18-year-old disgraced Disney star Demi Lovato says she has her fans to thank for getting her through rehab, and that’s why she had both her wrists tattooed in their honor. Not because it makes it easier to hide scars from cutting. That’s just a happy coincidence. The Daily Mail says:

On her left wrist says ‘Stay’ and on the right it says ‘Strong.’

There is also a small heart that she says represents the love of her followers.

‘I wanted to thank my fans in a way I know can never be forgotten,’ she said.

The starlet added that while she was receiving treatment for ‘emotional and physical issues’ in rehab, many of her fans tattooed hearts on their own wrists in solidarity for her.

It’s helpful to have words that remind you what to do tattooed on your most visible extremities. That way you never, ever forget. For instance, Grandma writes “Remember” on my left hand and “To Chew” on my right before I eat. I can’t tell you how many wads of un-chewed cold cuts she’s spared my windpipe with that little trick.

Our favorite little self-harming Disney starlet Demi Lovato is out of rehab just three months after she assaulted a back-up dancer in a crowded airport. People Magazine says:

The actress, 18, finished her prescribed treatment at a facility and is back home in L.A.

“She will continue to see doctors in L.A. who will help her work on the issues she confronted in treatment,” a source says. “For now, she is getting back to her regular routine and spending time with her family. She is so grateful to all of her fans for their support.”

While her future professional plans remain unclear, “Demi will continue to focus first and foremost on her well-being.”

When you’re an 18 year old cutter with self-esteem issues, the world’s practically your oyster. And by “oyster” I really mean “clam,” and when I say “clam” I mean it in the “inappropriate euphemism for female genitalia” sort of way, because we all know she’s gonna wind up naked on the internet. Trust.

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

Following in the skanky footsteps of Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus before her, some risque pictures of Disney star Demi Lovato pulling down her shirt and sticking her tongue in another girl’s face surfaced today. I don’t know what the hell’s going on at Disney here lately. At this rate, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised to see a video of the Imagination Movers gangbanging Daisy Duck before the year’s over.

It’s sounding more and more like Disney pukling Demi Lovato’s stint in rehab has less to do with her anger issues and a whole lot more to do with her substance abuse problem. The NY Daily News says:

“She was doing line after line [of cocaine] like a pro — and she was 17 at the time,” Texas college student Brian Payne told Life & Style magazine.

Payne [said] he witnessed the Disney Channel star snorting cocaine during a party [at the North Richmond Hills house of a friend following a concert in Dallas] last December.

Payne said he and the “Sonny With A Chance” star partied all night.

“I just remember her doing [cocaine] as if she had been doing it for a long time,” Payne said. “It didn’t seem like something new to her.”

The 18-year-old Lovato’s hard partying apparently continued right up to the point she checked into a treatment center last week.

But don’t let’s forget the boozing:

“Demi’s been on a tear lately. She’ll chug booze straight from the bottle,” a source close to Lovato [revealed].

“Since Joe dumped her, Demi’s been depressed and drinking a lot. It’s been hard for her to keep working so closely with Joe,” another unnamed source told Life & Style.

So she’s “coke-binging and boozing like a pro,” is she? I thought most people just referred to that as “Charlie Sheen.”

Wilmer Valderrama is all kinds of sucio, but somehow he gets a lot of barely-legal Hollwood ass. Case in point: he was drilling 18-year-old Demi Lovato before she was shipped off to rehab. According to Page Six:

Before the Disney star entered a [rehab] facility, Lovato introduced pals to the 30-year-old “That ’70s Show” star as her boyfriend.

“The two started seeing each other in May right after her breakup with Jonas,” a source on the tour said. “She would show us pictures of them together.”

There’s nothing creepy thirty year old men like more than a teenage girl with self-esteem issues and penchant for cutting. They’re like pervert catnip. I’m not the only one who’s seen Dateline NBC, right? This is usually the part where Chris Hansen busts in with his mock turtleneck and cameras rolling and Wilmer says he was only there because he was interested in buying the house.

The girl that Demi Lovato punched in the face before she hightailed it to rehab has managed to remain nameless and faceless — until now. Meet 21-year old back up dancer Alex Welch and her lovely black eye! The Daily Mail says:

The back-up dancer at the center of Demi Lovato’s airplane meltdown has been identified at red-head Alex Welch.

