Ever heard that old joke that goes, “What’s better than a supermodel in a swimsuit?” Well, just so you know, the answer is supposed to be “SIX supermodels in a swimsuit.” If you answer “A pocket full of roofies and a hand-held video camera,” everyone stars staring at you all weird and covering their drinks.

From V Magazine’s first ever swimsuit issue starring Kate Moss, Gisele Bundchen, Claudia Schiffer, Naomi Campbell, Eva Herzigova, and Daria Werbowy:

David Copperfield had his hard drive and digital cameras yanked by the FBI last week because he’s a sicko pervert who doesn’t know how to approach women. According to TMZ

Copperfield designed part of his show around “a system for picking up women.” During his show, David goes into the audience and chooses women to come on stage. [If] David likes a girl, he’ll use code words with assistants like “mama” and “secrecy.” The assistants mark the women on a map of the inside of the Hollywood Theater at MGM Grand. After the show, the women are brought backstage. The women are told that David may use them in his show when he comes to their hometown. They are then photographed with a digital camera, asked questions like, “What is your favorite men’s cologne?” and “Where do you like to vacation?” We’re told one of those vacation spots mentioned by staff is the Bahamas, where the accuser claims she was assaulted. Copperfield owns a cluster of islands in the Bahamas — which he bought for $50 million.

This jerkoff is wasting an insane amount of time and effort. First of all, he’s rich, and being rich is the single easiest way into a woman’s pants. Not because of the fancy cars or the big houses. It’s because Rohypnol and GHB cost money. So does rope, duct tape, knitting needles, disposable razors, fire ant farms, eighteenth century iron restraints, and enemas. Doesn’t seem like much, but believe you me, it all adds up in the end!

Ex-fiancee Claudia Schiffer at the Swarovski Fashion Rocks concert last week: