Think you’re close to your dad? I bet you aren’t as close as Robert Pattinson is to his dad. And by “close”, I mean, “watching people in fetish clothing have sex in front of you while you both sport boners” kind of close. Yeah, I didn’t think so.  The Sun says,

The 25-year-old Twilight star, nicknamed R-Patz, visited Berlin’s infamous KitKatClub in a bid to escape adoring fans’ attentions as he shot his new flick Bel Ami in the city.

Guests there are banned from wearing “normal” clothes.

Instead they are encouraged to don garb such as nipple clamps, metal cage dresses and leather thongs.

Yet when dad Richard heard he’d been there, he revealed he was gagging to visit the sex club with him.

R-Patz, who shot to worldwide fame in 2008 as telepathic vampire Edward Cullen in the Twilight movies, said: “I was telling my dad about it last night and he sounded really into it.

“He told me, ‘I’m coming over — let’s go to the orgy club’.”

The actor revealed he would have no problem visiting the X-rated spot with his dad as he was so close to his family.

He confessed: “They are the only people I really let rip on.”

I’m not really sure what that means since I’m not British and so I don’t speak snaggle-tooth, but I find it discomfiting to think of hanging out with your dad amidst a crowd of strangers decked out in nipple-clamps and ball gags. My dad taught me that that sort of thing should be done in the privacy of your living room, and only in the company of trusted friends like the Williamses, Carmichaels and Villegas. Otherwise it’s just plain immoral.

At the premiere of “Bel Ami” with Christina Ricci and Holliday Grainger:

Elton John is a first-time  father at the age of 62, which means that when the kid’s 18, Sir John will be a tottering 80-year-old and most likely dead before he gets to see any grandchildren. But congratulations, man! I’ve never been one to rain on anyone’s parade! Says MSNBC:

Sir Elton John is holding close a new tiny dancer.
The piano man and husband David Furnish have become parents to a 7-pound, 15-ounce baby boy born on Christmas Day. The news was first reported Monday night by USMagazine.com and confirmed to The Associated Press by John’s Los Angeles-based publicist.
Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John was born in California via a surrogate, whose identity is being protected by the new parents.
Zachary is 62-year-old John’s first child with the 48-year-old Furnish. The couple married in 2005.
In a joint statement, the new parents told USMagazine.com that “Zachary is healthy and doing well” and they are “overwhelmed with happiness and joy at this very special moment.”

The cool part about little Zachary having two daddies is that he’ll never have to hear an argument of how Daddy wasn’t very supportive of Mom during the labor and instead spent the time cavorting with Kandi the stripper at Kittens Gentlemen’s Club. Don’t even get me started on that.

Adam Lambert wants you to know that his father is totally cool with his son’s simulated oral sex and S&M-laden shitty performance at the American Music Awards. Don’t you wish your dad was that hip and with it? MTV.com goes on,

The “Idol” runner-up also took some time to clear up rumors that have been floating around about him. “I haven’t started a makeup line. I might, but I haven’t yet,” he said. “My father was rumored to be mortified by what I did [at the 'American Music Awards'] and that we’re not speaking. That’s a rumor. … I think Bill O’Reilly perpetuated that. Lovely man. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion. [My dad and I] were laughing about it … so that was a rumor.”

Dad’s a real pal. I bet he washes his butt plugs for him and everything.

Here he is at the Z100 Jingle Ball, looking like a complete tool.