Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is finding himself in hot water after allegedly reneging on a deal with a clothing company. And no, it wasn’t a deal that he wouldn’t wear their clothing. I know, weird, right? Digital Spy says,

The Jersey Shore star and his brother received a $25,000 (£16,000) payment from Serious Pimp to promote their line of T-shirts on the MTV show and a variety of social media outlets, but failed to continue working with the brand.
TMZ reports that Serious Pimp launched the legal challenge in an effort to recoup the figure and obtain compensation from Sorrentino for lost profits.

Sorrentino and his brother were also given the opportunity to approve deigns for the garments, but “simply disappeared” with the money, according to the website.

Gee, you hand a sleazy greaseball wop a wad of cash and you’re surprised when he doesn’t hold up his end of the deal? I say you’re lucky if that’s all that happens. Normally I’d expect him to knock all the females in your family while he’s at it.

Emmy Rossum at the Showtime TCA party:

David O. Russell, the Oscar-nominated director of The Fighter is in hot water after allegedly groping his 19 year-old transgendered niece’s boobs. TMZ reports,

The Broward County Sheriff’s Dept. has confirmed … Russell has been accused of inappropriately grabbing his niece’s breasts during a workout session at a South Florida hotel gym on Dec. 30.

According to the police report taken 3 days after the incident, Russell’s niece … who was born a man and is currently in the preoperative phase of her transition … told cops the two had been doing abdominal exercises when he asked questions about her transformation.

The niece — who does NOT have a blood relation to Russell — told cops they began to talk about her breasts … and how certain hormones she’s taking have made them larger.

According to the report, the niece claims Russell then “put his hands under [her] top and felt both breasts.”

Cops say the woman said she felt “uncomfortable” … but admitted she “did not ask him to stop at any time.”

Investigators later contacted Russell … and according to the report, the director confirmed he DID touch his niece’s breasts … but only after she gave him permission.

Cops say Russell explained that during the conversation about her chest, the niece informed him that one of her breasts was bigger than the other. The official report says … Russell told cops his niece then “allowed [him] to feel both of [her] breasts.”

According to the report, Russell told cops his niece asked him to “pinky swear” that he would never tell anyone about the incident.

In the report, cops say Russell insisted he repeatedly asked his niece if she was ever uncomfortable during the incident… and claims she gave consent.

In the police report, one of the investigators notes, “Russell stated [his niece] is always causing drama since the transgender transformation and has become very provocative and seductive.”

A spokesperson for Russell tells us, “David O. Russell emphatically denies any wrongdoing and has cooperated fully with the authorities.”

A man starts taking female hormones and turns into a slutty drama queen with lopsided boobs? Sounds like she’s looking for some funding for a boob job. Welcome to the ranks of money-digging, sexual-harassment-lawsuit-filing women. Well done, sister. Well done.

Emmy Rossum at the premiere of Shameless Season 2:

I’ve never found Emmy Rossum particularly attractive, so I’m always pleasantly surprised to see what a terrific body she has. It’s like lifting up the couch cushion expecting to find a dead rat and finding a ten dollar bill instead.

In the winter issue of Malibu magazine:

The tag on these pictures say they’re from “A Night of Firsts” Golden Globe award season kick off party, which I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean, but I’m going to take it at face value because Emmy Rossum is nipping out. I’ve learned to not ask too many questions when good things fall into my lap, like “Oh that’s where I left that bottle of gin! I wonder how it got in my son’s toy box?” or, “I can’t believe that nice lady in Nigeria is going to give me all that money to do a money transfer for!” Strike while the iron’s hot, I always say. Or, in Ms. Rossum’s case here, while the air is cold.

With Olivia Munn, Fergie, some Asian girl I know I should know, some peewee, and Jeremy Piven (ew):

Emmy Rossum is only moderately attractive on a good day, and by “on a good day” I mean “with her shirt off.” She has those bulgy Billy Joel eyes and this weird underbite thing going on with her smile. Fortunately, she seems to have a pretty good handle on where her true talents lie.

NSFW screen caps from the last episode of Shameless:

Showtime’s new show Shameless, from what I can tell, is basically about a white trash family and their out-of-control shenanigans. What goes better together with “white trash” than “wife beater”? Not much, especially when you stick a braless Emmy Rossum in it. After seeing this screen caps, you might want to set your DVR to record this show. Yowza!

I always thought Emmy Rossum was kinda ugly, but maybe that’s because I hadn’t seen her airbrushed into a young Julia Roberts/Anne Hathaway hybrid and she wasn’t showing me half her aereola. Frankly, that changes everything.

“Shameless” is an award-winning British drama television series that revolves around the day-to-day struggles of the Gallagher family, but now an infinitely better version starring Emmy Rossum and William H. Macy has come across the pond to Showtime. What makes it better, you ask? Well, the American version delves deeper into the working class consciousness and offers more insight into the self-destructive tendencies of the proletarian alcoholic. No, I’m totally kidding. Emmy Rossum shows her tits in it. Where did you think I was going with this?

Mostly NSFW:

Update! Warner Bros asked us to remove the pics. Sorry!

And now for some news nobody cares about: actress Emmy Rossum and Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst are getting divorced. But not from each other. That would be too interesting. Us Weekly says

Two months after it was discovered that Emmy Rossum had been secretly married, her husband is filing for divorce.

Justin Siegel, a music producer… is seeking spousal support and requests that Rossum pay all divorce costs.

Us Weekly continues:

Three months after Fred Durst wed girlfriend Esther Nazarov in Las Vegas, the newlyweds have decided to split.

“For those of you inquiring I will confirm that Esther and I have decided to go our separate ways and we both thank you for your support,” the Limp Bizkit frontman, 39, Twittered on Monday. “Thank you all SO much for your concern and extremely kind words. Sincerely. We remain very positive and wish only the best for each other.”

Well, there’s five minutes of your life you’ll never get back. If it’s any consolation, it still lasted longer than Fred Durst’s marriage.

I always thought Emmy Rossum kinda looked like an albatross until I saw these pictures of her in next month’s issue of Details magazine. Boy, was I wrong. She looks nothing like a bird. She looks like she could be Eva Mendes’ slutty little sister or something. So, because I am humble enough to admit my mistakes, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to Ms. Rossum for my avian comparison of late, and ask that she please allow me to extend my open invitation to wear her ass like a surgeon’s mask. It’s the least I could do, considering the circumstances.

PHOTO CREDIT: Matthias Vriens for DETAILS