Mischa Barton was supposed to receive $30,000 to host the grand opening of the CatHouse Loungerie in Vegas, but the plans fell through when she was arrested for DUI last week. But rather than being pissed about the canceled appearance, the club owners were actually happy that Meesh was a no-show. Page Six says

The 21-year-old actress’ handlers were “difficult . . . They wanted a bigger jet [sent]. Mischa wanted to bring her dogs.” Another spy said that Barton… didn’t like the scantily clad model on the invite: “[Her reps] wanted the invitation redone because they thought it was too risque for her image.” Barton even had the nerve to have Paris and Nicky Hilton banned from the bash. “They were blacklisted. Mischa’s team didn’t want her to be associated with the party-girl scene,” a source said.

Irony, is that you? Avoiding Paris Hilton is good and all, but I’m pretty sure nothing says “party-girl scene” like getting a DUI. Her handlers maybe should mention that to her next time. Well, at least her arrest wasn’t a total disaster — it seems to have rekindled the interest of former flame Cisco “Swing Low Sweet Chariot” Adler. Page Six adds

Mischa’s ex still has a thing for her. [Cisco] told the likes of Danny Masterson at the Friday opening of nightclub Home in St. Louis that he felt for [Mischa] after she was arrested for DUI the day before in Hollywood. “He went around telling everyone that she looked so hot in her mug shot,” said a spy.

If he thinks her mugshot’s hot, then he should check out “Faces of Meth” and “STD’s and You (NSFW).” There’s enough spank material there to last for weeks. And don’t forget about the bus station! I’m sure the Hoeboken Greyhound depot is chock-full of lovelies with sexy mugshots.

Mischa in the January issue of Arena magazine:

I tried to gloss over the whole “Paris Exposed” bit. Herpes prescriptions, abortion records, pictures of some guy with blow all over his chest — all of it. Really, I did. But then I found this picture of the most disturbing ballsac I have ever seen in my life — and believe you me, I’ve seen plenty of ballsacs in my day. So, anyway, I was forced to delve into the seedy, coked-up, titty-grabbing douchebag-fucking monstrosity that was Paris Hilton’s storage locker, if only for this one golden nugget(s): Mischa Barton’s loser boyfriend, Cisco Adler, showcasing his testicles on camera. Sometimes there just aren’t enough words. I tried something with “stretched-out old gym sock” and “plums,” but nothing really seemed to do it justice. You’ll have to get a good look at it yourself.