Actress Eva Longoria is still denying that she’s pregnant, claiming her recent weight gain is just for her role on Desperate Housewives. *cough cough* LIAR! *cough* Her rep released the following statement to OK! Magazine:

“For the upcoming season [Eva's character] Gabrielle has “gained” weight and cut her hair. She is now a worn-out mother with two kids. Eva has enjoyed a more relaxed environment and will even be wearing butt pads and stomach pads.

If she’s going to be wearing butt pads and stomach pads, what exactly is the point of gaining the weight in the first place? It’d be like wearing a condom to jerk off or watching an episode of “The Hills” with the volume turned on. Serves no point whatsoever.

This promo shot was just released to promote the fourth season of Desperate Housewives, and boy do these ladies ever look amazing! And when I say “amazing” — naturally I mean they rate somewhere between Betty Boop and Jessica Rabbit on the scale of Authentic Looking Women You’d See in Real Life.

It’s times like these, I wish for the sake of humanity that Photoshop was programmed with a “self destruct” feature built in. Whichever copy was used to create this monstrosity probably had to be destroyed after it started smoking and flashing “fatal error” messages.

After the jump, a cold shower of reality with Teri Hatcher and Felicity Huffman at the Badgley Mischka party earlier this week.

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