Actress Kristin Chenoweth collapsed Sunday night at the Emmy Awards shortly after winning Outstanding Supporting Actress for her role in “Pushing Daisies.” Page Six says
Chenoweth suffered a crippling migraine and had to lie down in the Lipton Lounge backstage after collecting her award. A source said, “People rushed to help Kristin, but once the paramedics had arrived, she said she was embarrassed.” Her rep says Chenoweth is “feeling better.”
I was all prepared to say her “migraine” was really the result of puking up every other meal and constant coke binges (what is she, 90 pounds?), but it turns out Kristin has a well-documented case of Ménière’s disease, an inner-ear disorder which can cause vertigo, nausea and crippling headaches. Everyone knows that legitimate medical conditions are not very interesting, and if there’s one thing my brief stint writing for the New York Times taught me, it’s that lying is awesome. And also that Republicans are the devil. Therefore, “Kristin Chenoweth is an anorexic meth addict on the verge of complete self-destruction, possibly voted for George Bush!” And you can quote me on that.
Tori Spelling has repeatedly denied that she suffers from an eating disorder, but it’s pretty apparent from these pictures that she’s a full-blown anorexic. For Chrissakes, look at her arms. Gross. I’ve seen starving horses pulled out of makeshift barns on “Animal Precinct” that didn’t look that disgusting.
Making love to Lindsay Lohan must be like trying to fuck a damn dogwood sapling. All spindly and limbs snapping off and bowing beneath your weight and poking you in the ribs every time you change positions. But you can’t use a dogwood’s spine to grate cheese or its hip bones to julienne potatoes and make some wicked good cheese fries, can you? Advantage: Lindsay Lohan.
Shopping with her Mom and sister Ali in SoHo over the weekend:
Britney Spears is all smiles and exposed midriff on the cover of December 11th issue of Rolling Stone, in which she divulges some choice tidbits about her delightful and well-adjusted toddlers. Us Weekly quotes her as saying
“They’re staring to learn words like ’stupid,’ and [3-year old Sean] Preston says the F-word now sometimes,” Spears reveals. “He doesn’t get it from us,” the singer stresses. “He must get it from his daddy [Kevin Federline]. I say it, but not around my kids.”
That’s probably true, not because she’s vigilant about clean language around her children, but because she’s probably only seen them a total of eighty-four hours in the last year and a half. Not a lot of time to imprint vocabulary on the impressionable, as things like that go. One thing you won’t be reading about in Britney’s Rolling Stone interview, however — her ongoing battle with bulimia. Star Magazine says
A source [says] Brit’s diet consists mostly of “Taco Bell and turkey jerky washed down with Red Bull. She throws up after meals, both at home and at restaurants, and she isn’t very discreet about it.”
The pop star is also “taking diet pills. She has to go to the bathroom constantly. It just runs right through her. And everyone knows she still throws up when she’s eaten too much. You can smell it in the bathroom.”
A crazy woman who reeks of puke living with her father and saddled with two little brats. The only way that line could be more unappealing to men everywhere is if the words could somehow leap off the screen and kick them in the testicles. See, there’s “lowering the bar,” and then there’s “using the bar to ass-fuck yourself in front of a mirror while sobbing uncontrollably.” I’ll let you decide which heading “dating Britney Spears” falls under.
