Elton John is a first-time  father at the age of 62, which means that when the kid’s 18, Sir John will be a tottering 80-year-old and most likely dead before he gets to see any grandchildren. But congratulations, man! I’ve never been one to rain on anyone’s parade! Says MSNBC:

Sir Elton John is holding close a new tiny dancer.
The piano man and husband David Furnish have become parents to a 7-pound, 15-ounce baby boy born on Christmas Day. The news was first reported Monday night by USMagazine.com and confirmed to The Associated Press by John’s Los Angeles-based publicist.
Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John was born in California via a surrogate, whose identity is being protected by the new parents.
Zachary is 62-year-old John’s first child with the 48-year-old Furnish. The couple married in 2005.
In a joint statement, the new parents told USMagazine.com that “Zachary is healthy and doing well” and they are “overwhelmed with happiness and joy at this very special moment.”

The cool part about little Zachary having two daddies is that he’ll never have to hear an argument of how Daddy wasn’t very supportive of Mom during the labor and instead spent the time cavorting with Kandi the stripper at Kittens Gentlemen’s Club. Don’t even get me started on that.

Hi guys, it’s Sarah today.  There’s really nothing going on except for more of the same crap about Jon & Kate and Miss Homophobic California, and I would imagine you guys are at least as sick and tired of those people and their boring bullshit as I am.  So let’s take a minute to talk about Victoria Beckham and wtf she was wearing to fly into Heathrow, shall we?

God, I love how crazy Posh is.  I love how she looks like an orange android and dresses like she’s from a 1992 music video set 180 years in the future.  Normal people wear pajamas on airplanes, or maybe some yoga pants if they’re feeling fancy.  Posh?  Yeah, she’s dressed like what would happen if Elton John designed a militaristic Barbie doll for some kind of “support the troops” charity and then some Weird Science shit happened and it came to life.  Only angrier.  I love it all.  Also, I suspect at least one of her boys is folded up and packed neatly away in that ginormous bag.  I mean c’mon, Cruz would fit in there for sure, at least.

The only thing I’m not loving right now is how skinny she’s looking.  She’s always been wee because everybody knows she only believes in, like, Diet Coke and salad… but she’s starting to look a little rickety, especially around the wrists and collarbone.  Eat a sandwich, Posh.  Hell, even a Lean Cuisine.  Eat something.  You can’t waste away and leave me without the sparkle of your insanity to brighten my days, you heartless monster!

Arriving in London: