It’s like my mom always said — subtlety is for pussies. That’s why you should always remove your g-string using only the heel of your lucite platforms and take lots of bird’s-eye pictures of your own tits and post them on the internet. Coco: because waving a red flag in front of your vagina is just a little too cerebral!

Coco is a great visual reminder that you can’t spell “classy” without the word “ass.” You also can’t spell “assertoric” without the word “ass,” but I don’t really see how Aristotlean logic ties in with anything here. Let’s try and keep it relevant, people.

One more of her other S&M outfit and a week’s worth of Twitter pics:

You’d never know it to look at her, but this demure little lady,  Nicole “CoCo” Austin is of Albanian descent. I was pretty sure she was descended from a plastic mold at a sex toy manufacturer, coupled together with silicone implants. I’ve never seen anyone that had actual fenders on their hips.

The always-delightful Coco Austin put up the above pictures of the stunning ensemble she wore to an “event” in Maryland over the past weekend. I don’t know what kind of event it was per se, but I’m guessing something really regal and dignified, like high tea with a real-life archduke and duchess. Or maybe a Big-Bootied Bitches Butt-Banging Bounce-Off. Coco: because you can’t spell “classy” without “ass!”

In Smooth Magazine: