The year-end list-making frenzy is eating the innerwebs alive right now, but I know how you pervs operate so the only list we’re going to pay any attention to is the Daily Mail’s list of Most Desirable Celebrity Bodies.  From People:

While there remains no shortage of Hollywood starlets whose stick-thin frames continue to appear in magazines and on the red carpet, it seems now more than ever ordinary women are tiring of the look — and the possible extreme measures it takes to achieve that near-impossible standard. A recent survey, which polled 2,000 women aged 18 and over, found that stars with curvier, healthier figures were more desirable, reports the UK’s Daily Mail.  Could the era of too-too-skinny starlets be coming to an end?

I don’t agree with everyone on this list, but the top three — Kate Winslet, Kelly Brook and Halle Berry — are inarguably beautiful, and it certainly would be nice if people would quit trying to convince us that looking like an emaciated refugee or a cartoon character is sexy.  Kate Moss looks like she died at least four years ago, and that’s more “hot mess” than actually hot.  Katie Price isn’t scrawny, but she’s so shiny and orange and plastic and I just want to dress her up and put her in funny poses in shop windows.  I love Victoria Beckham because she’s delightfully insane, but let’s face it, she’s a bony alien with basketballs bolted to her chest and I don’t think that’s sexy.  So for the most part, I think this is actually a pretty good list.

The Daily Mail’s list of Most Desirable Bodies:

1. Kate Winslet (16% of votes)

2. Kelly Brook (15%)

3. Halle Berry (12%)

4. Cheryl Cole (10%)

5. Beyonce (6%)

6. Megan Fox (5%)

7. Lily Allen (4%)

8. Keeley Hazell (2%)

9. Kate Moss, Katie Price, and Victoria Beckham (tied at 1% each)

You better not ever, ever make fun of Kate Winslet, or she’ll go and sue you for forty grand and somehow win. The technical legal term for said phenomenon is “crybaby puss.” According to Us Magazine

On Tuesday London’s High Court awarded the actress 25,000 British pounds (about $40,000 in American currency) in libel damages from the Daily Mail [for their] January article entitled “Should Kate Winslet win an Oscar for the world’s most irritating actress?” which she said “hurt and embarrassed” her. [The article also] claimed that Winslet, 34, lied about her exercise routine.

In a statement, Winslet said, “I was particularly upset to be accused of lying about my exercise regime and felt that I had a responsibility to request an apology in order to demonstrate my commitment to the views that I have always expressed about body issues, including diet and exercise. To suggest that I was lying was an unacceptable accusation of hypocrisy.”

Back in grade school, we had the remedy for this sort of tattletale-type behavior. It was called “the purple nurple” and “the swirly.” Too bad she’s no longer bound by the rules of afternoon recess.

Kelly Brook topless in her debut performance in “Calendar Girls,” because we’ve already seen (NSFW) Kate Winslet’s tits, and frankly, (NSFW) they’re disgusting:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin