In case you didn’t think the new G.I. Joe movie sucked hard enough, “star” Channing Tatum is bringing a new kind of shame to the the table — the naked kind. Best served warm and in your face! Us Magazine says

[We have] obtained a video of Channing Tatum, 29, dancing in a Chippendales-style revue called “Male Encounter” in 1999.

Then 18, the star performed under the alias Chan Crawford.

He was so impressive [during his year-long stint in a now-defunct Florida nightclub] that he caught the eye of a female casting agent who put him in Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs” music video.

So from all-male review to Ricky Martin’s casting couch. How’s that for climbing the proverbial ladder? Jacob’s ladder (NSFW), that is. I’d say any ladder having to do with some dude’s freshly shorn ball sack is probably a safe bet here.

Look at these pictures and tell me this guy’s not gay:

Hi there guys, it’s Sonya, and I’ll be filling in for Abby this week, so to start things off–I know you’ve been wondering what Katie Holmes has been up to. No? Well, I have. I was going to Google her to see what’s new, but that was on my to do list after “purify my soul with self-flagellation”, and well, I just didn’t get around to it. What can I say, it’s summer and I’m feeling a bit unrepentant. Which is fortunate that Digital Spy has already taken care of that for me.

Katie Holmes has been described by her choreographer as a “brilliant dancer”, it has emerged.

The 30-year-old actress has been confirmed to appear on the 100th episode of Fox’s So You Think You Can Dance on July 23.

Holmes, who is expected to channel Judy Garland, will help aid her nonprofit organisation, the Dizzy Feet Foundation, with her song-and-dance number on the show.

Choreographer Mia Michaels told People: “She’s really blossoming into a gorgeous triple-threat star.

“So, I’m excited. I saw clips of it and it’s brilliant!”

Well, duh. That’s a given. If a Stepford Wife can’t bust out a mean robot dance routine, I don’t know what this world’s coming to. And if she’s “channeling Judy Garland”, I hope that means that Tom Cruise won’t be expecting to get a set of ruby slippers out of this.

Katie “Mrs. Roboto” Holmes, handler and spawn at the Australian stage production of ‘Jersey Boys: The Story of Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons’ at the Princess Theatre….snore

Singer Justin Timberlake teamed up with Andy Samberg as Beyonce’s back-up dancer on this weekend’s Saturday Night Live. This goes against everything I believe in, but just watch the sketch. I promise you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Not by Justin’s heels and leotard, which I expect is pretty much the standard when he’s off camera, but by his performance. Justin was actually sorta… funny. I don’t know what to make of it. It’s like that time when I was eight and I found out where babies came from. It just seems wrong. Perverse, even. Or that time I learned that there were more white people on welfare than black people. Statistically speaking, impossible. But then you find yourself starting to crack a smile, maybe even a little laugh or two. I honestly couldn’t have been more surprised if he pulled up his skirt and revealed that “Justin” was actually the clever masquerading of two midgets stacked on top of each other like in old-timey cartoons.