43-year-old Elizabeth Hurley worked some seriously masochistic-looking cleavage at an event at the Tower of London yesterday. You can almost see the carotid artery in her neck bulging from the all pressure. I’ll give her props, though — it’s a damn impressive bust line. I think the only time my tits ever even came close to looking like that, there was a straight-jacket involved. And also a couple of orderlies and a syringe full of Chlorpromazine and a cop with a taser and a K-9 unit. But I doubt that’s the secret behind Elizabeth Hurley’s cleavage. She probably just has a red carpet stylist or something.

Certified MILF Elizabeth Hurley reprised her role as spokesmodel for cosmetic giant Estee Lauder yesterday at the Pink Ribbon Signing in London. You know, it takes genuine talent to make breast cancer awareness look that sexy. Ad execs should consider implementing Liz in commercials for hemorrhoid creams or nail fungus treatments or something. I know I’d be all about some Tuck’s Medicated Wipes if hers was the face staring up at me off the box. Granted, I’d probably be all over the wipes anyway because of the constant burning and itching associated with my anal fissures, but it would still be better with her face on the box. That’s all I’m saying.

More pics of Liz at the signing after the jump.

(more…)

Liz: Forget Madonna and Demi Moore. I’m the queen of all MILFs.

More pics after the jump.

(more…)

Girls give a lot of money to plastic surgeons to try to look like Elizabeth Hurley and guys give a lot of money to date superficial girls that look like her. That’s the cycle of life.

More pics after the jump.

(more…)