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Why do people hate Gwyneth Paltrow so much? Easy. It’s because of stuff like this. And this. Also this. And don’t let’s forget this. And now she’s demanding her celebrity friends boycott Vanity Fair’s annual Oscars party after the magazine threatened to run a “bombshell expose” detailing her affair with Elle Macpherson’s billionaire husband Jeff Soffer. The Daily Mail says:

“Gwyneth feels her relationship with the magazine has been destroyed and she’s urging pals not just to avoid doing business with the magazine, but to skip the mag’s Oscar party as well,” a source [said]. “To be frank, she wants to shut their Oscar party down entirely.”

And it’s not the first time that Gwyneth has attempted to stage something of a celebrity coup against the magazine.

In May, the star composed a letter to friends after recent ‘unflattering’ articles the magazine printed about Tom Cruise and her ex-fiancé Brad Pitt [that read], “If you are asked for quotes or comments, please decline. Also, I recommend you all never do this magazine again.’

Really, boycotts? Epic takedowns? Her life is like a real-life episode of Gossip Girl.

In the gallery above: Gwyneth looking like a demon at the 2011 Vanity Fair Oscar party + some of her previous Vanity Fair covers, before the dark times.

News

Scarlett Johansson was revealed as Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive yesterday, the only woman to ever land the title twice (she first won it back in 2006). I guess Justin Timberlake isn’t the only one bringing sexy back! Believe me, that hurt me more than it hurt you. Now go to your room and think about what you’ve done.

The rest of Scarlett’s Esquire spread + some of her old yearbook pics in the gallery above.

News

After legendary Vogue editor Anna Wintour got an eyeful of Miley Cyrus’ MTV Video Music Awards “performance” last week, she eighty-sixed the December cover that Miley had already shot in favor of someone less “distasteful.” Buuuuuurn! The Daily Mail says:

20-year-old Cyrus was photographed for the December issue as editor-in-chief Anna Wintour had been eager to champion her as a new fashion icon.

But she soon changed her mind after witnessing the singer perform her overtly sexual routine in latex bra and knickers.

“Anna found the whole thing distasteful,’ a source says. ‘She decided, based on Miley’s performance, to take the cover in a ‘different direction.’”

This could have been one of those defining moments in Miley’s life — landing the cover of the most iconic fashion magazine of our time — something she could look back on when she’s older with proud nostalgia and share with the grandkids. But NO. No, instead she decided to wear rubber underpants and ride a foam finger like Sea Biscuit at the Brooklyn Handicap. Welcome to rock bottom, Miley.

Photos from her new “Bangerz” album in the gallery above.

Style

I didn’t think I liked Nicole Kidman’s shoes in this Jimmy Choo ad. But then I thought maybe I really liked them. But then I decided I didn’t like them. But I think maybe I like them.

Five pair of Jimmy Choos I definitely like:

  1. Jimmy Choo Anouk pink suede pumps, because every girl needs a hot pink high heel like Barbie. ($595)
  2. And since every girl also needs a shiny red shoe, the Anouk pointy-toe pump also comes in red patent leather. ($595)
  3. Jimmy Choo’s Crown Navy glitter open-toe pumps should be paired with black satin tuxedo shorts and an appletini. (reg $745 sale $498)
  4. These Jimmy Choo yellow and black Agnes degradé leather pumps remind me of race cars, and I like to go fast. ($695)
  5. But you can also get the tasteful neutral business edition of the Agnes degradé pump. ($695)

All of Nicole’s Jimmy Choo Fall 2013 ads + five of my favorite Jimmy Choo pumps in the gallery above (plus bonus Nicole in next month’s Vogue Germany)!

News

Jennifer Lopez W Magazine

She is reportedly worth $250 million and won’t let any of the help make eye contact, but Jennifer Lopez has revealed that she was once “homeless” in an interview with next month’s W magazine. The interview begins:

Lopez [walks in] wearing a loose bright pink jogging suit and sequined platform sneakers. She is a kind of physical wonder.

EDITORS’S NOTE: Haha, buuuuuurrrn! Sequin platform sneakers on a 44-year-old woman. But wait, there’s more:

Lopez says moved out [of her family home] when she was 18 — 26 years ago. She had studied dance at the Ballet Hispanico and at the Kips Bay Boys & Girls Club, and she wanted to pursue it as a career.

“My mom and I butted heads,” [Lopez said]. “I didn’t want to go to college; I wanted to try dance full-time. So she and I had a break. I started sleeping on the sofa in the dance studio. I was homeless. A few months later, I booked In Living Color. I became a Fly Girl and moved to L.A. It all happened in a year.”

Her mother was right. Graduates of the Ballet Hispanico and Kips Bay Boys & Girls Club are lucky to land gigs as back up dancers at a Six Flags’ Reelin’ in the Years show, and only 1 out of 10 of those Six Flags dancers make it to the hallowed realm of “African-American sketch comedy show back-up dancer on a fledgling network.” She’s one of those rare people who believes in her dreams, even when the rest of the world is urinating on them. And by that I mean her dreams. It’s not like she’s Kim Kardashian. High five!

Web wonders:

The married couple quote machine generator includes such favorites as “are you mad at me,” “what’s wrong,” and “are the dishes in the dishwasher clean.” (Mandatory)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is finally home — she’s joining Fox News. (Huffington Post)

Justin Bieber pees in a restaurant cleaning bucket while his shameless hanger-ons friends cheer him on: the video. (Celebitchy)

This is how you know you’ve had enough plastic surgery. (Hollywood Rag)

Lindsay Lohan is like Marilyn Monroe, mostly in the prescription pill and secret abortion department. (popbytes)

Beyonce is massive and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop her, which is sort of respectable in its own way. (Evil Beet)

Janice Dickinson in a bikini will make you just wish you stayed in bed this morning. (Celeb Slam)

The first ads for Madonna’s Material Girl line starring the tasteless Rita Ora are out. (Hollywood PQ)

Watch an astronaut wash her hair in zero gravity! (Jezebel)

Apparently Cloud Atlas was really good. Who knew? (Pajiba)

Both Django and Milo made the top 25 boy names of 2013. This just confirms my suspicion that people are stupid. (The Stir)

Britney Spears’ two sons make a cameo in her new “Ooh La La” video. (Bitten & Bound)

Leann Rimes wants you to know she’s not pregnant, but she can flare her nostrils like a show pony at a fair. (I’m Not Obsessed)

Rice enzymes: which is better, Tatcha or Dermalogica? (Fab Over 40)

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