Here it is bow season, and me without my compound bow! Too bad I couldn’t mount that head over my fireplace. She probably field dresses at a good hundred and ten pounds.
I guess Blitzen finally decided to come out of the closet:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
Coco is a great visual reminder that you can’t spell “classy” without the word “ass.” You also can’t spell “assertoric” without the word “ass,” but I don’t really see how Aristotlean logic ties in with anything here. Let’s try and keep it relevant, people.
One more of her other S&M outfit and a week’s worth of Twitter pics:
Here’s desperate attention-seeker Kim Kardashian skanking it up in another Disney costume for Halloween, this time as Snow White from “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.” But Kim doesn’t look like the Snow White I remember from the classic Disney movie. She looks more like that chick from “Blow White and the Seven Whores” — Easy, Gropey, Cock, Horny, Anal, and Humpy. There wasn’t a whole lot of whistling while they worked, as I recall. Mostly just screaming and moaning and the occasional gagging noise.
♫”I can show you the world”♫… or you could just show me your tits. I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing anyone really cares about seeing here.
Kim Kardashian as “Aladdin’s” Jasmine for Halloween:
Now here’s a costume that’s all trick and no treat! The trick of course being “an enormous shoehorn and two industrial-sized tubs of Crisco.” Mariah would have made a much more convincing Huttese crime lord or Outer Rim gas giant.
Cheesah beecha wonky Chewbacca:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online
Even MORE of Fatty Fatty Fat Fat after the jump!
If you’re thinking to yourself, “Boy, Paris Hilton never looked so believably feminine,” you should know that the Paris on the left is actually her boyfriend Doug Reinfarthardt dressed as Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz.” The one on the right is the real Paris. I was stunned, too! The Daily Mail says
What could be more frightening than the thought of Paris Hilton dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz? Easy. Her AND her boyfriend dressing as Dorothy.
The heiress, and her man Doug Reinhardt, both wore blond pigtails, dresses and red high heels for Hilton’s Halloween house party in LA last night.
The best part is, the both share the same shoe size. And bra size. And Zovirax prescription. I bet that made shopping for costumes a breeze!
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online, Bauer-Griffin
More pics of Slutenstein and company after the jump
There are reports this morning that Mel Gibson’s mistress Oksana Grigorieva has given birth to his bastard child. Mazel Tov! Maybe they’ll call her “Sugartits.” Radar Online says
It’s official – Mel Gibson is an Octo-Dad!
Mel’s fiancé Oksana Grigorieva has given birth to their baby. And pass out the cigars because it’s a healthy baby girl.
And because Mel’s Russian lady-friend looks like she should be trolling the shores of a lake looking for children to boil in her cauldron or bake in her gingerbread oven, here’s Gwen Stefani dresses as Jessie the Yodeling Cowgirl from Toy Story 2. Or possibly as anybody from Texas. It’s kinda hard to tell the difference most of the time.
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online
Bonus footage of Ellen DeGeneres scaring the crap out of Taylor Swift after the jump.
Since tomorrow’s Halloween, it just wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t post a couple pictures of a celebrity in costume. Unfortunately, all the good parties won’t be until the weekend, so this is all I could scrounge up for today: Tyra Banks as a Kardashian on her show and as Kate Gosselin in Star Magazine. Bo-ring. Whereas I will be wearing a pair of fangs and two flesh-colored garbage sacks stuffed with disproportionate amounts of dry leaves around either side of my neck because I’m going as Count Sac-ulaTM for Halloween. Consider the Dick in a Box costume owned!
PHOTO CREDIT: Nine MSN
When I was nine, I dressed up as a fairy princess for Halloween. Miley Cyrus’ little sister Noah is apparently going with “coccinellid cocksucker” and “child prostitute with progeria” for her All Hallow’s Eve festivities. Perhaps Billy Ray will be taking her trick-or-treating at a local penitentiary or a hostel for registered sex offenders. There’s only so many good “back of an unmarked van’s” to hit up in any given neighborhood on Halloween, you know!
Now with even more kiddie-porn flava after the jump!
What I wanna know is, what’s Huttese for “boobies?” I checked my Tattooine pocket dictionary and couldn’t find it anywhere. All I could find was a list of informal greetings and like seven different terms for the word “virgin.” Frankly, that doesn’t help me here at all.
Adrianne Curry using the force at Comic-Con (via Twitter):
Fashion magazines will tell you that if you’re pear-shaped, to try to wear clothing that draws the eye away from your hips and bottom, to play up your top half to balance your bottom half. The rules do not apply however, to Sasha Fierce. Her fashion rules say, “If it’s big, put a bow on it to make it bigger!” and “A girl can never wear too much gold or sequins. Gold sequins are even better,” and “Putting weird angles on your hips are good!”. I think she might be hiding a small village in that thing.
Performing at Bercy in Paris:
Heidi Klum and Seal renewed their wedding vows in Malibu yesterday with a white-trash themed hoe-down for a bunch of friends and family. I’d swear these pictures were from my third wedding, except there aren’t any F-150s plastered with Confederate flags in the background and none of the bridesmaids are doing kegstands.
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