If there’s one thing I don’t want to see while I’m girding my loins in preparation for intercourse, it’s Ke$ha’s big ugly mug staring up at me. And you can tell by my use of the term “girding my loins” just how frequently I’m actually having any intercourse. TMZ says:

Ke$ha wants to make sure your junk is covered the next time you have sex … and now she’s putting her face on condom wrappers to prove she means business.

Ke$ha banged out a deal with LifeStyles Condoms which agreed to provide 10,000 customized rubbers for the singer to fire off into crowds at her upcoming shows, beginning on Monday.

Believing Ke$ha’s actually got 10,000 fans is the real mistake here. I guess being a walking advertisement for the morning-after pill just wasn’t cutting it for her anymore.

Ke$ha in the December 2010 issue of Photoshop Monthly Complex Magazine:

PHOTO CREDIT: Complex Magazine

Kelly Brook’s bikini-clad body has been plastered all over condom boxes in China, but the model-turned-actress never signed any endorsement deal with Eyesome condom manufacturers or authorized use of the photo. The Daily Mail says

Her management are investigating for [unauthorized] endorsement.

The 29-year-old is pictured in a sultry pose on the 12-packet boxes with Chinese branding stamped across her body. The condoms are available to buy for around [$2] in certain Chinese supermarkets and on the internet.

The firm also appears to have lifted the image of U.S. actress Mena Suvari.

I’m sure the first thing that struck you as odd were the size of the boxes. These condoms are marketed for Asians, right? Have you ever seen their genitals? That entire package doesn’t need to be any bigger than a matchbook, tops. Let’s be realistic here. The only thing some Chinaman’s going to do with a rubber that big is wear it like a pair of thigh-high panty-hose.

Kelly in Los Angeles this month:

And in a bikini on the French Riviera just because: