Jennifer Garner has obtained a court order protecting herself from Steven Burky, a man who has been stalking her for the last six years as the “reincarnation of the prophet Enoch.” You know, Noah’s great-great grandfather in the Bible. According to TMZ

In her declaration, Garner says “Mr. Burky has been stalking and harassing me,” sending “packages and letters containing delusional and paranoid thoughts and following me around the country… since 2002, but in the last year his obsessive and harassing behavior has escalated to the point of becoming dangerous and threatening.”

Burky has shown up at her home and said, “God has sent him a vision of [Garner] being persecuted in some manner that may result in her death.”

Garner says she fears for herself, husband Ben Affleck and daughter Violet. She also says “I am currently pregnant and fear for the safety of my second child once born.”

We’ve learned the LAPD has taken the threat seriously and has [placed] Burky is currently under a 5150 psychiatric hold.

Well, of course they did. He’s “Enoch.” Pfft. No wonder Jennifer wouldn’t give him a second glance. Look, if you want your one true love to take your delusional rants seriously, you need to go with someone a little more prominent. Say, “Jesus” or “Santa Claus.” And then show up at her door wearing her dead dog like a hat and a pair of her high heel shoes you stole off the set of Alias six years ago. It’s all about presentation, people. You only have one chance to make a first impression. Remember that the next time you’re chasing a stranger across the country to warn her about your death visions and Biblical incarnations. Otherwise you’ll never make it to second base.

Read his deranged letters here.

Jennifer at the Farmer’s Market with daughter Violet last week:

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By now you know that the body of former “American Idol” contestant Paula Goodspeed was discovered in a car Tuesday night in front of Paula Abdul’s Los Angeles home. To recap:

The 30-year-old “extreme fan” auditioned for Season 5 of the hit show in 2006.

Godspeed [had a] longtime obsession with Abdul. She is believed to have died from a drug overdose in… an apparent suicide.

Curiously, this wasn’t the first time Paula Godspeed attempted to kill herself in front of Paula Abdul’s home. Practice makes perfect, I guess. TMZ says

Paula Goodspeed overdosed in the exact same area around one year ago. Cops were called to Paula Abdul’s house — either late last year or early this year — and found Goodspeed inside her car, unconscious from a drug overdose.

Sources say Goodspeed suffered from “extreme mental illness” that spun out of control in the last two years.

This must be so bizarre for Paula Abdul. It’d be like looking in a mirror and seeing what you could have become were it not for undeserved fame and fortune — delusional, dressed like a gypsy, the butt of countless jokes. It’s like if Dorian Gray and the Ghost of Christmas Future had a baby, and then beat the baby and gave it to the schizophrenic sewer penguins to raise. Paula Abdul — this could have been your life!

Earlier we learned about Beyonce’s new album, I Am…Sasha Fierce, but did you know that Sasha is also her on-stage alter-ego? Uh huh. Beyonce has reached that pinnacle of self-important diva-hood that her ego can no longer be contained in one body. Usa Magazine reports,

“I have someone else that takes over when it’s time for me to work,” she tells Reuters. “When I’m on stage, this alter ego that I’ve created kind of protects me and who I really am.”

She adds, “Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I’m working and when I’m on the stage.”
The singer, 27, has said there are “things I do when performing I would never do normally.”

As “Sasha,” she recently told October’s British Marie Claire, “I have out-of-body experiences. If I cut my leg, if I fall, I don’t even feel it. I’m so fearless, I’m not aware of my face or my body.”

Oookay, freakazoid. That might fall under the category of “Not to Share”. I also believe alter-ego is another word for “being high on psychotropic drugs”, but that’s totally speculation. I suggest testing her theory by throwing a nice roundhouse kick to the face the next time she feels fierce. Any takers?

Beyonce at the 2008 MTV Europe Music Awards, wearing C-3PO’s hand