How many pints of Romulan Ale would you have to drink before you had sex with the Vulcan dominatrix version of Eva Longoria? Not during the time of pon farr, obviously. That’s just being facetious. I guess it’s kind of a Catch-22, because if you actually understood anything I just wrote, you’re never going to have sex, anyway. No sense in wasting everybody’s time with your virgin speculations!

And now for the complete opposite of the last post, a 40-year old woman with the body of a 23-year old. I suppose if Lindsay keeps aging backwards, she’ll get there eventually. Like around the time she’s 60. In the meantime, enjoy supermodel Helena Christensen totally nude on the cover of Citizen K magazine today. Like famed Elizabethan poet Robert Herrick once wrote, “To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time!” I just assumed he was speaking directly to you there. Zing!

In Purple magazine (all NSFW):