The much bally-hooed “Desperate For Ratings Housewives” lesbian kiss between Teri Hatcher and Eva Longoria aired last night, and it was every bit as un-erotic l as I’d said it’d be. The only thing drier than that kiss right there is maybe your 401K or your grandmother’s puss. I find it’s best not to think about either of those things too much.
Since ratings are down on ABC’s abysmally boring “Desperate Housewives,” what better way to spark the interest of the coveted 18-34 year-old demographic than a same-sex kiss between Susan (Teri Hatcher) and Gabrielle (Eva Longoria-Parker) ? Us Weekly says
Teri Hatcher kissed a girl — and she liked it.
“I did not kiss [Eva Longoria-Parker]. She kissed me,” Hatcher told Us. “We had fun.”
Oh, it sounds fun, alright. If by “fun” you mean “like watching two scraggly old hens try to peck each other’s eyes out in a barnyard fight.” No thanks.
At the lauchy of the Extra Douchey Juicy Season 2 DVD Edition:
Actress Eva Longoria is still denying that she’s pregnant, claiming her recent weight gain is just for her role on Desperate Housewives. *cough cough* LIAR! *cough* Her rep released the following statement to OK! Magazine:
“For the upcoming season [Eva's character] Gabrielle has “gained” weight and cut her hair. She is now a worn-out mother with two kids. Eva has enjoyed a more relaxed environment and will even be wearing butt pads and stomach pads.
If she’s going to be wearing butt pads and stomach pads, what exactly is the point of gaining the weight in the first place? It’d be like wearing a condom to jerk off or watching an episode of “The Hills” with the volume turned on. Serves no point whatsoever.
This promo shot was just released to promote the fourth season of Desperate Housewives, and boy do these ladies ever look amazing! And when I say “amazing” — naturally I mean they rate somewhere between Betty Boop and Jessica Rabbit on the scale of Authentic Looking Women You’d See in Real Life.
It’s times like these, I wish for the sake of humanity that Photoshop was programmed with a “self destruct” feature built in. Whichever copy was used to create this monstrosity probably had to be destroyed after it started smoking and flashing “fatal error” messages.
After the jump, a cold shower of reality with Teri Hatcher and Felicity Huffman at the Badgley Mischka party earlier this week.
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