La Toya Jackson has always been very vocal about her belief that brother Michael was murdered for his money; now, she believes she’s next on the killers’ hit list. According to MSNBC

It’s that alleged ability to name names that has La Toya Jackson concerned those mystery men might take aim at her.

“La Toya is convinced someone paid Michael’s personal physician, Conrad Murray, to kill him because they stood to gain up to $1 billion from his death,” an insider explained. “La Toya has been telling pals she can name the mysterious people Michael’s doctor was working with when Michael died.

She is convinced they killed her brother and wouldn’t hesitate for a moment to kill her as well. She says too many people have got too much to lose if the truth gets out. She fears for her life.”

Well, fortunately, she’s psychic, so she ought to see them coming a mile away, right? Or at least purge their aura and give them an accurate tarot reading before they pump her full of propofol and valium.

Dodging death at the 14th annual MOBO awards:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Actor Randy Quaid and his wife Evi were arrested yesterday in Texas on burglary, defrauding an innkeeper and conspiracy charges after they failed to pay the San Ysidro Ranch in Santa Barbara the thousands of dollars they owed after an extended stay. This isn’t the first time the pair has been accused of the dine-and-dash approach to swanky hotels, either — TMZ says they also stiffed Bel Air Hotel in L.A., among other places. Presidio County Sheriff’s deputies said

Randy assaulted [the police] both physically and verbally and resisted arrest, but [we] will not file charges. The Sheriff’s office is in touch with officials in Santa Barbara County, who want Randy and Evi extradited.

When asked for a statement, Randy said, “Well, I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn’t you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn’t big enough. Well, I didn’t want to ask you, you know, but could you maybe spare a little extra cash?” Clark W. Griswold was reportedly unavailable for comment.

UPDATE: After Randy and Evi posted bail, the two sent a copy of a cashier’s check supposedly made out to the San Ysidro Ranch along with a handwritten statement claiming their innocence to TMZ (see that paper here).

Fug mug shots:

Hello poppets, it’s Sonya with you today. The big news this morning is that Howard K. Stern, along with two others, have been charged with illegally prescribing drugs to Anna Nicole Smith. People reports,

Stern, 40, a fixture at Smith’s side for years who once claimed to be the father of her daughter Dannielynn, has been formally charged with conspiring to furnish drugs to Smith prior to her death, prosecutors said Thursday.

Also charged with felonies were two doctors, Sandeep Kapoor, 40, and Khristine Eroshevich, 61, who allegedly prescribed medication unlawfully to Smith, according to the L.A. County District Attorney’s Office.

The conspiracy counts allege the three defendants conspired to provide controlled substances to Smith from between June 2004 and January 2007. They also were charged with “prescribing, administering or dispensing a controlled substance to an addict,” among other charges.

Iiiiinteresting. Sounds like a classic case of a tag team. Get Anna high on opiates and tell her that she’s been chosen to carry the seed of Starflight, the Magical Unicorn. Sounds like good, clean fun to me. The courts have no imagination!

Howard K. Stern and Sandeep Kapoor, who were bailed out this morning: