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Good Cleavage vs Bad Cleavage

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It is universally known that are two types of cleavage: good cleavage (Linsey Godfrey, right) and bad cleavage (Kendra Wilkinson, left). So how can you determine if your cleavage is GOOD cleavage like Linsey’s, or BAD cleavage like Kendra’s? Easy. There are ten simple ways to tell.

TOP TEN RULES FOR DETERMINING WHETHER YOUR CLEAVAGE IS BAD

10. If your cleavage looks like it should be measured in pounds per square inch, it’s BAD.

9. If it hurts to look at your cleavage, it’s bad.

8. If your cleavage is attached to Heidi Montag, Christina Aguilera, Tori Spelling or Tara Reid, it’s BAD.

7. If aereola is visible, your cleavage is BAD.

6. If you can touch your chin to your chest without looking down, your cleavage it’s BAD.

5. If someone mistakes you for Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife at a water park, your cleavage is BAD.

4. If you’re on the cover of National Geographic, your cleavage is BAD.

3. If you can measure your cleavage with a protractor, it’s BAD.

2. If I can see clear down to your bellybutton when you reach for the bread basket, your cleavage is BAD.

1. If you can and DO keep your cell phone and keys in it, your cleavage is BAD.

Check out some GOOD ways to sport cleavage in the gallery above!

Candice Swanepoel Goes Platinum and Other News

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Candice Swanepoel Platinum Blond

Taking a page from fellow Victoria’s Secret model Karlie Kloss’ book, Candice Swanepoel impulsively dyed her hair (before pic on the right) two hours before arriving to the amfAR Inspiration Gala in New York Thursday night. The Daily Mail says:

The 24-year-old Victoria’s Secret mode revealed she changed up her look at the last minute because she fancied a change. “I wanted to do something different… something spur of the moment,” she told E! News, [adding], “Blondes do have more fun!”

Too much of a good thing is never good. You have to know your limits, whether it’s nacho cheese or peroxide.

In other news…

Jennifer Lopez makes her assistant sleep in the bed with her. That’s not weird at all. (Celebitchy)

Why doesn’t this surprise me — Robert Downey, Jr made a kid cry. (The Blemish)

Tennessee Circuit Judge Royce Taylor sent out a memo that instructed female attorneys to “cover up their elbows” in his courtroom. Really. (Jezebel)

Miley Cyrus calls out her dad on Twitter for not getting about to the divorce. (Celeb Slam)

The ten superhero movies that failed to deliver, including such favorites as Green Lantern and Judge Dredd. (Mandatory)

Charlie Sheen absolutely rips Farrah Abraham a new one. You KNOW you’re a real piece of work when Charlie Sheen is the one calling you out. (DS)

Wind causes Reese Witherspoon an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction. (Hollywood Rag)

Sonia Kashuk’s top beauty tricks for women over forty. (Fab Over 40)

If you only buy one piece of lingerie-inspired clothing this year, make it this camisole. It works with everything. (Modavanti)

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