Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael and two armed police officers barged into her L.A. apartment yesterday as part of an intervention and welfare check at Michael’s request on his youngest daughter, Ali, who has been staying with Lindsay for the last two weeks. Thanks, California tax payers! That’s your tax dollars hard at work right there. Us Magazine says

Michael [says] that he was worried about Ali after hearing she drove home “at 115 miles an hour” from the Coachella music festival this weekend with Lindsay.

“I went to the police department concerned about Ali’s welfare,” Michael says. “I wanted to check on Ali. I want to make sure she’s OK. She’s 16 and she doesn’t belong there! She’s a minor. Ali is being exposed to nightlife and the people Lindsay is surrounding herself with,” Michael continues.

Michael says he’s meeting with Lindsay’s attorney’s today to consider getting a conservatorship, similar to Britney Spears and Jamie Spears.

But of course mom Dina Lohan has to get her two coked-out cents in, telling the media that Michael didn’t even recognize his younger daughter upon entering the apartment. According to Radar Online

“Michael walked into the apartment looked right at Ali and said, I’m looking for my daughter Ali, is she here?” Dina [said].

“That’s from Ali’s lips to God’s ears. He didn’t even recognize his own daughter. That’s what she told me he said when he walked in there and saw her.”

“I’m petrified for my girls and their safety. My girls are so afraid of him, I’ve had an order of protection place since 2005. They are so afraid for their lives. My ex-husband is dangerous.”

I’m pretty sure that nothing from a Lohan’s lips ever makes it to God’s ears, but don’t try telling her that. And besides, who needs God when you’ve got Twitter, right? Lindsay tweeted:

i have no choice but to make this public, due to my sister’s safety, as well as my own, “my ex-dad” just WALKED INTO MY APT like the devil’s advocate with officers.

my BUILDING didn’t STOP him, isn’t it supposed to be safe? it coulda been FAKE cops! dressed up!when will it ever end… it’s been going on my whole life with him-hasn’t he caused enough pain ?

the only one in need of police protection here is ME AND ALI from our pathological, lying ex-father!

my mother is AMAZING! not ANYTHING like what Michael is saying. W/out her, i wouldn’t of been able to follow my dreams and be as strong as i am today.

my friend @lianalevi doesn’t drive 100mph!! my dad is the one who drove into a telephone pole!!!! hello! i’m not up ALL NIGHT!!! stop lying!

at least i can laugh at my ex-con father anyone care to join in on the laughter avec moi?? hehe

pathological liar- a person who lies to the point of it being considered a disease or condition, an abnormally habitual liar = MY FATHER

I’m not surprised he didn’t recognize Ali, because since she’s started hanging around with Lindsay, she looks like a 35-year old divorcee with gout. All I know is if the military could somehow get its hands on whatever toxic forcefield it is that Lindsay Lohan creates, we’d have a bioweapon so powerful that all our enemies would once again fear us. We might not be able to nuke you, but we’ve still got Lindsay Lohan and her poison vagina! Mwah ha ha ha!

Cops were called to Paris Hilton’s house late Tuesday night after she got into a drunken shoving match with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt in the middle of her driveway. But of course, Paris is claiming it was all just a misunderstanding on the part of the LAPD. She told TMZ

“Doug and I were in bed, sound asleep, when Doug’s houseguests from hell got into an argument. We had nothing to do with it. Doug told the LAPD that his guests’ fight was over and that we had nothing to do with it.”

Except that’s not how the neighbors remember it, because it’s not what actually happened:

A neighbor [witnessed] Paris in her driveway screaming at Doug and watched as the two engaged in a mutual shoving match. And then there’s the LAPD, who tells us after arriving they actually made Paris get out of bed so they could check for injuries.

Well, she’s clearly lying. Cops don’t usually frisk you for something someone else did. Unless you’re a black man driving an expensive car, in which case it really goes without saying.

Launching her new hair tool “The Celebrity Styler” with sister Nicky:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Remember the night cops were called to Jon Gosselin’s residence when he refused Kate entry to his home? It seems Kate’s 8-year-old daughters were the ones who made the call to their mother asking her to come get them because Jon was groping the babysitter and they didn’t like having to watch it. Ooh, Daddy likey! The kids, not so much. According to Star Magazine

Cara and Mady were so upset about Jon and sitter Stephanie Santoro — a wannabe nude model who he took on for sitting duties after meeting her in a bar — that they put in a panicked call to mom.

Kate rushed to the house but Jon wouldn’t let her in and cops were called after the parents of eight got into a screaming match.

So who is the latest woman in sleazy-stud Jon’s life? We have the full dirt from her ex-boyfriend, who calls her “crazy” and tells us: “That girl is a danger to the kids. My message to Kate would be to not allow her children to be around her.”

Wait, there’s more! Remember the Star Magazine reporter fired for doing sexy times with Jon? Now that he’s dumped her, she’s ready to talk. Kate Major told Life and Style Magazine

“Jon said he couldn’t be seen having a girlfriend, so he told me to drive to a neighbor’s house after midnight, when the kids were asleep. He said he’d pick me up on his four-wheeler, take me to his house and drop me off again at 6 a.m.

I was shocked and said, ‘No, I don’t feel right doing that. What if the kids wake up?’ He was like, ‘They’re not going to notice, they’re not going to see anything.’ He wasn’t nervous about it — I was.”

And of Jon’s relationship with Kate’s plastic surgeon’s daughter Hailey Glassman, she adds:

“When we were in the Hamptons, we were planning to go to Las Vegas. Now he’s taking Hailey — and that was a trip we had planned together. Jon told [me] he was going to Massachusetts to break up with [Glassman]. But when he left on June 23, [he] shut his phone off. When he finally called [me] back, he said ‘he needed to be single.’ He totally screwed me over and acted like a dirtbag.”

Well, good for him. Jon’s really doing his part to make sure that his daughters understand that a father’s love is conditional and their self-worth is really at the mercy of his wiener. It’s not like porn stars and strippers grow on trees, you know. Everybody’s gotta start somewhere!

With Hailey in France:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin