Actress Kristin Chenoweth collapsed Sunday night at the Emmy Awards shortly after winning Outstanding Supporting Actress for her role in “Pushing Daisies.” Page Six says

Chenoweth suffered a crippling migraine and had to lie down in the Lipton Lounge backstage after collecting her award. A source said, “People rushed to help Kristin, but once the paramedics had arrived, she said she was embarrassed.” Her rep says Chenoweth is “feeling better.”

I was all prepared to say her “migraine” was really the result of puking up every other meal and constant coke binges (what is she, 90 pounds?), but it turns out Kristin has a well-documented case of Ménière’s disease, an inner-ear disorder which can cause vertigo, nausea and crippling headaches. Everyone knows that legitimate medical conditions are not very interesting, and if there’s one thing my brief stint writing for the New York Times taught me, it’s that lying is awesome. And also that Republicans are the devil. Therefore, “Kristin Chenoweth is an anorexic meth addict on the verge of complete self-destruction, possibly voted for George Bush!” And you can quote me on that.