Well, here it is in black and white, folks: David Copperfield is a dirty fucking rapist. According to the NY Daily News
A friend of the woman’s [said] “Copperfield invited [the woman in question] to a lavish party at his remote compound in the Bahamas, but when she got there, she discovered there was no party and no other guests. She wanted to go home right away, but David [said] she could leave the next day if she really wanted to. That night, Copperfield forced himself on her, holding her arms down on the bed, leaving her with terrible bruises. She told me she fought back, but that just seemed to turn him on more. After Copperfield had finished with her, [she used] her cell phone to take photos of the crime scene. In order to preserve physical evidence, she didn’t shower. The next day, she went back home to Seattle… and drove straight to the Harborview Medical Center, where medical personnel performed a ‘rape kit’ on her.”
Agents from Seattle’s FBI office later coordinated a sting operation with the woman – encouraging her to e-mail the magician and arranging a meeting in Vegas, according to the friend.
Movies like “The Prestige” and “The Illusionist” might have convinced you that magicians are totally cool and powerful, but I’m here to remind you they’re not. They’re huge queers like Criss Angel and that douchebag who locked himself in underwater bubble for a week. Blain? Bain? No matter. For all practical purposes his name should have been “Cum Stain.” Look, having millions of dollars and a show in Vegas doesn’t erase two decades spent as “Eliazar the Infernal Voice Third Level Elven Rogue” or an adolescence filled with purple nurples. It takes several years of hard drinking and a lot sex with prostitutes before you can really ever shake those shackles of dorkdom.
Here’s Jessica Simpson (with SNL alum Cheri Oteri) at the Frederick’s of Hollywood 2008 Spring Collection yesterday, because Jessica has nice legs and David Copperfield doesn’t: