LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian reportedly wed on Friday in an intimate ceremony in Malibu. It’s just like a fairytale! That is, if one of the Ugly Stepsisters ran off with Cinderella’s Prince Charming. Says Us Magazine,

Rimes, 28, and Cibrian, 37, married at sunset under a tree. (The two met in 2008 on the set of their Lifetime movie Northern Lights. At the time, both were married to other people. Us Weekly broke the news of their ongoing extramarital affair in March 2009.)

Following their “I do’s,” the couple and their guests partied on at the reception. Rimes thanked her mom and friends “for being so supportive and always being there for [her.]”

At 11:09 p.m., Cibrian and Rimes cut their three-tier wedding cake while the oldies song ‘I’ve Got You, Babe’ played.

At 11:11 p.m., Cibrian made a toast. “Someone loves the f****** microphone and that’s me! We’ve both had much larger weddings before, about 100-150 people both, but we just wanted our closest of friends and family here with us tonight. The next one will be ever smaller though,” he joked. “We’ll just keep parring it down!” The crowd laughed had cheered, and Cibrian finished his toast, saying, “Seriously, you guys are here because you guys mean a lot to us.”

Rimes echoed Cibrian’s sentiments and told her guests, “I love you all.” She added: “Now let’s have some cake, bitches!”

After hitting the dance floor, the newlyweds left in an SUV at 12:52 a.m.

On Saturday, Rimes wrote on her Twitter page: “Eddie and I are overwhelmed by the amount of lovely well wishes. We are blessed and…. I’m Mrs. Cibrian!!! So wonderful to wake up as husband and wife. Love to all of you.”

Personally, I think “philanderer and harlot” have a much more musical ring than boring old “husband and wife”. That’s what I decided to go with anyway, when I got all my linens embroidered.

Rachel Bilson in a bikini with Hayden Christensen, because I’d take one bikini-clad Rachel over a dozen nude LeAnns:

Photo source: Fame Pictures

Instead of shutting up about her whole messy cheating/divorce debacle, LeAnn Rimes continues to seek attention by explaining why she’s a husband-stealing tramp. Us Magazine says,

It’s been over two years since Us Weekly first broke news of LeAnn Rimes’ extramarital affair with Eddie Cibrian — eighty-sixing both of their marriages — and the country singer, 28, isn’t afraid to own up to her mistakes.

“I know I didn’t do it the right way,” Rimes says of falling for her Northern Lights costar in “Backstory: LeAnn Rimes,” a new special airing Sunday on the Great American Country channel.

“I didn’t have the tools to know how to do it the right way, how to let go the right way. I’d never been taught that,” she says of cheating on then-husband Dean Sheremet with Cibrian, who was then wed to Brandi Glanville, mother to his two sons. (She and Cibrian, 37, are now engaged; Sheremet is also engaged to girlfriend Sarah Silver.)

“I have the strength [now] but I didn’t at the time… So, it got really messy, but I have learned a lot from that. And I’m not glad it happened, but I know why it did.”

She adds: “[Country music] has such a double standard. You know, Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash and all these guys. God knows what they did back in the day? And if a woman did it, you never were accepted or forgiven. But if it was a guy, it was just their life… It’s quite interesting to have to navigate those waters as a woman in this business.”

God I hate that touchy-feely crap about not having the “tools” to know how to end your marriage. It’s called “taking a backhoe to your husband’s Harley that he loves waaaay more than you”. If your husband isn’t demanding a divorce after you do that, then I don’t know what would.

Looking like a Pekingese in need of a grooming:

Now that  LeAnn Rimes is newly engaged to Eddie Cibrian just this past Christmas, the rumors are flying that she’s also knocked up. She’s of course denying it. Says Digital Spy,

LeAnn Rimes has denied rumors that she is pregnant with fiancé Eddie Cibrian.

Rimes – who recently announced her engagement to the actor – took to Twitter to shoot down a story originally reported by Hollybaby which said that the singer was expecting her first child.

Rimes wrote: “this is such BS!!!! Lol, you people all report BS (sic).”

The 28-year-old appeared to reinforce her denial by posting details of her indulgent holiday plans shortly after. She added: “Cabo!!!!! Sun, bikinis, friends, food, tequila…celebration!!!! Gonna be the best trip!!”

So it’s just like that time when there were rumors that you were cheating, but you got all huffy and offended and you denied it, and then it turned out to be true and you’re just a pug-nosed liar-dog? Yeah. I thought so.

Walking in Calabasas:

In news that nobody’s sure to care about, former 98 Degrees member Nick Lachey and his longtime girlfriend are getting married. You can almost hear Jessica Simpson’s muffled sobs through the mouthfuls of biscuits and gravy. Radar Online says:

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo, who briefly split last summer, are now engaged!

“We’re excited and incredibly happy about our engagement and we look forward to a wonderful future together,” the couple [said in a statement].

And in news you’ll care even less about, that one squinty-eyed country singer who cheated on her gay husband is marrying that guy she fucked while he was still married to somebody else. Vive l’amour! Radar Online adds:

Boyfriend Eddie Cibrian will now call [LeAnn Rimes] his fiancée.

Cibrian got down on bended knee recently, E! Online is reporting.

Their engagement news comes shortly after Rimes did an interview with ABC’s Robin Roberts to discuss the cheating scandal surrounding involving her ex-husband Dean Sheremet and current beau Cibrian.

Why would you buy the cow when you already get the milk for free? Especially if somebody else had already bought the cow first and it wouldn’t give them any milk, but practically hosed down the next thing with a penis that came within twenty feet of the big fake udders they’d bought and paid for while they owned it. I’d say the only reason to invest in that cow is for the choice cuts and shoe leather.

Zzzzzzz:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

LeAnn Rimes is unattractive and hasn’t had a hit in nearly ten years, so I understand why people were angry about Shape magazine’s decision to put her on their October cover. But oddly enough, her squinty eyes and lack of breasts weren’t the source of the readership’s outrage — it was her home-wrecking whoring ways. And Shape, for one, agrees they made a mistake. Us Magazine says:

Shape editor-in-chief Valerie Latona apologized to readers who felt that Rimes was a poor cover choice.

“Shape has made a terrible mistake in putting LeAnn Rimes on the cover,” Latona explained. “Please know that our putting her on the cover was not meant to put a husband-stealer on a pedestal-but to show how we all are human. And this woman in particular found strength in exercise in what she said was her most difficult personal moment.”

[But] Latona acknowledges that “it did not come across that way… and for that I’m terribly sorry. I hope that we can do better the next time for those of you that will give us another chance.”

Being called “terrible mistake” isn’t really that insulting. I mean, whose mother hasn’t called them a “terrible mistake” on more than one occasion? Or hit them with a curling iron? Or locked them in a broom closet and forgot they were there until the school called to ask where I had been for the last four days? Sticks and stones, Shape magazine. Words can never hurt me!

Eddie Cibrian’s wife Brandi Glanville has left him after discovering he had been meeting with former mistress LeAnn Rimes on the sly at a friend’s house. According to Us Magazine

“Eddie and I have decided to take some time apart,” says Glanville, 36. “I want to do what is best for our children [Mason, 6, and Jake, 2]. Eddie and LeAnn [Rimes] deserve each other.”

The final straw came after Cibrian and Rimes, 26, were caught again together in the early afternoon of July 17 — four months after the news of their affair [first broke] — outside the Malibu home of Jeff Berger, a longtime friend of the singer. (News of Cibrian having another affair — with 24-year-old model Scheana Marie Jancan — also broke earlier this same month.)

Sources tell us that Rimes’ pal Berger has been facilitating similar meetings at his home for about a month and that Rimes and Cibrian also made use of a rental house on L.A.’s west side.

How do you expect a man to say no to a rack like LeAnn’s? At least not without looking down or sideways, anyway? The trajectory of those nipples would make it damn near impossible. I doubt he even had a choice in the matter.

LeAnn in L.A.: