Hey guys, it’s Sonya today filling in while Abby spends the day trying to fill in the blanks in her memory from this past weekend. Alcohol amnesia can be such a bitch! Hey, speaking about alcohol and bitches, Lindsay Lohan is bound and determined to get back to making great movies again. Wow, that was weird putting Lindsay Lohan and great movies in the same sentence. Says Popeater,

Lindsay Lohan is determined to return to the top of the Hollywood A-list.

In an interview with Vanity Fair conducted prior to her incarceration, Lohan tells the magazine that she’s willing to do whatever it takes.

“I want my career back. I want the respect that I had when I was doing great movies. And if that takes not going out to a club at night, then so be it. It’s not fun anyway.”

“I don’t care what anyone says. I know that I’m a damn good actress. … And I know that in my past I was young and irresponsible — but that’s what growing up is. You learn from your mistakes,” she says.

The actress also defends herself against rumors that she is an alcoholic. “If I were the alcoholic everyone says I am, then putting a [SCRAM] bracelet on would have ended me up in detox, in the emergency room, because I would have had to come down from all the things that people say I’m taking and my father says I’m taking — so that says something, because I was fine,” she explains.

“I’ve never abused prescription drugs. I never have — never in my life. I have no desire to. That’s not who I am. I’ve admitted to the things that I’ve done — to, you know, dabbling in certain things and trying things ’cause I was young and curious and thought it was like, OK, ’cause other people were doing it and other people put it in front of me. And I see what happened in my life because of it.”

Shit, I must be hallucinating, because for some reason I thought that they put SCRAM bracelets on because you have a problem with alcohol. And I’m so relieved to know that she never abused prescription drugs and has no desire to, because illegal drugs are the way to go. You don’t have to bother with trying to find a doctor who will give you a fake prescription. That shit is tiresome. Also, excuse me, but did she just fast forward like, 10 years or something? I know she has the face of a 30-something, but I seem to remember her getting in trouble for her drug/alcohol shenanigans pretty damn recently. She makes it sound like she was “dabbling”, as she calls it, when she was filming The Parent Trap, for pete’s sake.

Yes, this is what she wore to court on Monday:

Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett of Playboy’s “Girls Next Door” fame has announced that she is retiring from the illustrious world of soft-core porn. But don’t be too sad, boys — I’m sure some other wigger with implants and a high school equivalency will come along soon to fill that void in your pants heart. Kendra told Radar Online

“No, I think my Playboy days are done. I’m a mother now. Of course I’m not going to quit my whole life but my Playboy days are done. Time to move on and be a mom, that’s my focus!”

Well, this may surprise you, but it seems that a girl who made a career out of getting naked for money may not have had the most emotionally stable childhood. Just sit down and take deep breaths if you’re feeling light-headed from the shock of this stunning revelation. Us Magazine says

In her new E! True Hollywood Story, [Kendra], now, 24, says that she was “about 13″ when she had her first experience with cocaine.

By the time Kendra was 15, she was abusing drugs and cutting [herself]. After [a failed suicide attempt], her mother decided to check her in for two weeks at a secured psychiatric facility.

By her sophomore year of high school, she was a runaway. “I was still on drugs,” she says. “I met a guy and I ended up running away with him. All throughout sophomore year I lived with this guy and I did drugs for that long. Every day, every minute.”

Kendra’s shocking True Hollywood Story premieres on E! Wednesday at 10 p.m. EST.

Wow. I’m still kinda reeling here. It’s almost like… like I don’t know what’s real anymore. One thing’s for sure, though — I’m going to have to huff a lot more VCR head cleaner for any of this to start making sense. The Jim Beam just isn’t doing the trick this morning.

Kendra at the premiere of “The Bounty Hunter” last night:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News