There is no more perfect woman than Kelly Brook, so if human cloning ever takes off, it makes sense to start with her. I can’t be the only one who’s fantasized about frolicking through a field of topless Kelly Brookses gently swaying in the breeze.

Despite her crack-addict-like dependence on Photoshop and injectable fillers, Kim Kardashian is loudly proclaiming how much she loves herself just the way she is in the May 2011 “Body Issue” of Cosmo UK. The Daily Mail says:

The 30-year-old reality star poses in a series of revealing outfits for the publication’s May ‘body’ issue [and] certainly seems pleased with the results, writing on her website today: “This was such a sexy shoot and I love the way the photos turned out.”

[She tells the magazine], “Personally, I’ve always loved the curvy look. Even when I was a little girl and all my friends would be like, ‘Oh, my god, your butt’s so big.’ And I’d say, ‘I love it.’”

So her friends were those white girls at the beginning of Sir Mix-a-lot’s “Baby Got Back Video?” Weird. I always wondered what happened to those chicks.

I could talk about the lunatic that was shot down at the Discovery Channel headquarters today after holding several people hostage and demanding that they cease production of “19 Kids and Counting” and “Jon and Kate Plus 8,” but that story really doesn’t have any boobs in it. At least not boobs in the mammary sense of the word, and that’s the only definition I’m counting here. So let’s talk Christina Hendricks and her awesome rack instead! Popeater says:

The UK edition of Cosmopolitan magazine claims that young women would rather look like breakout ‘Mad Men’ star Christina Hendricks than iconic waif Kate Moss.

“Joan [Hendricks' character] has had a huge impact on fashion and on women having the confidence to flaunt their curves,” editor Louise Court [said].

“This year loads of girls want to look like Christina Hendricks, not Kate Moss.”

Hendricks has also recently been praised by Britain’s Equalities Minister for setting a great body-image example with her hourglass figure.

It’s nice to see women being encouraged to have real boobs again. I’m so over the rail-thin blonde with bolt-on tits look that is so pervasive in Hollywood these days. Give me a luscious, curvy brunette like Kelly Brook or a buxom redhead like Christina any day of the week. No, I mean it. Give them to me. Give them to me, or I take everyone at ABC Studio Headquarters hostage until “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” get taken off the air. Just do what I say, and nobody gets hurt!

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Q: What do Polacks call toilet seat protectors?
A: Bibs

Q: How can you tell if your Cosmo is Polish?
A: It’s got Megan Fox on the cover but only one picture of her in it… and it’s in Braille.

In Polish Cosmo (first thumb); the rest are HQ stills from “Jennifer’s Body”: