Shortly after announcing that Britney Spears had signed on to become a judge on X Factor, Fox revealed that former Disney star Demi Lovato would be joining her illustrious ranks as the fourth and final judge for the upcoming season. People magazine says:

Confirmation of their new roles was made Monday at the FOX upfronts in New York City.

“I’m so excited about this whole experience,” Spears, 30, said. “It’s going to be so much fun and so different from anything I’ve ever done. I’m ready to find a true star.”

“I am totally stoked to be here,” Lovato, 19, added. “I’m excited to represent my generation and I’m ready to find the winner.”

I think it’s clear why they went with Demi Lovato. The raw sex appeal. And I of course mean “raw” in the “inner thigh chafing” sense of the word. She’s about to Hulk right out of those pants she’s wearing.

Performing in Buenos Aires two weeks and 73 chalupas ago:

This is the best Demi Lovato’s looked since she got out of rehab and got all fat. I don’t know if it’s the angle or her position or what, but I’m inclined to believe I would in fact hit that. I know, I was just as surprised as you are.

At the Sheraton Hotel in Chile:

Demi Lovato tries to break free of her wholesome Disney image in these “provocative” images from photographer Tyler Shields. Seriously, if the best you can do is drag out the old “sucking on a lollipop to simulate fellatio” routine, then maybe it’s time to just hang up the camera. E! Online says,

This provocative yet alluring shot of Demi Lovato is one of many from her recent photo shoot with photographer Tyler Shields, who talked to E! News about his session with the “Skyscraper” singer that will be featured at his Beyond the Gates show at Imitate Modern in London starting Feb. 24.

[Shields says,] “I think people have a very specific vision of her. No one has seen her doing anything remotely sexy. But she’s a grown woman now, and she wants to be sexy and feel sexy, and she wants to have these pictures forever. Little kids eat lollipops. She’s not a kid anymore, but people view her that way. It’s like, ‘So if you’re going to view me as a kid, then here ya go.’ “

Slapping on a ton of makeup and overexposing the film does not make me forget the fact that she looks exactly like a younger version of HSN’s Colleen Lopez, which unfortunately, is about as unsexy as it gets. Unless of course, you are turned on by the ability to get a 3 stone baguette-cut Absolute ring on 3 Flexpays of $19.99, plus shipping and handling. I’m raising my hand on this one, just so you know. Getting a great deal makes me so fucking hot.

Even though she was too sad about her failed marriage to show up, Katy Perry was still the big winner at the 38th annual People’s Choice Awards last night. It still doesn’t explain why Demi Lovato’s wearing a lounge singer’s bejeweled quinceanera dress, but we’ll get to that in a minute. People Magazine says:

Perry was honored in five categories, as favorite female artist, tour headliner and for song of the year for “ET” with Kanye West, music video for “Last Friday Night” and TV guest star for How I Met Your Mother.

Among the other winners in the 43 categories, Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 2 took four awards – favorite movie, action movie, book adaptation and ensemble movie cast, although no stars from the film attended.

Other honorees included Ellen DeGeneres, Lea Michele and Demi Lovato, as well as favorite movie actress and actor Emma Stone and Johnny Depp.

I’m glad to see the tailor outside Castle Greyskull is still cranking out those built-in-breast-plate dresses so popular with the ladies on Eternia. This is why She-Ra’s dumpy overweight sister never made it into the cartoon.

For a complete list of winners, click here:

Nina Dobrev:

Lea Michele:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Demi Lovato accidentally snatched a wad of fake hair out of her cheap-ass weave (the 0:45 mark) while performing in Kansas City, Missouri over the weekend. I think the problem might have been the circumference of her upper arms. All that armpit fat probably threw off her trajectory.

Demi Lovato, who has struggled with an eating disorder and cutting, has finally found her ticket to self-worth and acceptance. No, it isn’t inner strength grown from the midst of challenge, but by displaying the two mounds growing on either side of her spray-tanned chest. Welcome to the real world, Demi!

At the Latin Grammy Awards in Las Vegas:

Since leaving rehab, Demi Lovato has pierced her nose and put on a good fifteen pounds, and now she’s gone and dyed that Jonas right out of her hair. The Daily Mail says:

The 19-year-old tweeted this picture of herself [with bright red hair] on Sunday saying: ‘Just woke up from a nap. Can’t believe I fell asleep before tweeting this. ’

A nose ring, a spare tire, and a crappy dye job. I’d say she’s well on her way to becoming a Dove spokesmodel at this rate.

Performing on Jimmy Kimmel as a brunette late last month:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

I see Kelly Clarkson finally found the perfect spokesmodel for her new lounge wear line, KC Casual.^TM Because you should be comfortable while chewing and swallowing!

Demi Lovato in L.A. yesterday:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Regular old teenagers are bad enough, but there’s nothing worse than a celebrity teenager. I hate celebrity teenagers with the fiery intensity of a thousands sun. The self-important twatterdom that comes with adolescence is so much worse once it’s been imbued with a sense of entitlement. Also, their music totally sucks. As do their award shows. The Daily Mail says:

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez put rumors of a split to bed last night as they shared a kiss inside the Teen Choice Awards ceremony in Los Angeles.

Selena, 19, won trophies for TV actress, female hottie and music group with her band The Scene.

[Justin] picked up four surfboard-shaped trophies as choice male music artist, male hottie, twit and TV villain for his ‘CSI’ guest starring role.

Teen’s choice for favorite movie was “Fast Five” and their favorite romantic comedy was Ashton Kutcher’s “No Strings Attached.” “Gossip Girl” and “The Vampire Diaries” are their favorite TV shows. It reads exactly like a page from the channel guide in the seventh circle of hell.

Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato, Justin Bieber, Rebecca Black and Avril Lavigne here; complete list of winners after the jump:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

(more…)

Demi Lovato has finally conquered those eating disorders and cutting issues that put her in rehab last year, and she’s ready to show the world what the new healthy Demi looks like in a bikini. She posted the above picture on her Twitter and wrote:

I’ve been working so hard to get healthy and fit.. I can’t believe I’m about to do this but I’m so excited… Here’s my bikini time body!

Wow. I can’t believe it, either. I didn’t even know you could mate an Oompa Loompa with a California Redwood. The last time I saw trunks that thick, they were still attached to a pachyderm.

Demi’s sister Dallas in some random slutty pics:

Demi Lovato alluded to having anorexia shortly after her release from rehab, but never actually revealed the reason she was there in the first place. There were rumors of binge drinking, cutting, drug use and assault, but the Sonny with a Chance star tells Seventeen magazine she was there for her “life-long” issues with an eating disorder. Us Magazine quotes her as saying:

“I don’t think there’s going to be a day when I don’t think about food or my body, but I’m living with it, and I wish I could tell young girls to find their safe place and stay with it.

There have been times when I definitely have been tempted to get rid of my dinner. I will deal with it for the rest of my life because it’s a life-long disease.

It’s very crucial that you get your feelings out, but don’t ever inflict harm on your own body because your body is so sacred. If you are going through that dark period, go to your family and closest friends. Don’t put yourself in danger.”

Oh, boo-fucking-hoo. Everyone has their own potentially fatal way of dealing with their problems. It’s called being a teenager. Starving yourself is just what rich white girls do when they’re too stuck-up to try Jack Daniels and anal in high school. Your loss, sister!

On her way to New Journey Eating Disorder Center in Santa Monica:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

The same hacker who’s gone after Vanessa Hudgens and released those nude photos has his sights set on a whole slew of other celebrities. They do realize that they wouldn’t have to worry about that if you know, they quit taking nude photos of themselves? Says TMZ,

TMZ broke the story … the FBI sat down with Vanessa Hudgens Wednesday for more than an hour to determine how her Gmail account got hacked.

We’re told 50 celebs had compromising photos and videos stolen by one group, and one of the ringleaders has his fingerprints on every job.

Our sources say the hackers’ primary motivation is the thrill and challenge of it all — not the money.

Law enforcement sources tell us the FBI is closing in on the hackers.

A further update reveals some of the names of those 50 celebrities:

We’ve learned the ring has hit the mobile and other devices of Jessica Alba, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato and Christina Aguilera. We’ve already told you the ring also stole pics and video from Vanessa Hudgens, Scarlett Johansson, Ali Larter, Busy Philipps, Miley Cyrus, Emma Caulfield, Addison Timlin and Renee Olstead.

I of course would never be involved in something so low as hacking into people’s electronic devices and stealing pictures. It’s just so impersonal. I prefer to dress in camo, stick leaves in my hair, climb a tree and use my high-powered telephoto lens camera to peep in celebrity houses. Anyone can sit behind a computer, but not everyone knows that sitting in a tree above a nest of fire ants isn’t a great idea. That’s real world experience, people!

Until some more of those nudie shots are released, here’s some pictures of Stephanie Seymour in a bikini: