It appears that Ashton Kutcher may have been a tad too cerebral for Demi Moore, because she’s been hitting up high schools greener pastures for an even younger stud in the hopes that nobody takes the sad old mare out back and shoots it already. Us Magazine says:
“She’s been really down, and she’s surrounding herself with young people to make her feel better,” an insider tells Us of Moore, who’s been obsessed for years with staying young and thin.
One of Moore’s favorite young stars to party with — and flirt with — is daughter Rumer Willis’s longtime friend Zac Efron, 24, a hunk nine years younger than Kutcher, 33.
A wired, gaunt Moore “tracked down” the High School Musical star at a party in L.A.’s Venice neighborhood, an insider tells Us. “She seemed out of her mind at this party.”
Well, it makes good financial sense for the two of them to start dating, really. Think of all the money they’ll save sharing their estrogen creams and hormone patches and hair products. Who’s a pretty girl? No, YOU are!
Like a paper cut to the taint of all things explainable, George Clooney’s ex-girfriend Elisabetta Canalis is now dating “Jackass” star Steve-O. You’ll remember Steve-O from such favorites as “Fart Mask” and “Butt Fireworks.” I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen the photo myself. TMZ says:
The mystery is over … Steve-O and Elisabetta Canalis are DEFINITELY more than friends … and yesterday they engaged in a little mouth-on-mouth PDA to prove it.
Going from George Clooney to Steve-O is like trading in your Lotus for a fucking rickshaw pulled by a one-armed blind man. I don’t know how something like this even happens. I’m guessing some sort of Russian mind-control drug or a partial lobotomy.
Cameron Diaz and P. Diddy claimed they were just collaborating on a movie project when they were caught having lunch together last month, but it looks like their little ruse is up, because Cammy D and Puff Daddy were spotted sucking face at PH-D bar in New York on Saturday night. Nine MSN says:
Cameron allegedly had dinner with friends in the hotel lobby before moving upstairs to the bar, where she was joined by rapper [Sean P. Diddy Combs].
Onlookers said Diaz and Diddy were “attached to each other all night… they were kissing and making out in a very affectionate manner” before leaving together at 3am.
I’m gonna give Cameron a free pass on this one. It was three in the morning and she’d been drinking since dinner. Eight hours’ worth of Long Island ice teas and you’d probably go home with Puff Daddy, too. Even if it was just to throw up in the back of the Benz directly on his Prada calfskin shoes.
Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively were photographed leaving his Boston apartment together early Saturday morning, leading many to speculate that they totally did it the night before. And if they’re doing it, they must be dating, at least according to everyone born before 1953. Us Weekly says:
The Gossip Girl actress has been spotted visiting Reynolds for three weekends in a row now in Boston, where the 33-year-old is currently shooting action flick R.I.P.D.
In addition to a sushi date, the pair was also spotted at Beantown’s South Station, where Reynolds was seen giving Lively an affectionate goodbye.
“They’re seeing each other casually,” a Lively source [said]. “Now they’re both single and trying it out.”
If you made the mistake of paying to see the Green Lantern, then you know exactly how little chemistry these two have. It’s all wet matches and cold tapioca. If I wanted to look at dry WASP-y love all day, I’d just live at home with my parents.
In what sadly is not the first of many boring non-stories today, Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lopez let it leak that they are officially “casually dating.” Which in turn finds us officially not giving a shit. TMZ says:
The two went on a dinner date in New York City last month. They had not been spotted out again until yesterday — when a photo surfaced of Bradley Cooper driving an SUV and a woman who certainly looked like JLo … covering her face in the passenger seat.
According to our sources, the woman in the photo is definitely JLo. Our sources say “they are definitely dating.”
I have lint in my dryer that’s more interesting than this crap. And I have a an uncle who wears daisy duke cutoffs and waxes his bikini line who’s less gay than Bradley Cooper. They really should have made this a story about me so we didn’t die of sheer boredom.
Derek Jeter and Minka Kellybroke up this past August after three years together, but it looks like they might be reconciling. The Daily Mail says:
The two were spotted at Morgans South Beach, ‘laughing and having a fun breakfast together,’ according to [a] source.
‘They met up to try and figure it out,’ one mole [said]. ‘They are trying to see what the future holds for them. They may eventually get back together. This was not some sort of final conversation and meeting between them.”
I really couldn’t give two shits about what the future holds for either one of them. I just wanted an excuse to put up these pictures of Minka Kelly. If it was all Lindsay Lohan teeth and Marion Cotillard nipples here I’d never see you again.
Lindsay Lohan met German designer Phillip Plein on Friday; on Saturday, she was his new muse and model; and by Sunday she was fucking him. Okay, I’m kidding about that last part. We all know she fucked him the first day she met him. The Daily Mail says:
[Less than 24 hours after meeting him], Lohan was revealed as the face of the 33-year-old German’s embellished designs and was modeling for him.
