Ever wondered what Hermione Granger’s nipples would look like? Well, (NSFW) Boobicus Appearicus! A former boyfriend of Emma Watson claims to have taken the photo, but you can do a lot with PhotoShop these days, and I can’t vouch for its authenticity. But as Professor Dumbledore once said, “Boobies are boobies.” Erectus Weeniosa!

UPDATE: So it’s definitely a fake.

Because those bastard English are never happy unless they’re showing everyone else up, they also had an awards show last night.  It was the BAFTAs, and it was chock full of more interesting people in better clothes than the stupid losers at the Grammys.  Yay for red carpet round-ups (holy shit, I cannot wait for awards season to be over)!

Kate Winslet won yet another award, once again looked hot as hell doing it:

Brad’s still got that dumbass mustache, but Angelina didn’t wear a shapeless sack this time.  Her dress actually fit her and even had a sliver of colour!

Robert Downey, Jr. looked fantastic, and he was being so sweetly adorable with his wife that I think I got Diabetes just from looking at them:

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Harry Potter star Emma Watson will be replacing Keira Knightley as the new face of Chanel’s Coco Mademoiselle fragrance. According to Now Magazine

The 18-year-old actress has signed a rumored [$6 million], 2-year deal to be the face of the Chanel perfume.

When I was eighteen, I had an ‘82 Peugot that broke down often enough for me to keep a ten-speed mounted to the trunk and a collection of limited edition Holiday Barbies still in their original boxes. Emma Watson is eighteen, and she has liquid assets totaling somewhere in the neighborhood of $15 million. But the real question is, does she have the spirited sense of adventure and the devil-may-care whimsy of my youth? Because there are some things that money just can’t buy. I’m kidding, of course. For $15 million, you could probably poop “spirited sense of adventure” and buy your own salvation. I’m pretty sure God takes American Express Black when the devil’s not looking.

In Parade magazine:

Attention all dorks, geeks, and/or virgins living in their mothers’ basements: Harry and Hermione might be dating! Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson spent Valentine’s Day in each other’s arms at The Imperial Arms in West London. Page Six quotes a source as saying:

“They arrived quite late at the pub and sat outside, using each other’s bodies for warmth. Throughout the night, he just kept giggling like a love-struck teen. They seemed totally absorbed in one another’s company… until just before closing time. They then left the pub, heads together and whispering, and headed in the direction of Daniel’s home nearby.”

Boy, that Hermione sure gets around. I thought she was supposed to be Ron’s Weasley’s girl. It’s only a matter of time before video of her tag-teaming Hagrid and a couple of randy centaurs in the Forbidden Forest hits the Wizarding Wireless Network and Warner Brothers drops her like a bad habit.

Emma: When I grow up, I want to snort lines and get wasted like Lindsay Lohan.
Her friends: We love you, Firecrotch!

Emma: Stop staring at my pink tights or I’ll shoot! I’m not legal, you perverts!
The Asian Girl: Back off or I shit on your face!

I won’t say anything bad about this picture of Emma Watson, aka Hermione in the Harry Potter movies, drinking a beer in front of the camera. Because when I was 15-year-old, I spent more time in rehab than in school because I was already drinking like a pirate. And I’m proud of it. I’d like to point out that it’s not because she’s drinking that she’s legal. So you perverts better back off and sing this song.