Lindsay Lohan’s brief foray into couture is over as quickly as it began — she has been fired as the artistic director of fashion house Emanuel Ungaro. According to Women’s Wear Daily

Lohan was not at the Ungaro show Monday morning, leaving chief designer Estrella Archs to take a solo bow.

“She’s not involved in this collection,” Ungaro owner Asim Abdullah told WWD backstage before the fall show, declining further comment.

Later in the day, Lohan turned up in Kenzo’s front row. Asked why she hadn’t been at Ungaro, she replied: “Because I don’t work for them anymore.” Prompted for more specifics, she noted, “There’s legal things going on; I can’t really discuss it.”

I didn’t realize being a talentless, clueless dirty whore was actually a legal issue nowadays. Good to know. You might want to see about getting your mom an attorney on retainer then, just to be safe.

UPDATE: Watch the E-Trade commercial for which Lindsay is suing for $100 million in compensatory damages after the jump. Not making this up.

In Paris for Fashion Week:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin Online

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Remember when Lindsay Lohan announced that 6126, her line of leggings, would be expanded into a full collection?  And then remember when she promised LOHAN MAYHEM!!!!!!! for 2010?  Obviously, this was all headed straight for Disasterville, and the trainwreck arrived right on time.

From Us Magazine:

Sounds like Lindsay Lohan‘s New Year has gotten off on the wrong foot.

While celebrating 2010 on the island of St. Barth’s, the 23 year-old star discovered that she was ripped off by her longtime best friend and sidekick Patrick “Pootie” Aufdenkamp.

A friend close to Lohan tells UsMagazine.com, “Patrick stole Lindsay’s sketches for her new 6126 clothing line.” WWD reported Dec. 30 that Lohan’s 6126 leggings line would be expanded to become a full clothing collection for fall 2010; her role as artistic advisor for fashion house Emanuel Ungaro, despite a rocky start, is also ongoing.

Lohan tells UsMagazine.com that Aufdenkamp has been her “best friend” since she was 16. He has frequently been photographed with the actress, and was present at many meetings related to her new fashion line.

“He is now running off trying to do his own line,” a Lohan pal says incredulously, “And telling people he’s going to fashion market week in NYC on February 18 to debut his line.”

Adds the Lohan source, “It’s horrible. He was her best friend. He has always used her, and she’s been warned to never trust him. Lindsay is a good friend and likes to see the good in people. She didn’t want to believe how bad Patrick’s energy was, and how false his friendship has always been with her.”

Lohan herself spoke to UsMagazine.com exclusively about the sad incident. “I should’ve known better,” she said, noting that the friendship with “Pootie” has ended. “But new year for me and a new beginning! Health, happiness, success and love!”

A rep for Aufdenkamp could not be reached for comment.

If Lindsay expected anything better than this from a dude named Pootie then she’s even dumber than I gave her credit for.  But hey, on the plus side, this is super great news for fans of nipple pasties, saggy tank tops, ugly hats, and leggings with built-in kneepads and condom dispensers.  Y’all might just be treated to TWO designer collections this year!  I know it’s always been a dream of mine to own a pair of shredded, probably acid-wash jeans with a bedazzled “Pootie” on the pocket that cost as much as a car payment.  It’s like Christmas came twice!

If you’re wondering just what the holy hell a “Pootie” looks like, here’s your terrifying answer:

Remember when Lindsay Lohan designed a collection for Ungaro, and it was pretty much the tackiest thing ever and ended up a colossal failure?  Well, apparently not everyone remembers, because someone is inexplicably letting LiLo expand her ridiculous 6126 line of leggings into a full collection for fall 2010.  From People:

Yesterday Lindsay took to Twitter to reveal that she would be expanding the collection beyond hosiery, saying, “i need MORE followers i am so sad about this, how can i tell everyone about my 6126 full collection COMING OUT! all clothing.” This morning, WWD confirms that the expanded collection will launch for fall 2010 and feature 100 pieces that range from $18 leggings to a $300 leather jacket. The following spring the line will grow even further, to encompass 150 items, including handbags, shoes, jewelry and cosmetics.

Wow, this is a great idea.  I’d actually be hard pressed to think of a better idea than to let an emaciated, homeless-looking space case make ugly rags for which I am expected to pay good money.  I noticed there are no plans for lingerie, though.  I guess Lindsay Lohan doesn’t believe in other people wearing knickers, either.  Maybe on the runway, the models will walk figure-eights around metal barrels full of burning bras.  Saggy tits are the wave of the future, yo.

Lindsay Lohan’s pairing with French design house Emanuel Ungaro didn’t go over so well with the critics at Fashion Week, but not to worry — it drew rave reviews from meth-addicted exotic dancers with bastard children. The Daily Mail says

The collection prompted only lukewarm applause when Lohan and [new head designer Estrella] Archs came out onto the catwalk after the show.

Fashion critics looked aghast at Lohan’s bra tops and stripper-inspired nipple pasties.

The thigh-skimming dresses in peach, hot pink and white [and] the sparkling nipple pasties flashing from underneath loose blazers were a reminder of Lohan’s own occasional wardrobe mishaps.

‘It’s not good to show your nipples so they should be covered,’ Lohan [said], referring to the heart-shaped pasties.

Lindsay Lohan thinks it’s “not good to show your nipples?” Am I taking crazy pills? What about this? Or this? Or this, this and this? It’s almost impossible to find a picture of Lindsay Lohan where she’s not showing her nipples. You know what they say — people who live in glass houses shouldn’t call the kettle black. Frankly, that’s just being racist.

Pics of her at the show, plus bonus video of her rapidly aging before your very eyes thanks to the magic of cigarettes and purging after the jump:

PHOTO CREDIT: Bauer-Griffin Online

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