After seeing these pics of Rihanna performing at the O2 Arena in London yesterday, I totally understand why parents say she’s a terrible role model. You’re supposed to wipe front-to-back. She’s gonna send preteen girls down a pathway that leads to nothing but urinary tract infections and stinky vulva. And you know who loses then? Society.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

I’m so glad there’s some artists left in the music industry that don’t depend on stupid costumes and shock value to entertain their fans at concerts. Rihanna, however, is not one of them. I’m getting a weird tranny vibe here, especially with the penis envy deal going on here and the stupid red Cletus hair. What’s the microphone doing down there, anyway? Is her camel toe gonna whistle a tune? Because that’s what I would call entertainment.

Showing Canadians some American beaver in Toronto:

Disaster was averted this past Friday by a heroic pair of underpants when Paris Hilton’s Cave of Horrors tried to unleash its curse upon an unsuspecting nightclub crowd in France. No one was hurt, but unfortunately the brave wisp of fabric was badly burned in the fray as it blocked the malodorous, caustic fumes from spreading.

Paris, Nicky Hilton and Doug Reinhard killing the last 3 brain cells they collectively share:

I posted a link about the “So You Think You Can Dance” vagina flasher in the quickies today, but TMZ only had the one disappointingly censored picture of Contestant #22036′s crotch. There’s where I step in with a full sixteen seconds of slow motion audition video of what may or may not be a black person, possibly a Pacific Islander, flashing the judges as she wallows in the floor. Granted, she could just be wearing a brown thong or cursed with the kind of booty fat that hangs down low and gives the appearance of being labial in nature. I don’t know. I’ve watched it three times now and I still don’t see it. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t keep trying! That’s just my strong work ethic for you.

Paris Hilton flashed her black panties from the back of the car as she left Punk nightclub in Soho last night. I’m sure you’re as shocked as I am! Not but the crotch-baring, but by the fact her panties aren’t a blend of irradiated teflon, PVC and tyvek held together with heat-sealed Thermo bond seams. I figured that regular cotton panties would have burned up on first contact!