The 21-year-old appeared in season three of America’s Best Dance Crew with Beat Freaks.

And pictures taken after the incident have emerged showing Welch sporting what appears to be bruised eye.

Honestly, that chick had it coming. You can’t go around with hair like that and not expect people to punch you in the face. She might as well be wearing a giant bullseye.

Jessica Alba in the December issue of Elle UK (did I mention her topless cell phone pictures?), because her hair doesn’t inspire rage:

They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but that’s just because hell hasn’t met a teenage girl who’s just been dumped just yet. Believe me, they’re much worse. I know. I used to be one. And despite all the rumors of bulimia and cutting and drug use, the real reason Demi Lovato is in rehab is because she threatened to kick Joe Jonas’ new girlfriend’s ass in front of like 30 people in the airport. Did I mention this was after she had already kicked her backup dancer’s ass in front of like 30 people in the airport? Awk-waaard! People Magazine says:

“When tour management found out [that she had been partying the night before], they talked to Demi,” says the source. “Demi reacted badly and perceived that someone on tour had told on her.”

When Lovato and other tour members were on an airplane that same day, Lovato confronted the young dancer, whom she thought [was] to blame for telling on her. “There was a short, physical altercation,” says the source, adding that it was “one-sided.”

And of the whoopin’ she threatened to give Ashley Greene, E! Online says:

Demi also made verbal threats to Joe’s new squeeze, Ashley Greene, who was at the airport as well and witnessed her meltdown. A second eyewitness also corroborated the confrontation between Lovato and Greene.

According to a someone close to the Lovato family, the airport altercation was the “catalyst” to Lovato deciding to “take responsibility” for her actions.

To be fair, I rarely go to the airport without getting into some kind of altercation. Post 9/11, you can’t do anything in the Delta hub without somebody with an M-16 dragging you away by your zip-tie handcuffs and tazing you until you shit your pants. Also, there’s a bar every fifteen feet. If they didn’t want you to drink, they shouldn’t have put so many of them in one place.

Sweaty Ashley Green in spandex:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

“Sonny with a Chance” star Demi Lovato is the latest Disney whore-in-the-making to find herself in rehab. Loyal readers will remember I called this two years ago, the first time she was photographed with a bunch of cut marks on her wrists, and then again last year, when she was busted cutting a second time, probably because of the twenty extra pounds she was carrying in her face. So am I psychotic? Do I have ESPN? All signs point to yes! Star Magazine says:

“Demi Lovato left her [Camp Rock: The Final Jam tour with the Jonas Brothers] early this weekend in order to seek medical treatment for emotional and physical issues she has dealt with for some time,” her rep said in a statement. “Demi has decided to take personal responsibility for her actions and seek help. She is doing just that. Demi and her family ask that the media please respect their privacy during this difficult time. She regrets not being able to finish her tour, but is looking forward to getting back to work in the near future.”

While it remains unclear what the emotional and physical issues are, the [the 18-year old] Disney darling has showed signs of cutting.

Also complicating matters, Demi is currently on tour with her ex-boyfriend Joe Jonas. They had previously been best friends before Joe dumped Demi.

As if that isn’t enough drama, one report states Demi recently got into a physical altercation with a female on tour with her.

She also was bullied in school as a child, struggled with eating disorders her entire life, and was deemed “the ugly one” in the new Disney Brat Pack by mean-spirited gossip bloggers. That’s just cruel. If anybody’s ugly in that group, it’s that one Jonas brother. And that one horse-faced chick with the weird chin. Oh… right. Never mind.

At the 2010 American Music Awards press conference two weeks ago:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

In news that barely even qualifies as news, former “Friends” star David Schwimmer got engaged to girlfriend Zoe Buckman over the weekend. Zzzzz Us Magazine zzzz…

The actor, 43, and his photographer girlfriend of three years, 24, reportedly met in London while Schwimmer was in town directing the 2007 comedy Run Fatboy Run.

It is the first marriage for Buckman and Schwimmer, who rose to fame as paleontologist Ross Gellar, the boyfriend of Jennifer Aniston’s character on the 90s NBC sitcom Friends.

If you haven’t already blown your brains out from sheer boredom, then keep reading: Disney’s “Sonny With a Chance” star Demi Lovato confirmed she is dating Joe Jonas in an interview with Access Hollywood on Friday. Squeal! Us Magazine says

Having long denied rumors of a romance with her Camp Rock costar, Lovato finally opened up, calling Jonas, 20, her “best friend.”

“So you guys went from boyfriend-girlfriend to best friends?” Billy Bush asked.

“No, kind of the opposite,” Lovato said.

“Oh? So you’re dating him now?” the host asked.

“Umm, yeah he is my best friend and he is incredible,” the singer/actress.

I am sure there are a bunch of thirty-something women weeping bitterly into their chocolate iced donuts this morning because Ross is marrying someone other than Rachel; and conversely, I’m sure there are a lot of middle-aged gay men weeping tears of joy, because there’s still a good chance they’ll get to bareback Joe Jonas now that he has his Disney-sanctioned beard. It’s kinda like “A Tale of Two Cities” — the best of times, the worst of times — but set modern time L.A. instead of late eighteenth century London and Paris. Also, no one gets beheaded. Sorry about that.

Joe and Demi on their way to church this weekend; Ross with his new fiancee at the “Madagascar 2″ premiere a year ago:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin Online, Pacific Coast News

_{PHOTO CREDIT: Star Magazine}

Less than a year after the pictures of Disney star Demi Lovato with a bunch of cut marks on her wrist made the rounds on the interwebs, new photos of the 16-year-old leaving MTV studios in New York with an wrist full of slashes have surfaced. Star Magazine says

Disney darling Demi Lovato is showing disturbing new signs of cutting — there now appear to be at least five nasty-looking slashes, where previously there were only a few.

“Demi has been really stressed out about her new show, Sonny with a Chance,” a source tells Star. “She’s not getting enough downtime because there is so much work involved, and she’s always being pulled in different directions. Cutting is how she can let go of the stress that has built up inside — when she cuts herself, it’s a way to cope.”

Statistics indicate that for every cut mark on a chick, you’re chances of getting anal increase 36%. By my calculations, “Backdoor Bandits” just found its new headliner.

It looks like Trace Cyrus, Miley Cyrus’ unfortunate-looking brother, got thrown in the inbred end of the gene pool, but apparently that does it for some girls, like saccharine sweet Disney trick-turner Demi Lovato. NineMSN claims the two are a couple:

Miley Cyrus’s rocker brother Trace certainly does have a weakness for his sister’s Disney pals. First he declared his love for Vanessa Hudgens, claiming he was way hotter than her squeaky clean boyfriend Zac Efron, and now he’s fallen for Disney darling Demi Lovato… and she’s fallen for him!

The unlikely couple have made it all public via some flirty messages on Twitter.

“@ddlovato you don’t realize how excited I am! My tour manger is bookin my flight now! Your all I’ve thought about ever since I left town. <3″ Trace wrote to Demi.

To which Demi responded: “@tracecyrus soon! I’m so excited!!!! <3″
And just to make things super-official, this morning Miley Cyrus Twittered her blessing for the new couple! “I miss @tracecyrus he is the best big brudder ever!!! I reallllyyyy realllyy miss @ddlovato! These 2 are the best! Couldn’t live without em!”

Well now, doesn’t that just make you want to barf rainbows? No, seriously. I was eating Fruity Pebbles when I read that twatriffic piece of drivel and it all came back up. I think Trace’s soft pink nipples are going to haunt my dreams.

With his band Metro Station at TRL MTV in Milan, Italy.

Demi Lovato (who is totally a cutter) just refuses to quit it with these goddamn ridiculous sunglasses.  I thought I was pretty clear the last time we talked about these neon plastic pieces of shit, but apparently I was gravely mistaken, because Miss Lovato has seriously stepped up her aggressive game of retro fug with whitewashed, ripped-at-the-knees skinny jeans and a lace vest.  Where the hell does she shop for clothes?  1989?  I can only hope Miss Lovato is fucking with us, because there are only two other options.  Option A is that she’s just returned from an excellent adventure with Bill & Ted, and Option B is that she’s gone full retard.

Everybody knows you never go full retard:

Demi Lovato, fucking with us in her costume as a Def Leppard groupie: