More of Michael Lohan’s phone tapes were released this week containing a conversation between him and ex-wife Dina in which she claims that daughter Lindsay was secretly dating Heath Ledger when he died. Radar Online says

In the recorded audio tape of a phone conversation between Dina and Michael Lohan, Dina says, “She was dating Heath when he died. I don’t know if you know that, but I know cause I would drop her off and they were friends, very very close, ok? [His death really] f—d her up.”

Dina told Michael about the relationship because she was afraid for Lindsay’s life too: “When she’s drunk or takes an Adderall with it [I'm afraid] she will do something like Heath Ledger did in a second without thinking,” adding, “She cannot be alone… [she's an] irrational person who has a problem with her DNA and alcohol and Adderall and asthma and every other things she’s got wrong with her.”

Well, Heath Ledger’s overdose is starting to make a lot more sense now. You could jack off a hairless chihuahua in front of your grandmother while taking it up the ass from a fat guy in a gimp mask and still not experience as much shame as you would after spending the night with Lindsay Lohan. I’m actually surprised that Ryan Adams, Benicio del Toro, Joaquin Phoenix, Adam Levine, Leonardo DiCaprio, Brett Ratner, Brody Jenner, Stavros Niarchos, Jamie Burke, Harry Judd, Hayden Christensen, Harry Morton, Rhys Ifans, Calum Best, Johnny Knoxville, Jared Leto, Wilmer Valderrama, Shaun White, Jude Law, Sean Penn, Gerard Butler, Ben Holz, Tony Allen and various others haven’t taken their own lives yet. I guess being drunk to the point of blackout helps you convince yourself it never happened.

Lindsay Lohan was photographed going into Leonardo DiCaprio’s house late Saturday night, refueling rumors that the two of them might be having a fling. Back in February of this year, Rush and Molloy said

Lindsay Lohan was working her charms [on] Leonardo DiCaprio Tuesday night at a West Hollywood club. Lohan made her way over to the table where Leo was partying with Kevin Connolly and Lukas Haas. “She was very flirty with Leo,” says our spy.

If it’s true, then Leo went from tapping supermodel kitty like this and this to a big ol’ pile of genital slop that’s housed more penis than Andy Dick at a Village People convention. That’s like trading in your Porsche for a monkey-drawn wheel barrow and your yacht for an inner tube mounted with an oscillating fan. Welcome to rock bottom, Leonardo DiCaprio. Some of us have been living here most of our adult life.

Hiding her face arriving at Leo’s house — and hiding it again on the way out Sunday morning:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Justin Timberlake’s gone puss-swapping — he’s supposedly dumping girlfriend of three years Jessica Biel for singer Rihanna. Star Magazine says

After a hot grinding session at 1Oak’s MTV Video Music Awards bash in NYC, RiRi and JT moved to her hotel room, where they had a steamy, private after party! “Rihanna and Justin have been talking and texting on the phone nonstop since the VMAs,” said a source.

“Then at [the studio where the two are working on Rihanna’s new album], Justin was joking about strippers. He said she needed to entertain him like that. So Rihanna gave him an impromptu lap dance!”

Justin has made it clear he is 100 percent into Rihanna, and she equally feels the magnetic attraction, says a source. “She is a total tease and loves flirting with him. She digs him and wants to date him too!”

Well, as long as he doesn’t bash her face in or bite her, he’s already doing better the last guy. That’s the great thing about battered women. They set the bar so low!

Rihanna in Venice:

It’s been one week since their divorce was finalized, so of course Amy Winehouse and ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil are now secretly dating again. The two met up at a bar (surprise, surprise) on Friday before Blake burrowed his way through the back window of her home the next day. The News of the World says

The singer later decided to ask Blake back to her place - but had to sneak him past her security first.

“Amy has two full-time security men at her house,” said the friend. “They were under strict instruction not to let Blake in. But Amy wasn’t having any of it, so she got him in through a back window so they could have some private time together.

Blake spent part of the night in… Amy’s bedroom. She’s being very secretive about it but we know he was there.”

The pal added: “He wants to be with her, he’s in love with her, he’s convinced they’re still meant to be together. Despite everything she’s said about him over the last couple of weeks, deep down she feels the same way.”

Oh, it’s just like Romeo and Juliet, isn’t it? If “Romeo” meant “dog” and “Juliet” meant “to its own vomit.” Someone should really bust out the iambic pentameter and write a play about it.

Amy headed to — where else? — court last month:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin

Jennifer Aniston’s massive spread in next month’s Elle magazine is accompanied by her infamous self-proclaimed-perennially-lovelorn-poster-child-for-failed-relationships interview, but all that’s about to change. And then inevitably come crashing down around her. Nine MSN says

Jennifer Aniston isn’t wasting any time crying over what might have been — she’s too busy pashing Gerard Butler on the set of her new movie… after the cameras stopped rolling!

A source on the set of The Bounty Hunter has spotted Jen and her co-star stealing kisses and acting “lovey dovey” between takes while shooting a fight scene.

The source also claims the pair have been regularly sneaking off to Jen’s trailer together and trying their hardest to keep the romance under wraps.

I don’t speak Australian, but “pashing” must be down under slang for “staring at him while he sleeps while rubbing her uterus with a Loa Serpent charm and the afterbirth of a formerly pregnant ewe.” It’s a very rich and colorful language.

Bonus pics of her throwing popcorn at her new boyfriend on the set of “The Bounty”:

It looks like Trace Cyrus, Miley Cyrus’ unfortunate-looking brother, got thrown in the inbred end of the gene pool, but apparently that does it for some girls, like saccharine sweet Disney trick-turner Demi Lovato. NineMSN claims the two are a couple:

Miley Cyrus’s rocker brother Trace certainly does have a weakness for his sister’s Disney pals. First he declared his love for Vanessa Hudgens, claiming he was way hotter than her squeaky clean boyfriend Zac Efron, and now he’s fallen for Disney darling Demi Lovato… and she’s fallen for him!

The unlikely couple have made it all public via some flirty messages on Twitter.

“@ddlovato you don’t realize how excited I am! My tour manger is bookin my flight now! Your all I’ve thought about ever since I left town. <3″ Trace wrote to Demi.

To which Demi responded: “@tracecyrus soon! I’m so excited!!!! <3″
And just to make things super-official, this morning Miley Cyrus Twittered her blessing for the new couple! “I miss @tracecyrus he is the best big brudder ever!!! I reallllyyyy realllyy miss @ddlovato! These 2 are the best! Couldn’t live without em!”

Well now, doesn’t that just make you want to barf rainbows? No, seriously. I was eating Fruity Pebbles when I read that twatriffic piece of drivel and it all came back up. I think Trace’s soft pink nipples are going to haunt my dreams.

With his band Metro Station at TRL MTV in Milan, Italy.

I already told you about this four months ago, but it’s finally being confirmed — Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez are dating. Page Six says

The blond actress was photographed at Friday’s game, cheering on the Bronx Bombers at the new Yankee Stadium.

But the real action came later that night at Mustang Grill on Second Avenue… [when a] bartender at the Southwestern joint “[asked] patrons not to go in the back room around 1 a.m. because A-Rod and Kate Hudson were back there making out.”

One staffer at the restaurant confirmed the two were there celebrating… although she did not witness any lip-lock herself.

The two were [also] spotted over the weekend outside the glamorous 15 Central Park West, where A-Rod rents an apartment.

For the record, making out with a guy in the back of a bar does NOT mean you’re dating him. It just means he picked up the tab. Am I right, ladies?

At the Costume Institute Gala earlier this month:

Maybe she’s tired of being pedophile fodder. Maybe she’s tired of all the dirty, dirty things Justin Gaston wants her to do and the burning and itching afterwards, but word from the rumor mill is that Miley Cyrus wants to go back to her old boyfriend, the virginal Nick Jonas. NY Daily News reports,

“Miley and Nick want to get back together,” our source tells us. “Because they’re working together [on a new video], they’ve been put in close proximity to each other. They’re now spending more and more time together, and they’re constantly on the phone.”

When the two were photographed together on a lunch date at L.A.’s Village Idiot in mid-April, Miley laughed off rumors of a romance, using the “just friends” chestnut.

But do friends kiss and cuddle? When the two get together these days, their relationship hardly seems platonic. Says our insider, “Miley was over at the Jonas house recently, and they were smooching. Nick’s parents have this rule that when a girl is over, the door has to be open, but that didn’t stop Nick and Miley from making out.”

I’m still betting that Miley ends up either pregnant or in rehab by her 18th birthday. Maybe if her dad didn’t spend so much time styling his hair he could do something about that, but somehow I don’t see that happening. Man looks like a freaking Maltese dog.

Miley and Daddy Dearest at the UK Premiere of Hannah Montana: The Movie

Hi guys, it’s Sonya today. Abby is launching an assault on the department of transportation, so be sure to watch for her on the news. In the meantime, check out wackadoo Lily Allen and her trap running on autopilot again. Seems that (shocker) she doesn’t like the media attention surrounding her love life. Now Magazine dishes,

‘I’ve had a couple of times when I’ve got to know someone over a few weeks and we’ve had a really great time here, just watching TV and shagging,’ she says.

‘And then I get paranoid because I get like, “I don’t want to leave the house with you, because I don’t want us to be photographed together and for us to suddenly have to justify our relationship, when we don’t know what it is yet.”’

Lily, 23, also worries boyfriends might sell their stories.

‘If I meet someone who’s not part of the showbiz industry, I think, “Should I sleep with this person?”‘ she tells Observer Music Monthly. ‘Are they going to walk out of here and be straight on their phone?”

‘Or you feel, “Oh – it’s gone naff,” because they’re secretly enjoying having their photo taken.

‘I guess that’s why people go out with famous people, but there aren’t any that I really fancy.’

Okay, I have no idea what “naff” is supposed to mean. But I suppose if you happen to look like a second-trimester fetus you might have an innate fear of someone coming in your cozy little world and vacuuming you into a sink.  Makes sense, really.

Arriving at LAX for a flight to Japan, looking bedraggled. Yes, this is before the flight.

I guess the magic only lasts about four months — former Girl Next Door Holly Madison has split with Mindfreak douchebag Criss Angel. According to E! Online

“She was very much in love with him, and they’re still very close friends,” [says] a source. “It was a conflict of schedules. She felt she couldn’t devote 100 percent of her time in Vegas and his career at the expense of her career and her goals.”

The 29-year-old Madison and 41-year-old Angel had been [living together in Vegas] since December, but the Playboy pinup recently moved back in with family.

Oh, don’t you worry your pretty little heads about that. He’ll find some way to win her back, you’ll see. Maybe a new shade of eyeliner. Deep plum instead of black. And one of those gothic mani-pedis and some new Oscar Blandi texturizing paste and a little more layering around the face. Hell, maybe this time he’ll even invest in one of those “penis” things Holly was always rambling on about. Drastic times call for drastic measures!

Happier times at the “Repo: The Genetic Opera” premiere:

Now that she’s done bumping vaginas with Marilyn Manson, 21-year old Evan Rachel Wood has moved on to greener greasier pastures — 56-year-old actor Mickey Rourke. Fox News says

The two attended Grey Goose’s Official SAG after-party at the Shrine on Sunday evening but were spotted leaving together enroute to the later after party at the Four Seasons Hotel. The actress went upstairs with Rourke when he suddenly grabbed her for a lip-lock in the outside area of the swanky five-star hotel.

The duo have been romantically linked since she played his daughter in “The Wrestler,” although Wood always denied that they were anything more than friends.

You know, there are a lot easier ways of letting your parents know how much you hate yourself. My Chemical Romance and cutting, for example. Might want to look into that.

At the SAG awards:

Corky from “Life Goes On,” is that you?:

Anne Hathaway seems to finally be over her dirtbag ex-boyfriend Rafaello Folliieri — she was photographed sucking face with actor Adam Shulman last week. The Daily Mail says

Anne was spotted kissing her new man on the way to a photoshoot the day before the Golden Globes - leaving little doubt that the pair are lovers. The stylish brunette appeared happy and relaxed as she passionately embraced Adam before heading off.They clearly couldn’t keep their hands off each other as Anne, 26, cuddled up to Adam on her driveway.

You’d have to feel pretty good about your chances of scoring with Anne Hathway after somebody like Rafaello Follieri. As long as you’re not a kiddie-molestor or a nursing home rapist, you’re already a thousand times better than that guy. Even Somalian pirates and that Marine who kicked a puppy off a cliff never swindled old people while masquerading as an agent of the church. Like my dad always said, dignity is a real pussy magnet.

At the Palms Springs International Film Festival:

At the Critics Choice Awards: