Archives

News

Miranda Kerr Orlando Bloom Split

After three years of marriage, Orlando Bloom and Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr are calling it quits. Us Magazine says:

“In a joint statement, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr have announced that they have been amicably separated for the past few months. After six years together, they have recently decided to formalize their separation.

Despite this being the end of their marriage, they love, support, and respect each other as both parents of their son and as family.”

Was it “love” or “support” that prompted Miranda to sleep with Leonardo DiCaprio and Justin Bieber (EDITOR’S NOTE: Justin Bieber?!) while they were still married? Because it certainly wasn’t “respect.” I just hope for Orlando’s sake that Bieber Fever isn’t a bloodborne pathogen.

Web finds, fails and fun:

The years have been kind to Eddie Vedder. (Celebitchy)

Because scarf season is already upon us! (Modavanti)

I didn’t know it was possible to make Johnny Depp look so un-hot. (Socialite Life)

The new Christian Grey has been cast, and it’s somebody I’ve never heard of. Fifty shades of who cares. (Bitten & Bound)

A bunch of gifs of animals stealing food, because it’s Friday and I heart naughty animals. (Mandatory)

Remember what I said about setting the bar low before? Here you go. (Huffington Post)

Gwen Stefani knows better; Britney Spears does NOT. Therein lies the rub. (Evil Beet)

Brad Pitt smells like a sheepdog and refuses to use soap or deodorant. (ICYDK)

Read More

News

Los Angeles Premiere of 'The Guilt Trip'

After eight years of domestic disputes and drunk and disorderly charges, Diane Lane and Josh Brolin have decided to call it quits. According to Us Magazine:

“Diane Lane and Josh Brolin have decided to end their marriage,” reps for the couple [said in a statement]. The couple, who married in August 2004, parted ways a few months ago. They have no children together.

“It was a mutual decision. It is very amicable,” a source [revealed]. “It’s not ugly, it’s just over.”

Good for her. Josh Brolin is a narcissistic pig and she’s better off without him. And according to the bumper sticker I saw in the carpool line this morning, 2013 is the Year of the Cougar, baby!

In other news…

Ten reasons why every man should be more like Bill Murray. (Mandatory)

Julianne Hough’s ribcage better be plastered with double-sided tape, or I see a wardrobe malfunction in her future. (Huffington Post)

Mila Kunis is named the new face of Gemfields’ jewelery. (Daily Stab)

Now you know what Katherine Heigl will look like in 25 years. (Hollywood Rag)

Rihanna continues flaunting her dysfunctional relationship all over the interwebs. (Hollywood PQ)

Conan O’Brien gets an eyelash makeover from Snooki and JWoww. (Seriously? OMG)

Shia LeBeouf leaves the stage over “creative differences,” which is just theater speak for “he’s a giant douche.” (popbytes)

Read More

News

After more than a decade of marriage, actress Ashley Judd and race car driver Dario Franchitti are going their separate ways. They told People magazine in a statement:

“We have mutually decided to end our marriage. We’ll always be family and continue to cherish our relationship based on the special love, integrity, and respect we have always enjoyed.”

First Ashley gained a bunch of weight, and now her marriage is over. I can’t wait to see what Wynonna has in store for her third wish!

In other news…

Cat GIFS: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. (Mandatory)

Lindsay Lohan forgot to self-tan the bottom half, because vodka makes remembering hard. (The Stir)

Step-by-step instructions and list of products needed to re-create Julie Bowen’s SAG Awards makeup. Notice nobody mentioned re-creating the dress. (Fab Over 40)

Jessica Hart is a perfect example of wabi-sabi. (Daily Stab)

Read More

In the wake of filing for divorce from husband of 34 years Joe Simpson after it was revealed he’d engaged in multiple gay affairs, Jessica Simpson’s mother Tina has found a man of her own. A friend of mine named Jose Cuervo. Radar Online says:

The Simpson matriarch… [has] turned to hard liquor, and insiders report that her self-medicating with booze has her daughters so concerned that they are now urging her to seek treatment.

“Tina is hitting the bottle to ease her sorrows over her marital problems, she’s built up quite a tolerance and has switched from wine to stuff like scotch and vodka,” a source tells Star. “Jess is just a mess over this, she feels helpless and doesn’t know what to do.”

The people at E! True Hollywood Story must be shitting themselves over this. Daddy’s a closeted gay minister, mommy’s a drunk, the younger sister is a failure forced to live the older sister’s shadow, and the older sister has emotional eating issues and another bastard child on the way. It reads something straight out “Corazón Prohibido” on the Mexican channel.

Jessica’s wearing a Roberto Cavalli animal print sweater dress (click here and here for more Cavalli animal print dresses, or here for a silk version from Dolce & Gabbana).

A p

Jessica Simpson’s mother Tina filed for divorce from her husband of thirty-four years Joe Simpson last month, but nobody knew the reason for the split until now: it’s because he likes the wiener. Dun dun DUN! Radar Online says:

And not only has a family source [revealed] that 54-year-old Joe came out of the closet, the source says the former youth pastor and Baptist minister has a 20-some­thing boy toy!

The stunning confession was the real reason wife Tina filed for divorce from Joe in late September.

“Joe got the family together about two months ago and came out of the closet,” an insider divulged. “He told them that he’d tried to continue in his marriage to Tina, but he couldn’t go on any longer and deny the fact that he had these feelings for men.”

Meanwhile, Joe has been spiraling out of control for some time. He was busted for drunk driving in Sher­man Oaks, Calif., on August 4.

“The police report stated that there was someone else in the car with Joe,” said a source close to the Simpson family. “Some reports have stated it was Tina, but now the belief is that it may well have been a boyfriend.”

And what do you wanna bet the 20-something boy toy is none other than his own daughter Ashlee’s ex-husband, Pete Wentz? Dun dun DUN! Vh1 has to give them a reality show now!

You can do white lace if you keep the Dee Snider hair to a minimum.

Find us on Google Plus