Chris Brown denied he was referencing the 2009 beating he gave former girlfriend Rihanna in his new “freestyle” remix of Kanye West’s god-awful “Theraflu,” but it seems the lyrics “Don’t fuck with my old bitch it’s like a bad fur/ Every industry nigga done had her/ Shook the tree like a pumpkin just to smash her/ Bitch is breaking codes, but I’m the password” pissed Rihanna off enough to unfollow him on Twitter (he later followed suit and unfollowed her, too. So there!). Digital Spy says:

Brown addressed the controversy in a Twitter post on Thursday.

He wrote: “Assumptions! I didn’t say any names so if u took offense to it then its something you feel guilty about.”

Yes, that’s right. It’s something YOU feel guilty about. Because you had so much to do with it. Seriously, your issues are really bringing everybody down. It’s time you accepted some responsibility for your actions.

In his controversial interview by NBC that was taken days before his guilty verdict, Dr. Conrad Murray claims that Michael Jackson wet the bed. Gee, file that one under “Information I didn’t want to hear”. Female First says,

Despite being 50 years old at the time of his death from acute Propofol intoxication in 2009, the ‘Thriller’ singer’s personal doctor, Conrad Murray claims he regularly “peed the bed”.

Speaking in documentary ‘Michael Jackson and the Doctor: A Fatal Friendship’ Conrad, who was found guilty of the involuntary manslaughter of the late singer on Monday (07.11.11) said: “The bedroom that he slept in I had to persuade him, eventually to have it cleaned.

“He peed the bed. It did not smell good. It was mildew, and I had to get it clean.”

Dr. Murray also says he believes the singer may have had a psychological problem that caused him to wet himself, adding: “Who would ever believe that a man his age would still be wetting his bed?”

Also in the documentary which members of Michael’s family and the executors of his estate have attempted to stop from airing in the US later today (11.11.11) Dr. Murray claims he was the ‘Beat It’ star’s only friend.

He said: “I went there to take care of a healthy man, who said he was fine, to just keep surveillance. But once I got in there I was entrapped.

“He had very close acquaintances, but friends he did not have. He told me, ‘I’ve found one friend, which is you’.”

Saaad. Michael Jackson went from a very talented singer at the top of his game to that guy who doesn’t have any friends and wets the bed.  Sounds kind of like me actually, minus the part where I started at a high point. When you earn a name like “Betsy Wetsy” early on in childhood, it kind of dampens any motivation to succeed.

Cat Deeley in Hawaii, who probably doesn’t wet the bed:

The hit TV show Dancing with the Stars has gotten into some controversy when it was announced this week that Chaz Bono would be a contestant. Says Digital Spy,

A series of transphobic slurs were posted on ABC’s official message board after Bono was revealed as one of Dancing with the Stars’ latest contestants this week.

Bono’s mother Cher and his Dancing with the Stars partner Lacey Schwimmer have branded the criticism as unfair.

Dancing with the Stars exec Green has weighed in on the controversy, telling The AP: “I hope that a lot of the people who appear to be upset at the moment will give him a chance and maybe realize it’s not quite as bad as they think.”

Green went on to deny claims made by the Culture and Media Institute that Dancing with the Stars is attempting to promote a sexual agenda.

“I think we’ve had three gay or transgender contestants out of about 120 on the show, so what we’re really doing is reflecting some of the make-up of this vast array of people that make up American society,” Green said.

Green also insisted that Bono was not invited to join Dancing with the Stars simply because he’s transgender, adding: “[Bono] comes from Hollywood royalty as a family and is familiar to loads of our audience throughout his life.”

I say let him compete. Not because I support the transgender community–I don’t. I don’t trust anyone who wants to sew up her ladybits and get rid of her boobs. Seriously? Who doesn’t want boobs? ‘Round these parts, that’s more than enough to condemn a person. But if there’s anything worse than a transgendered person, it’s a fat transgendered person. Dance off that fat, freakshow! If you’re going to be a man, than at least be a hot man. There’s plenty enough butterballs already in this world, thankyouverymuch.

Evan Rachel Wood at The Ides of March premiere at the Venice Film Festival, because A. She has boobs and B. She’s not fat. Do you really need me to spell it out for you? Sheesh.

Rihanna’s latest video “Man Down” has stirred up all kinds of controversy in the last two days, but I’m just now getting around to it because it contained absolutely no naked Blake Lively photos. You see my dilemma. TMZ says:

The Parents Television Council is blasting Rihanna for hawking a “cold, calculated execution of murder” in her brand new music video for “Man Down.”

The council is outraged that Rihanna would suggest that gunning down a rapist in a crowded train station is a proper form of justice.

The PTC is all the more outraged that Rihanna tweeted her fans that the video contained, “a very strong underlying message 4 girls like me.”

Rihanna responded to the criticism yesterday with a series of tweets absolving herself of any wrongdoing in that she is a “rockstar” making “art,” not a parent. Her words, not mine. The Daily Mail says:

Rihanna has defended her controversial new music video Man Down, insisting ‘this is the real world’.

‘I’m a 23 year old rockstar with NO KIDS! What’s up with everybody wanting me to be a parent? I’m just a girl, I can only be your/our voice!’ she wrote.

‘The music industry isn’t exactly Parents R Us! We have the freedom to make art, LET US! Its your job to make sure they don’t turn out like US.’

Women are brutalized and exploited in music videos all the damn time, so I don’t see how a music video in which a girl brings down a little vigilante justice is such a big deal. If we’re gonna air grievances about the video, why don’t we start with the fact that the song sounds like a crappy Bob Marley cover band doing a ripoff of Aerosmith’s Janie Got a Gun with a little help from the Little Drummer Boy from the classic Christmas carol. Rum-pa-pa-pum? And I said it before, but it merits mentioning again — the video is sorely lacking in the Blake Lively nipple department. Ultimately, I think that’s where our real problem lies.

But it’s not short in the Rihanna nipple department, because she’s completely see-through in these screen grabs from the video:

Pepsi’s new “skinny can” is stirring up controversy with its ad featuring a seemingly-Photoshopped Sofia Vergara. Says Digital Spy,

Sofia Vergara has insisted that photos of herself taken for Pepsi’s ‘skinny can’ were not altered.

The beverage brand received criticism on the “thoughtless and irresponsible” campaign from the National Eating Disorders Association after it was suggested that the Modern Family actress’s image had been photoshopped to make her appear thinner.

However, Vergara denied the claims, saying that she looks slimmer in the photos because of a wardrobe choice.

“That is not true at all,” she told the Boston Herald.

“I saw the pictures, and now with technology, they’re looking at it on the screen right after they take them. It was just a different way of dressing me.”

What the hell is she talking about, anyway? It’s a profile shot of her face, part of her right boob and arm. You can’t even tell it’s her. People are just always looking for a reason to be offended these days, to pick up their collective skirts and leave in a huff. Like that time I went to a Victorian-era reenactment tea in blackface. I don’t know what the problem was, I was being historically accurate.

On the set of Modern Family:

Women’s fashion magazine Elle is celebrating their 25th anniversary with the release of four different covers starring four of their “25 Most Notable Women Under 25″: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Lauren Conrad (really?), and “Precious” actress Gabourey Sidibe. Of course, people everywhere are now subsequently outraged that they can only make out one of Gabourey’s three stomachs on her cover, whereas the rest of the WASP-y actresses boast full body shots on theirs. Nine MSN says:

Precious star Gabourey Sidibe is actually 27, but that’s not what everyone’s freaking out about.

The people at Elle have come under fire for their rather ruthless cropping of the overweight star. While slimmer ladies Megan Fox, Lauren Conrad and Amanda Seyfried are all shown in full body shots, Gabourey’s cover is a close up of just her face.

And to really ramp up the controversy, some bloggers are claiming the African American star’s skin has been digitally lightened.

Well, there’s no doubt she’s been digitally lightened. She’s a nice shade of cafe mocha on the cover; in real life, she’s more of a La Brea tar pit (comparison photo here) hue. When Elle finally comes out with a coffee table book, I’m sure they’ll finally have room to fit the rest of her body in the picture.

Jennifer Aniston has outraged a bunch of we’ve-got-a-cause-and-a-megaphone types after she referred to herself as a “retard” on “Live with Regis and Kelly.” No telling how outraged they would have been if they had also been forced to watch “The Switch.” The Daily Mail says

The actress, 41, was discussing her Harper’s Bazaar photo shoot in which she posed as Barbra Streisand when she seemed to absently let the offensive term slip.

