Now that her vagina has lain dormant for a grueling three weeks, Kate Hudson has magically rekindled the “closeness” she once had with her ex-husband, Chris Robinson. Just how close, you ask? Well, genital contact close. She tells the October issue of Cosmo

“Look — [Chris and I are] still basically living together! We’ve figured it out. I mean, obviously, nothing’s perfect, but I could never look at [our divorce] as a mistake. If anything, it’s the best thing that ever happened to us.”

Trust me, the only way their child could be any more scarred by all this is if he started brushing his teeth with a curling iron and juggling knitting needles on the interstate. At least when you lose an eye to the ol’ knit-and-pearl you never have to consider how your mom’s insatiable need for cock factored into your current family dynamic.