You might remember I brought you a little taste of American Idol cast off Constatine Maroulis rocking out in an Ohio Steinmart last month. Well, don’t think the party stops there, my friends, because it doesn’t. The crazy train makes a stop at a “To Be Announced” and then a Borders bookstore late January, after having finished a two-month stint calling bingo in a casino in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Oh, yes. Bingo. I’m pretty sure the next two rungs on that ladder of success are “singing the jingle for Simon’s Septic Tank Uncloggers” and “amateur gay porn shot in your mom’s basement.” I say 2008 is the year of the Maroulis!

While fellow American Idol alumni Carrie Underwood and Chris Daughtry spent the weekend hobnobbing with celebrities at the AMA’s, season 4 loser Constantine Mouralis was belting out his greatest hits at a Stein Mart in Ohio. And I do mean “belting out.” For someone performing to packed house of seven in a mid-west discount department store, Constanteeny sure does give it all he’s got. And what he’s got is greasy hair and a proclivity for reaching out to the camera like a mime in need of a rope. So that’s not saying much. I’m sure it took a lot of finagling to convince him that standing there with his pants around his ankles, masturbating while tongue-kissing a picture of himself wasn’t the way to go. But if there’s one thing the management staff at Stein Mart knows, it’s how to handle a diva. And also how to save you with a season of holiday values. Stores open 10 a.m to 9 p.m. Monday through Friday. Holiday hours may vary. See you local Stein Mart retailer for details.