Replying to a question from co-host Regis Philbin on Thursday’s program, Aniston said: “Yes, I play dress up! I do it for a living, like a retard!”

While the studio audience laughed at the self-deprecating sentiment and the show went on without comment, a storm was brewing outside the television studio.

The CEO of The Arc (a non-profit advocate for those with intellectual and developmental disabilities), [said] it was “extraordinarily offensive and inappropriate.”

He added: ‘Frankly, someone in her position ought to know better.”

Oh, waaaah waah waaaah. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with everybody? You can’t call someone a faggot or a tard these days without some advocate group getting in your face and telling you what a misogynist/racist/homophobe/elitist/solipsist/anti-dentite you are. Sorry, but it’s my First Amendment right to deride and insult. Some people even make a good living that way.

Jen arriving to The Daily Show last night; video of the retard incident after the jump:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

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Miley Cyrus thinks everyone’s ridiculous for making a fuss about her simulated kiss on TV, then makes things even better by dressing like a hooker during her latest performance in London. Us Magazine quotes Miley as saying,

“I performed ‘Can’t Be Tamed’ this week on one of my favorite shows here in the UK Britian’s Got Talent. Which is totally true, there were some amazinnnggg acts (but of course no one could focus on that.) I had such a blast and was so honored to be on that stage. That being said during my performance I supposedly ‘KISSED A GIRL’ and this is the newest thing to cause controversy.
“I promise you I did not kiss her and it is ridiculous that two entertainers cant even rock out with each other without the media making it some type of story. I really hope my fans are not disappointed in me because the truth is I did nothing wrong. I got up there and did my job which is to perform to the best of my ability. I just want to put an end to this right now and just say one thing to everyone out there making this performance such a big deal.
“GET OVER IT! NOTHING HAPPENED. THERE ARE WAYYYYYYY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN THE WORLD. Let’s start focusing a little less on making up ignorant rumors and focus a little more on world peace! We gotta a lot of work to do if we wan this earth to be here much longer. Let’s make a change! It wouldn’t hurt the world to show a little more love. X M”

Hey guys, it wasn’t for realsies, so it’s okay. Dressing like an underage hooker is just her job! Let’s show the world more love by doing a little bump-n-grind with the backup dancers, ‘kay? That’s the way they settle things in Kentucky! Yee-haw!

Performing at G-A-Y nightclub in London:

Kim Kardashian can’t resist posting pictures of herself with her tits hanging out, so of course this photo went up on her Twitter page yesterday. But this time, people seemed less interested in her fake boobs and more concerned about the poor cat dangling five feet off the ground. PETA said in a written statement

“Kim Kardashian… mistakenly thinks that because a mother cat picks up her kittens by the scruff of the neck that a supportive hand under the rump isn’t needed.”

But Kim was quick to defend her photo, writing on her official blog:

I have been getting negative comments regarding the way I was holding the kitty, but rest assured, the owner and vet were on set and showed me how to pick him up. The cat was not harmed in any way and is perfectly fine! I love animals and would never do anything to harm any animals.

And in her defense, I’m sure when she sees something black, she instinctively feels she has to get underneath it. We can’t fault her for that. It’d be like getting mad at a retard for having an extra 21st chromosome.

Shopping in Sydney in — you guessed it! — a skin-tight minidress:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Billy Ray Cyrus just doesn’t understand why daughter Miley’s pole dance at the Teen Choice Awards earlier this month was such a big freakin’ deal. It’s just a 16-year old in hot pants squatting around a pole, and besides, if there’s anything Hollywood has taught us, it’s that hypersexualizing teenage girls always has a happy ending. Just ask Britney Spears! He told Us Magazine

“You know what? I just think that Miley loves entertaining people,” he [says] of his 16-year-old daughter, who swirled around a pole attached to an ice cream truck during her performance of “Party in the USA” Aug. 10.

“I always tell her to love what you’re doing and not worry so much about opinion. I give my kids a lot of freedom. I think it’s important.”

Trish and Billy Ray really should’ve named her Fancy instead of Miley. They already put her in a dancin’ dress (okay, dancin’ shorts) and whored her out uptown. “Just be nice to the gentlemen, Fancy, and theyll be nice to you!” It’s almost like Reba McEntire wrote that song just for her.

Whoring out her new Max Azria line for Wal-Mart: