Lily Collins attended the premiere of “Mirror, Mirror” in Paris yesterday, which for some reason is called “Snow White” there. Maybe “Mirror, Mirror” doesn’t translate well into French, because French was invented by the French, and we all know how obnoxious the French are and so it makes sense that their language would prohibit a direct translation, because the French are silly surrender monkeys and can’t be trusted to do anything right except suck. The End.

Jennifer Love Hewitt keeps trying to convince us she’s still sexy and not at all fat but posting overtly photoshopped pics of herself on Twitter. Contrary to what my dad always told me, you apparently can stuff ten pounds of shit in a five-pound sack. Just so long as there’s a magic wand and clone tool to clean up all the stuff that spills over.

Katy Perry burping her crotch next to a plié-ing mime seems like something you’d see in a David Lynch movie. All that’s missing is a creepy little boy on a tricycle and midget speaking backwards in front of a mirror.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Anne Hathaway to me at times looks odd. It’s either her very large eyes or her very large mouth–it’s like she’s going to kill me with her evil eye death-ray, and eat me with her gaping maw. Happily, this is not one of those moments. It could also have to do with the fact that I took my anti-psychotic today.

There’s only happy feelings:

I can’t stand Katy Perry, but I have to admit she looks damn sexy in that corset on the cover of Vanity Fair. Funny how men seem so much more threatening when they aren’t wearing pants.

At the Arthur premiere with her douche of a husband:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Lindsay Lohan showed up at the Nu Pop Movement party at Kitson Men over the weekend with a gigantic back brace wrapped around her midsection. She must have somehow thrown her back out, bless her heart. I guess having your ankles pinned to your ears six hours a day really isn’t good for the ol’ lumbar as you might think.

12 more pics after the jump:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

(more…)

I literally have no idea what the movie Jonah Hex is about, but apparently Megan Fox is in it.  Based on these pictures taken from the set, I’m assuming the movie is a heartwarming tale about a bear and a squirrel that become friends on a perilous journey home across America.  Or, you know, something about Old West prostitutes.  It’s anybody’s guess, really.