The pair have been tactile since they met at Milan Fashion Week [on Friday] but last night they appeared to share a lingering kiss, shielded by a body guard.
Wearing a slinky black dress from Plein’s new line, Lindsay became slightly disheveled and seemingly more amorous [as the night wore on].
The Mean Girls star hadn’t seen a stitch of Plein’s new line until Saturday. She admitted that the collaboration came about ‘spontaneously.’
But by Sunday, as she posed [in his clothes] at Lake Como, she said: ‘Something important to know about this collection is that its expressing something a little bit more edgy.’
Whatever. He’s a virtual no-name who just hitched his cart to her tabloid notoriety to get free press for his shitty clothes, and she’s a drug addict who just wants instant access to all his German coke dealer friends. It’s mutualistic symbiosis, but with more syphilis and stimulants.
Miranda Kerr in a bikini from an old GQ photoshoot, because I don’t wanna have to look at any more Lindsay Lohan today:
In case you weren’t entirely convinced that Bradley Cooper is gay, this ought to seal the deal for you. TMZ says:
Jennifer Lopez might be moving on from hubby Marc Anthony in a big way — because last night she went out on a date with Bradley Cooper.
The two hit up Per Se, a restaurant located at Columbus Circle in New York City. We’re told the dinner was “romantic” and was just the two of them.
Bradley Cooper is a sexy, stubble-y 36-year old man who could have any hot piece in Hollywood he wanted, yet he went for the thrice-divorced 42-year old mother-of-two in gigantic Spanx. And before her, it was Renee fucking Zellweger. If it were any clearer this man were gay, he’d be wearing ribbons in his hair and tossing handfuls of glitter as he pirouetted down the street.
After playing her pretend boyfriend in the video for “You & I” back in July, “Vampire Diaries” star Taylor Kinney is now playing real-life boyfriend to Lady Gaga. The Daily Mail says:
[Taylor and Lady Gaga] have been seen together on three consecutive days, starting with drinks at [a] seaside bar where Taylor lives on Sunday.
A patron said, “I couldn’t tell it was her at first. It just looked like some hot couple making out, but then I realized it was Lady Gaga. Everyone went nuts.”
The next day the pair were spotted holding hands while walking along Mission Boulevard… and on Tuesday they were seen at the beach.
Congratulations, Taylor. You just went from being That Guy from the Vampire Diaries to Lady Gaga’s Boyfriend. If it’s fame and notoriety you seek, it’s definitely a step in the right direction. But if it’s “being the only one with testicles” you’re after, then you should probably run like hell.
There have been rumors of a reconciliation for months now, but Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel were totally busted on like seven dates in the last week and a half. According to the Daily Mail:
The couple were spotted having a romantic dinner at Italian restaurant Enoteca Sociale in Toronto last night.
A day earlier, the pair took in the city’s sites on a bicycle ride.
It comes a week after they were seen spending time together at Martha’s Vineyard in New York.
They also traveled to the Hamptons last weekend for a few days before jetting to Toronto, Canada where they brunched together at the Swan.
I’m sorry — bicycle rides? Brunch? The Swan? I must have missed the part when Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake turned into an elderly gay couple. Next time I’ll pay more attention.
Ever since they did that one movie I never saw, people have been rooting for Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds to get together. She’s divorced, he’s divorced, and it turns out they both like going for long walks in the woods and predictable romantic comedies. You can’t deny the hand of destiny! TMZ says:
Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds hooked up for a friendly hike in the Wyoming wilderness — along with Sandy’s adorable son Louis Bardo.
Ryan carried Louis in a backpack during the nature walk through Grand Teton National Park last weekend.
The trio is vacationing in Jackson Hole with a few other friends.
It’s kinda hard to make out, but he’s got Sandra’s kid strapped on his back. And everybody knows carting around her kid is the ultimate aphrodisiac for a mother. You could have platters of oysters and caviar surrounded by a moat of chocolate next to a rose petal trail leading to a candle-lit bubble bath and it still won’t get you laid as fast as fifteen minutes of playing daddy to her baby. Sometimes the only strings you have to pull are in the back of a talking stuffed teddy bear.
His latest movie might have crashed and burned, but that hasn’t stopped the greatest actor of our generation Ryan Reynolds from snagging the super-sexy Charlize Theron with his legendary six-pack. Us Magazine says:
The Green Lantern star, 34, and Charlize Theron, 35, “have been dating for months! They’re exclusive, and it’s very hush-hush.”
While the two haven’t been photographed together, a witness noticed Reynolds’ motorcycle at Theron’s home all morning on June 5, then saw the actor exit her house around 3 p.m. — and she left just minutes later.
You know somewhere Charlize’s ex-boyfriendStuart Townsend is pounding protein shakes like a freshman during Greek Week and trying not to get tears all over his Ab Circle Pro.
Charlize with Zach Galifianakis on “Between Two Ferns”:
