Lindsay Lohan is so strapped for cash that she did the equivalent of a mobile garage sale: she packed up her “designer” clothes and sold them to a high-end thrift store. Can I get a “wah-wah-waaaaah“? Female First reports,

The 25-year-old ‘Freaky Friday’ actress is apparently so cash-strapped following numerous stints in rehab that she has decided to sell off her designer clothes and accessories.

A source told Now magazine: “Lindsay’s got zero income and a shed-load of bills.

“She’s so desperate for cash she took a truck load of designer clothes, shoes and bags to Los Angeles’ Crossroads Trading Company, who agreed a price of £8,770 for the lot.

“She needed a huge lorry to transport it all to the company’s head office.”

But she hopes to make a comeback with her role as Elizabeth Taylor in Lifetime movie ‘Liz and Dick’ – and has even ruled out dating while she gets her career back on track.

A source said: “Lindsay wants to devote all her spare time to reading the script and getting Liz’s persona down pat rather than focus on a new relationship.”

She also wants to put her troubled past behind her and regain the trust of the public and entertainment industry.

She said: “People can say things all they want, but I think I still need to go through the process of proving myself.

“I could see where it could be scary for people to invest in me. And I don’t want people to have that reason to be scared anymore.”

Next thing she’ll be doing is blowing truck drivers at gas stations. For cash this time, mind you. She probably does that currently for free.

Pretending that she has money to spend at Eva Fehren’s Jewelry Show in West Hollywood:

Whitney Houston’s will was officially filed in court yesterday, and as previously reported, ex-husband Bobby Brown doesn’t get jack shit — her estate will be going to her only daughter, Bobbi Kristina. Radar Online says:

The will is very straightforward and states that Whitney’s assets, real estate, jewelry, clothing and cars will all go to Bobbi Kristina. The money will be held in a trust until she turns 21.

The executors of the will and estate are Whitney’s mother, Cissy Houston, her brother Gary and her sister-in-law, Pat Houston.

She might have inherited what was left of her mother’s estate, but Bobbi Kristina won’t ever see any royalty checks from Whitney’s record company, thanks to the multiple advances and loans Whitney took from the $100 million deal she cut with Sony a decade ago. The Daily says:

Houston was out of cash in 2001 when she signed what was said to be a $100 million deal with Sony for six albums. While the agreement could have been worth $100 million if things had gone right, Houston only collected about $40 million. “It’s really an advance against sales. They loaned her the money, and her records didn’t sell,” a [label executive] explained.

Based on the meager sales figures, “She owes Sony at least $20 million… she’s going to have to sell 5 million more records before her family sees a dime.”

Inheriting an estate isn’t necessarily all that great, you know. You also inherit the debt and responsibility that come with it. And I’m sure it doesn’t help when the “investment portfolio” you’re inheriting is actually just a shoebox full of scratch-offs and a half-drunk bottle of Wild Turkey.

Spencer Pratt is finally doing what he should have done 10 years ago–go to college. If only he hadn’t bypassed getting an education to get a real job, we could’ve been spared ever hearing his God-forsaken name. Daily Mail says,

He once starred in the most popular reality show on TV, but Spencer Pratt is getting used to life as a Hollywood outcast.

The 28-year-old, once the confident and conniving villain in the MTV show The Hills’, has enrolled in a political science degree after conceding his television career is over. He was seen roaming the grounds of prestigious college University Of Southern California this week.

His wife and former Hills co-star Heidi Montag, who clearly has plenty of time on her hands following her own failed pop and TV projects, tagged along for support.

Their outing comes as it was reported this week that Spencer has a huge mounting debt and his agents are refusing to get him work.

According to Us Weekly, the villainous reality star owes many of his agents commissions to the tune of ‘hundreds of thousands of dollars’.

It was reported that Spencer is so unliked in the showbiz world, that his agents never answer him when he calls.

‘They just laugh at him or pick up and hang up,’ a source told the magazine.

But Spencer friends have told TMZ that the claims are untrue, the former reality star never had an agent in the first place.

According to sources, Spencer only ever hired a lawyer to negotiate his contracts for The Hills.
Heidi on the otherhand does have an agent, who is currently helping the blonde negotiate ‘a couple of projects in the works.’.

And it appears that she’s going to need it, as the couple are quickly running out of their short-lived fame and have tried anything and everything to hold onto it.

Last month, in an interview with the Daily Beast, they admitted their break-up, divorce petition and eventual reconciliation was all staged in a last-ditch effort to hold on to their fame.

I’m sure there’s more pathetic things in this world than Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, but I’m having a hard time thinking of any. Oh–I’ve got one. My dog who has a spinal cord injury, and lost the use of her hind legs. She has to drag her backside along the ground, and she’s also incontinent, so she leaves a poop-smear trail sometimes. I think she might be more pathetic than they are–but only by a smidgen. It’s a toss-up, really.

Kristen Stewart in Glamour magazine, because if I have to look at another picture of Spencer and Heidi, I might kill someone:

Lindsay Lohan has been coke-binging and compulsively shopping her way to Chapter 7-dom for the last four years, and now it’s come to light that she’s also thousands of dollars behind on her rent and staring down the barrel of eviction. Who knows — maybe she read Bizarro Dave Ramsey’s “How to Send Your Life Down the Shitter in Seven Easy Steps” and followed the instructions to the letter. Or maybe she’s just fucking retarded. According to Star Magazine:

The 23-year-old is $23,000 behind in rent on her Hollywood apartment, an insider [says]. “She’ll be evicted if she can’t pony up the cash. She’s [also] racked up more than $1 million in bills that creditors are demanding be settled immediately.”

Adding to her money woes, Lindsay is being sued by three men for a minimum of $25,000 in damages for allegedly hijacking their SUV while drunk in 2007.

Lindsay has resorted to selling off designer clothes, purses and jewelry that she received as freebies. Claims the insider, “She’s in complete financial ruin.”

Well, she’ll find a way to make it, even if it’s just by the hair of those chinny-chin-chins up there. Besides, you don’t need a roof over your head to suck a mean dick. Self-loathing and insecurity have kept my gag reflex suppressed for years.

Gisele Bundchen in lingerie because she only has one chin and 127,000 less miles on her:

Lindsay Lohan hasn’t had a real job since “Labor Pains” went straight to DVD two years ago, but it hasn’t stopped her from spending money like a drunken sailor on shore leave. According to Radar Online

“Lindsay owes credit cards $600,000,” a source [revealed]. “One card cut her off last week and it’s only a matter of time before all her other credit cards cut her off too.”

Lohan used to make a good chunk of change by doing club appearances, but the invites are becoming sparse and the starlet gets only from $5,000 to $10,000 at most.

“One credit card company is going to discuss a payment plan for Lindsay,” the source continued. “But if she doesn’t have the income and can’t make her payments, they are prepared to sue her.”

Fortunately, she can always fall back on mass-releasing a sex tape. It’s Lindsay’s financial ace in the hole, as it were. The real fun will be seeing just how many “aces” wind up in her “hole” once the video finally hits the internet.

At Coachella with her ratty-ass sister Ali:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Courtney Love’s life continues to sink ever further into her own self-made Hole of Suck. Look for her soon at bumming coins at your local gas station! Now Magazine explains,

Courtney Love’s crazy lifestyle is finally taking its toll. In a text to a friend, she said: ‘I’m f***ed now, dude. 
I have 120 bucks, my kid hasn’t had a decent meal and I’m getting evicted.’

The 45-year-old widow of Nirvana legend Kurt Cobain looked alarmingly haggard recently as she strolled near the New York Mercer Hotel, where she’s currently living.

Courtney has no means of paying her hotel bill after being denied access to the £750,000 trust fund set up for her daughter Frances, 17.

‘Courtney’s a complete shopaholic,’ says a source. ‘She’s been to counselling, but attended only one session. She’ll think nothing of blowing thousands like Michael Jackson did, but she hasn’t got his millions. She could end up on the street now.’

Last month, the ex-Hole singer revealed that she was living off the generosity of hotel staff, saying: ‘They’re the best staff in the world. When my bank account got frozen, we had $14.32 [£9] a week, so we lived off the kindness of strangers.’

It’s been revealed that Courtney owes £220,000 [$358,798] to American Express and is being sued by her security guards for missing payments totalling £38,000 [$61,974.20].

In April she employed ‘forensic accountants’ to track down and retrieve more than £19 million [$30 million] that she claims can’t be accounted for.

How exactly in holy hell do you misplace $30 million dollars? Like Oops, wonder what happened to my car keys, I’ve misplaced them. Except in this case, it’s like, Oops, I misplaced a fucking mountain of cash that probably weighs more than my drug-emaciated body. And therein lies the answer to the mystery. Congratulations, Courtney Love, you’ve had your hands on more money than the vast majority of us not-so-fortunate peasants will ever even get to look at, screwed up your life, probably ensured that your daughter will end up as fucked up as you, and blown your millions away on drugs and really bad clothes. I hope someone gives you a ribbon that says, “I Win at Sucking”.

Baywatch star Pamela Anderson is up to her big fake breast implants in unpaid bills and back-taxes. Star Magazine says

Pam owes more than $1.2 million to creditors, including construction companies she stiffed after they remodeled her five-bedroom Malibu Colony home last year!

[Pam owes] Bruder Construction company $674,043… in addition to liens from countless other construction companies, Pam also owes $252,360 to California’s Franchise Tax Board in unpaid income tax from 2007.

Well, she could always make a few bucks selling her own skin to reupholster car interiors. People are always in the market for good quality leather!