After playing her pretend boyfriend in the video for “You & I” back in July, “Vampire Diaries” star Taylor Kinney is now playing real-life boyfriend to Lady Gaga. The Daily Mail says:
[Taylor and Lady Gaga] have been seen together on three consecutive days, starting with drinks at [a] seaside bar where Taylor lives on Sunday.
A patron said, “I couldn’t tell it was her at first. It just looked like some hot couple making out, but then I realized it was Lady Gaga. Everyone went nuts.”
The next day the pair were spotted holding hands while walking along Mission Boulevard… and on Tuesday they were seen at the beach.
Congratulations, Taylor. You just went from being That Guy from the Vampire Diaries to Lady Gaga’s Boyfriend. If it’s fame and notoriety you seek, it’s definitely a step in the right direction. But if it’s “being the only one with testicles” you’re after, then you should probably run like hell.
There have been rumors of a reconciliation for months now, but Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel were totally busted on like seven dates in the last week and a half. According to the Daily Mail:
The couple were spotted having a romantic dinner at Italian restaurant Enoteca Sociale in Toronto last night.
A day earlier, the pair took in the city’s sites on a bicycle ride.
It comes a week after they were seen spending time together at Martha’s Vineyard in New York.
They also traveled to the Hamptons last weekend for a few days before jetting to Toronto, Canada where they brunched together at the Swan.
I’m sorry — bicycle rides? Brunch? The Swan? I must have missed the part when Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake turned into an elderly gay couple. Next time I’ll pay more attention.
Ever since they did that one movie I never saw, people have been rooting for Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds to get together. She’s divorced, he’s divorced, and it turns out they both like going for long walks in the woods and predictable romantic comedies. You can’t deny the hand of destiny! TMZ says:
Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds hooked up for a friendly hike in the Wyoming wilderness — along with Sandy’s adorable son Louis Bardo.
Ryan carried Louis in a backpack during the nature walk through Grand Teton National Park last weekend.
The trio is vacationing in Jackson Hole with a few other friends.
It’s kinda hard to make out, but he’s got Sandra’s kid strapped on his back. And everybody knows carting around her kid is the ultimate aphrodisiac for a mother. You could have platters of oysters and caviar surrounded by a moat of chocolate next to a rose petal trail leading to a candle-lit bubble bath and it still won’t get you laid as fast as fifteen minutes of playing daddy to her baby. Sometimes the only strings you have to pull are in the back of a talking stuffed teddy bear.
His latest movie might have crashed and burned, but that hasn’t stopped the greatest actor of our generation Ryan Reynolds from snagging the super-sexy Charlize Theron with his legendary six-pack. Us Magazine says:
The Green Lantern star, 34, and Charlize Theron, 35, “have been dating for months! They’re exclusive, and it’s very hush-hush.”
While the two haven’t been photographed together, a witness noticed Reynolds’ motorcycle at Theron’s home all morning on June 5, then saw the actor exit her house around 3 p.m. — and she left just minutes later.
You know somewhere Charlize’s ex-boyfriendStuart Townsend is pounding protein shakes like a freshman during Greek Week and trying not to get tears all over his Ab Circle Pro.
Charlize with Zach Galifianakis on “Between Two Ferns”:
Since breaking up with Jessica Biel back in March, Justin Timberlake has been in Scarlett Johansson’s, Olivia Wilde’s and Ashely Olsen’s pants. Not to be outdone, Jessica Biel has been linked to Gerard Butler, Bradley Cooper and Colin Farrell. That’s a lot of mileage on the ol’ genitals right there, but not enough to keep Jessica and Justin from rekindling their four-year relationship. I guess that’s what Valtrex is for. Us Magazine says:
Timberlake, 30, and Biel, 29, are “quietly seeing each other again,” says a source. “They have been talking the whole time and decided to give it another shot. Jessica really wanted to get back together with him and Justin realized single life is not what it’s cracked up to be.”
On July 3, the couple shared pork tacos at the Black Hoof restaurant in Toronto. Another insider adds that for now, “they’re just spending time together and taking things slowly.”
Sorry, but pork tacos are not the meal of a man intent on long-term commitment. You’d be lucky to get anyone who’d eaten pork tacos to stick around longer than the requisite 8 hours it takes for processed meat byproducts to pass through the human digestive track. I’ve seen what’s on the other side of that coin, my friends. It sure as hell isn’t an engagement ring.
Jessica at the Vanity Fair Oscar party, because it’s the last time she’s looked sexy in the last six months:
I thought this was a photo of Zac Efron having his “High School Musical” co-star Ashley Tisdale get a bird’s eye view of his hair to better check for any unsightly split ends, but a photo of them kissing at her 26th birthday party has since surfaced, so I guess we’re supposed to think he’s not gay anymore. NY Daily News says:
The two stars have long insisted they are noting more than best buds, [but] in one of many hands-on moments, the 23-year-old Efron carried a bikini-clad Tisdale in his arms as he kissed her neck.
In another, the two exited the water together holding hands.
Not exactly family-friendly material, though that’s what Tisdale still claims they are.
“So happy zacary made it to my party,” she tweeted. “He’s my brother/best friend!!!”
The only time you can legitimately make out with your brother is if you’re a resident of West Virginia or Arkansas. They aren’t. You do the math. Unless you’re a resident of West Virginia or Arkansas, in which case math is largely considered a myth, like literacy and dentistry before it.
Fresh off her stint boinking that old dude with the pickled face, Scarlett Johansson is rumored to be doing the dirty with Justin Timberlake. How does Justin feel about old man sloppy seconds? Not too bad, apparently. Says Digital Spy,
Justin Timberlake and Scarlett Johansson have sparked rumors of a romance with a “touchy feely” public display.
The A-list pair were spotted sharing drinks at New York club Kenmare earlier this week and, according to The Sun, ended the night together at the Bad Teacher star’s apartment.
“They were very touchy feely and sat close to one another in a VIP booth along with a few other pals,” a source claimed.
“They hardly looked at their mates when they went to dance because they were so into one another. Contact seemed very natural to the both of them.”
Johansson is also said to have been spotted hitching a ride home with Timberlake’s driver the following morning, still wearing her party clothes.
Timberlake confirmed the end of his relationship to Jessica Biel back in March, while Johansson split with Sean Penn earlier this month.
It’s a good thing she broke up with Penn. I mean, it can really damage a girl’s sense of life and vitality when you start gettingcatalogs in the mail that have adult bibs and cushioned toilet seat covers. Trust me, I know. Don’t ask how I know. I just. DO.
On the set of The Avengers, once again proving the miraculous power of makeup and hairstylists:
Jennifer Aniston and new boyfriend Justin Theroux are already shacking up together less than a week after he dumped his girlfriend of 14 years. Us Magazine says:
“[Justin's] living at her place in L.A.!” an insider [says]. “And she’s introducing him as her boyfriend.”
39-year-old Theroux usually kept a room at Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont before taking up residence at Aniston’s [home].
And then there’s this little tidbit, from Radar Online:
Jen stepped out on the streets of New York Wednesday with Theroux — both wearing matching gold rings on their wedding fingers.
Strangely enough, in addition to the clunky, gaudy rings the couple were also wearing matching gold watches, and seemed keen to show off their baubles to the eager waiting paparazzi.
Ooh, matching promise rings! They must be serious, because now they’re engaged to be engaged. In imaginary relationship terms, that’s almost as good as being assistant to the regional manager.
Recently dumped Jessica Biel might be finding some solace in her “Totall Recall” co-star Colin Farrell’s pants. And possibly some chlamydia. The Daily Mail says:
Justin Timberlake’s ex has become close to her latest co-star, Irish bad boy Colin Farrell, while shooting the remake of action movie Total Recall in Toronto.
‘Jessica loves Colin’s accent and personality,’ says an on-set mole.
‘She’s completely over Justin, she’s having fun being single and thinks Colin is a blast. They’ve been hanging out between takes and go out after work.’
Gah, who cares? What a complete non-story. Colin would probably fuck a park bench if he were drunk enough and Jessica Biel hasn’t done anything remotely interesting since she took off her top for Gear magazine eleven years ago. Which, incidentally, I just happen to have right here. And suddenly this non-story just became a story! See, it’s all about literary form and journalistic technique. By which I mean “tits.”
I’m sure you’ve lost many a good night’s sleep this week wondering if Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez had really broken up. Well, worry no more, my friends — Cammy and A-Rod are on like Donkey Kong. And by no means is that a racist slur directed at Mr. Rodriguez. Page Six says:
Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz shared a romantic weekend in LA, despite recent reports the pair had split.
The Yankee slugger and actress looked cozy at Soho House on Sunday night at the MTV Movie Awards after-party. They were also spotted having lunch and holding hands at the club in West Hollywood on Thursday.
A source told us, “Alex has been staying with Cameron while the Yankees were in Anaheim.”
And furthermore, Cameron claims she’s an insatiable lover with a ravenous appetite for all kinds of dirty monkey love. EDITOR’S NOTE: That is also not a racial slur directed at Mr. Rodriguez. She told Britain’s the News Of The World (via the Daily Mail):
“Sex is my favorite sport. And what’s the quickest way to get me in the mood? I’m always in the mood!”
With that muscular physique, piercing eyes and a neck boasting sinews like riggings on a brigantine, there’s no denying the raw sexual appeal of such an impressive physical specimen. I’m talking about Cameron, of course. When it’s either have sex with her or arm wrestle her, the smart man picks the one that hurts less.
A lot of eyebrows were raised when Scarlett Johansson hit the Spike TV Guys Choice Awards red carpet last night with Sean Penn, because they supposedly broke up last week. So the big question* on everybody’s mind today: “Where the hell are her boobs?” It’s a freakin’ Spike TV Guys Choice awards show, for chrissakes! Would it kill her to show a little cleavage? Honestly!
* It may have been something about them dating again, now that I think about it. The Insider preview didn’t really say.
I was starting to actually like Justin Timberlake here lately, so I was relieved to find out that he’s been seen cavorting around town with Ashley Olsen so I could go back to hating him again. It’s what I do best. Us Magazine says:
One insider close to the pair (spotted together at the Greenwich Hotel, a Saturday Night Live afterparty, two Broadway shows and a polo match outside the city) [says]: “They are hooking up.”
Adds another source of the unexpected twosome, “They’re really trying to keep it on the down-low.”
Ashley Olsen is always dressed like someone who should be carrying around magic beans and leading a goat around town by the nose. Unless Justin Timberlake needs a hen that lays golden eggs and a sack of gold coins, he has no business dating someone this unattractive.
