Nov 19, 2009

Well, look who’s on the cover of next month’s Elle magazine! It’s Carrie Bradshaw, patron saint of wannabe fashionistas everywhere. I guess being perceived as a clotheshorse has really paid off for Sarah Jessica Parker. God knows it has to be better than just being perceived as a regular horse like before. Zing!
In Equistrian Monthly Bridle & Bit the December issue of Elle:





Sep 10, 2009

I’m sure you’ve asked yourself hundreds of times, “What can I do to get Pamela Anderson’s sparkling peaches and cream complexion?” Well, contracting Hepatitis C is a good start, but it takes more than just a viral disease to get that kind of glow. She tells next month’s Elle Magazine
“What does it take to look like me? Not much. I don’t wear sunscreen. I don’t have a skincare program. I have no dermatologist and no cosmetic surgeon. Nothing’s been shot into this face.”
Nothing except six or seven pints of spooge, of course. But don’t push yourself — it took her forty years to achieve that kind of seminal volume. Just keep on sucking random dick, hit the tanning bed four or five times a day, drink tequila straight out of the bottle and practice juggling with dirty needles, and eventually, your skin will look like hers. I promise!
More of that gorgeous visage:





PHOTO SOURCE: Splash News
May 28, 2009

Britney Spears might have cleaned up her act, but don’t expect her to wipe or wear a tampon anytime soon. According to Page Six
The pop tart took time off from her “Circus” tour to do an Elle magazine shoot, our spy says, and it was a disaster. “They dressed her in all these beautiful couture clothes — and, well, let’s just say she forgot what time of the month it was. It wasn’t pretty.”
God, this bitch is disgusting. I bet it’d take a goddamn potato peeler to get her stank off your genitals.
Rihanna in Kanye West’s new video because she won’t make you think about uterine sloughing:










Mar 3, 2009

Jennifer Aniston says she is tired of playing the proverbial girl-next-door role — she’s set her sights on being cast as a Bond girl. She told Elle magazine
“I get offered funny, quirky, pretty roles. I’d love to do an action movie. James Bond. Glamour. Daniel Craig. Shitloads of fun.”
Hey, you know who else did a really great action/adventure movie? Brad and Angelina in “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.” Maybe they could offer her a role in the sequel.
Jennifer promoting “Marley and Me” in London with Owen Wilson:








