad news bears, blah blah tragedy stew in a sadness bowl… but it was still awesome.
It’s a big day for Britney Spears — she kicks off her comeback tour tonight in New Orleans and begins her campaign as the new face of a Candie’s clothing line being sold exclusively at Kohl’s department stores. Star Magazine quotes her as saying
“I’m so excited to be the face for Candie’s Only at Kohl’s. Candie’s and Kohl’s are doing such great things with my tour. It’s great to work with a line that has such cool clothes and accessories!”
Of course, the union is bound to head south once Britney realizes she gets free clothes from the company and not hard sugared confections. I give it six weeks before she sues Candies for “false and misleading representation on account of their name bein’ so dang confusin’.”
Video sneak peek/Candies commercial of her rehearsing for her Circus tour:
Britney Spears’ much-hyped Circus tour might not ever get its feet off the ground if Britney can’t manage to get a handle on her recent panic attacks. A source close to the singer told The Sun
“Britney is in danger of not going on tour as she has been having paralyzing panic attacks. Britney screams and cries and locks herself in her room. She has been telling her doctor she feels under pressure and ill when she thinks about touring. She… fears that her performance will be branded a flop.”
You know, I used to suffer from panic attacks, too. But then I stopped drinking an entire bottle of Robitussin before going to Mass with my folks. It really did wonders for the ol’ psyche.
The video for the title track from Britney’s new album “Circus” hit the internet today, full of lions and tigers and barely-dressed dancers oh, my! Unfortunately for Britney, it turns out that Chester the Cheetah and Sugar Bear aren’t real, so live animals had to be used in their stead. Frantic sobbing calls to Frito-Lay and Post Cereals were not immediately returned.
And now, for some Kate Winslet at the premiere of “The Reader” because goddamn:
Britney Spears will be going on tour in 2009, marking the first time she has gone global since injuring her knee during her Onyx Hotel Tour back in 2004. And if those performances on X Factor and at the Bambi Awards are any indication, it’s going to be half-hearted mime-off unworthy of your $145. You could save your paycheck and just put a blonde wig and fishnets on one of the animatronic mice at Chuck E Cheese’s and get an equally convincing live performance. Plus you get a free soda and a balloon if you tell them it’s your birthday, and experience has taught me that you’re sure to be the biggest one in the ball pit. Score, baby!
UPDATE: Britney performing “Circus” on Good Morning America (above). Official tour dates and her GMA “Womanizer” performance after the jump.
