Paula Abdul dressed up as her American Idol replacement Ellen Degeneres on last night’s Vh1 Divas Live, and it’s almost impossible to pinpoint the most shameful part of the performance, because there’s just so fucking many. Right out the door, at the 13 second mark, she emphatically lipsyncs words that aren’t there. Then there’s the 55 second mark, when she totally airballs an audience high-five. Not even close. But the worse part has to be the 1:25 mark, when she wraps up the dancing, plops down in the chair and says, “What are you all looking at? Can’t a girl try out a new job?”… and nobody laughs. Not for like five seconds. Then there’s some confused woo-ing and a smattering of applause, like they’re not sure what to do. Then she wraps that up with the 1:37 air-punch and the “hand telephone.” It’s like the television equivalent of hemorrhoid surgery. It’s that fucking painful to watch.

Bonus: Jennifer Aniston serenading the real Ellen on her show yesterday: