Proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Jersey Shore cast is un-exterminable, Snooki and Vinny managed to dodge an Act of God a party in New York over the weekend. Way to drop the ball, Jesus! According to MSNBC

Snooki and fellow “Jersey Shore” star Vinny Guadagnino were among 300 guests at a Purim celebration at the Sony building in New York City. At about 11:10 p.m., snow that collected on the roof, which was partially windowed, caused the glass to collapse.

Snooki [tweeted]: “OMG roof just collapsed at the purim event! We thought the dj was beatin the beat hardcore but nope, the roof couldn’t handle snooki and vin.”

Guadagnino [tweeted]: “Roof just collapsed at Purim event…. I think me and @snooki felt the wrath for not being Jewish.”

No one was seriously injured.

Okay, so you might not be able to kill them outright, but you could always get rid of them for the time being by flipping on the kitchen light. They’ll scurry right back under the fridge with the rest of their little buddies. I don’t know if they make roach traps out of cigarettes and baby oil, but there’s always a chance that could work, too. And don’t forget about fire. Personal experience and three ex-husbands have taught me there’s practically nothing a good gasoline fire can’t cure. We really just need to explore all our options here.

Snooki with her “boyfriend” last week:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Hey guys, guess what? Young actresses in Hollywood don’t normally just up and have a heart attack unless they’ve been chugging down a drug Slurpee. Yeah, shocking, right? I didn’t want to start speculating right away about what might have caused Brittany Murphy’s untimely death, but the Los Angeles Coroner’s office has released some notes about a large number of prescription medications in her room. Says Us Weekly,

According to the notes (obtained by TMZ.com), the medications included Topamax (anti-seizure meds also to prevent migraines), Methylprednisolone (anti-inflammatory), Fluoxetine (depression med), Klonopin (anxiety med), Carbamazepine (treats Diabetic symptoms and is also a bipolar med), Ativan (anxiety med), Vicoprofen (pain reliever), Propranolol (hypertension, used to prevent heart attacks), Biaxin (antibiotic), Hydrocodone (pain med) and miscellaneous vitamins.

The notes state Murphy “had been complaining of shortness of breath and severe abdominal pain” for 7 to 10 days prior to her death.

Around 7:30 a.m. Sunday, she went into the bathroom of her Hollywood Hills home and shut the door, according to the notes.

A half hour later Murphy’s mother, Sharon, went to check on her daughter, opened the bathroom door and “discovered the decedent lying on the floor unresponsive,” the notes read.

According to the notes, Sharon yelled for help. Murphy’s husband, British screenwriter Simon Monjack, who was in bed, ran to the bathroom.

The notes reveal that Sharon called 911 and Monjack “attempted to revive the decedent by placing her in the shower and running the water.” But Murphy “remained unresponsive and purged her stomach contents prior to the arrival of the paramedics,” according to the notes.

When the paramedics arrived, Murphy was “without signs of life.” Paramedics then moved her from the bathroom to the master bedroom, where they found the prescription drugs.

“A check of the nightstands revealed large amounts of prescription medication in the decedent’s name. Also noted were numerous empty prescription medication bottles in the decedent’s husband’s name, the decedent’s mother’s name and unidentified third party names,” the notes read.

According to the notes, “No alcohol containers, paraphernalia or illegal drugs were discovered.”

The notes state that the night before her death Murphy “had consumed some noodles, leftover Thai food, Gatorade, water and tea with lemon.”

So there you have it. I don’t care if they haven’t released an official cause of death, I think the fact that she had a bunch of prescription meds, some not even her own, is pretty damn telling. It’s like when I eat a whole tub of BonBons. You might not have seen me stuff them down my face, but the brown shit smeared all over my face is the big tip-off. Plus the fact that I weigh 300 pounds.

Actress Kristin Chenoweth collapsed Sunday night at the Emmy Awards shortly after winning Outstanding Supporting Actress for her role in “Pushing Daisies.” Page Six says

Chenoweth suffered a crippling migraine and had to lie down in the Lipton Lounge backstage after collecting her award. A source said, “People rushed to help Kristin, but once the paramedics had arrived, she said she was embarrassed.” Her rep says Chenoweth is “feeling better.”

I was all prepared to say her “migraine” was really the result of puking up every other meal and constant coke binges (what is she, 90 pounds?), but it turns out Kristin has a well-documented case of Ménière’s disease, an inner-ear disorder which can cause vertigo, nausea and crippling headaches. Everyone knows that legitimate medical conditions are not very interesting, and if there’s one thing my brief stint writing for the New York Times taught me, it’s that lying is awesome. And also that Republicans are the devil. Therefore, “Kristin Chenoweth is an anorexic meth addict on the verge of complete self-destruction, possibly voted for George Bush!” And you can quote me on that.