I’m assuming more than a few of you have subjected yourselves to those heinous Twilight books, and thus are aware of the fact that New Moon is, by far, the worst book in the whole series (which is seriously goddamn saying something, since every page you read of those books will make you exponentially dumber).  For those who had the sense to stay far, far away from the books but still wish to suffer, it’s your lucky day!  Here’s the new, extended trailer for New Moon:

Vampires and werewolves and retards, oh my:

I’ve been ignoring this whole Runaways movie business for awhile, hoping it would just magically disappear.  I’m not sure precisely where the flaw was in my master plan, but things went awry at some point and the movie version of The Runaways starring Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning is still happening.  Stewart and Fanning are currently undergoing “vocal training” in preparation for their roles as Joan Jett and Cherie Currie, respectively.

I’m pretty sure that if you got a chimpanzee messed up on meth and put it on rollerskates with letters stuck to the wheels and then sent it skidding out into an oil slick, it could probably manage to stamp out a better idea than a movie starring a stoner Twilight retard and the little girl from Charlotte’s Web as the kickass chicks who sang “Cherry Bomb” and “Queens of Noise”.

Dakota Fanning arriving at a studio for voice lessons whilst playing dress-up in big girl shoes:

Kristen Stewart with her hair newly dyed black and cut in Joan Jett’s trademark shag:

The 40th Annual NAACP Image Awards were last night.  I have no idea if they were televised, because I still have the flu and I spent my evening raging with fever, hoping that I might die in my sleep and find an end to my suffering.  Alas, I woke up this morning still nine kinds of alive and still feverish, cursing every god I’ve ever heard of.  I am not remotely in a good mood, so buckle your chin straps, bitches.  Today might be a little bumpy.

Another red carpet, more ladies in dresses…

Rosario Dawson (oooh, pretty):

Halle Berry (drink her in before she shaves her head for Nappily Ever After):

Dakota Fanning (I guess she’s a Strong Black Woman now since she did The Secret Life of Bees):

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The People’s Choice Awards were last night, and I’m sure like a vast majority of Americans, I was not watching. Fortunately for us, lots of pictures were taken so we can critique them at our leisure. People Magazine was on hand to record the happenings.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie clearly have the people’s vote.

The two were among the big winners at the 35th Annual People’s Choice Awards Wednesday night at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles. Pitt was named favorite leading man at the ceremony, while Jolie was voted favorite female action star.

While neither accepted their honors in the flesh, plenty of stars – including Carrie Underwood, Katherine Heigl and the hosts of Dancing with the Stars (winners of the favorite competition/reality show) – collected their trophies in person during the two-hour ceremony which was hosted by Queen Latifah.

I know you really don’t care about who won what, so let’s move on to the important stuff, shall we? Here’s a sampling of who attended last night:

Dakota Fanning:

Annalynne McCord:

Teri Hatcher:

Carrie Underwood:

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