Although auditions for the ninth season of American Idol start August 6, long-time judge Paula Abdul doesn’t even have a contract proposal from the show’s production companies yet. Maybe they just didn’t offer it in pill form. According to the LA Times

“Very sadly, it does not appear that she’s going to be back on ‘Idol,’” [said] David Sonenberg, Abdul’s manager.

“I think unnecessarily hurtful,” he said of the contract holdup. “I find it kind of unconscionable and certainly rude and disrespectful that they haven’t stepped up and said what they want to do. I reached out to the head of business affairs at FremantleMedia and 19 Entertainment and told Fox that Paula would love to be on the show, [but] I have not received any proposal whatsoever.”

Representatives for Fremantle, 19 and Fox all separately declined to comment.

“She’s not a happy camper as a result of what’s going on. She’s hurt. She’s angry,” Sonenberg said. “I think at this point we’re going to be considering everything, including some kind of a competition show. She has tremendous ideas for a whole variety of shows.”

Boy, that “American Idol” is gonna rue the day, I tell you. Rue the day. Because where are they gonna find another judge who finds every contestant “stayed true to who they are” and “amazing” and “a breath of fresh air?” American Idol just shot itself in the foot. Well, metaphorically, of course. Not like that time Paula shot herself in the foot because she thought it was a musk rat. That’s just a unfortunate coincidence.

Some Hey Paula highlights plus various interviews where she’s high as a goddamn kite after the jump

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NBC is expected to announce today that it has created a “Tonight Show, but During Prime Time” in a desperate bid to prevent host Jay Leno from jumping networks when his contract is up next year. Conan O’Brien is reportedly still slated to take over the real “Tonight Show” in May 2009, while SNL toolfest Jimmy Fallon will be assuming Conan’s old hosting gig. Your regular drinking alone and masturbating during the commercial breaks will remain unchanged. The NY Times says

Mr. Leno’s new show will appear at 10 o’clock each weeknight in a format similar to the “Tonight Show”… [and will] be set in Mr. Leno’s longtime studio in Burbank, Calif. Mr. Leno is expected to retain many of the most popular elements of his “Tonight Show,” including his monologue and “Headlines” and “Jay Walking.”

Mr. O’Brien, currently the host of NBC’s “Late Night,” will move “The Tonight Show” to a new studio on the NBC Universal lot in Universal City.

So it’s basically the same Tonight Show, only an hour earlier, and the same Conan O’Brien show, only an hour earlier. And then an hour-long fluffer before the infomercials known as Jimmy Fallon. No wonder NBC ranks last out of all the networks. A man with an eye for business would have given a two-hour variety show to the Masturbating Bear and a whimsical late-night cooking show to Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and Gorilla Nurse Using an Old Fashioned Abdominal Exerciser While Listening to Angel in the Morning by Juice Newton. I know ratings gold when I see it!

And now for some Jennifer Lopez at the premiere of “Benjamin Button” last night, because her name also starts with J, only she has boobs (might want to write that one down, NBC!):