Damn skippy she is. Holy shit. Kate Beckinsale makes that idiot Megan Fox look like a fucking amateur. And she’s four years away from being 40! I’d say 36 is the new 69! Get it? 69? God, I hate myself.
I couldn’t put my finger on where I’d seen this girl before. God knows it wasn’t from 90210, because I’d rather douche with fire ants than watch that shit. No, I recognized Jessica Stroup from her role as the Dentyne Ice girl from the commercial a few years back. And also from “The Hills Have Eyes 2: Mutant Attacks.” It’s a classic!
Incredibly disturbing Jessica Stroup “thinspiration” video after the jump
Megan Fox tells Esquire magazine that she doesn’t want to be anything like Scarlett Johansson, but not because Scarlett Johansson’s fat and has a pig face like you’d assume. Megan said
“I don’t want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson — who I have nothing against — but I don’t want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I’ve ever learned to prove, like, ‘Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.’ I don’t want… to do that.”
She’s absolutely right, you know. Women don’t have to use big words to prove their intellectual worth. That’s why they have boobs. Case closed!
In next month’s Esquire:
Walking around Hollywood licking her lips for no apparent reason;
A lingerie-clad Megan Fox lounges between the bedsheets and later “nibbles seductively on a chicken drumstick” (their words, not mine) in a new video for the latest movie edition of the notoriously faggy Esquire magazine. The Daily Mail says
Photographer Greg Williams shot the hottest actress with a hi-tech Red One camera, which meant he could grab stills of her at the end.
He recorded ten minutes of loosely scripted footage - getting out of bed, rolling around on a pool chair, lighting a barbecue.
‘It allowed her to act,’ Williams says. `She could run scenes without being reminded by the sound of a shutter every four seconds that I was taking a picture.’
Williams was then left with ten minutes of footage which he turned into a mini-film called ‘Good Morning, Megan Fox.’
It takes a special kind of photographer to make footage of a scantily-clad Megan Fox boring, but this Williams guy not only does it — he manages to make it look effortless in the process. Not since “Showgirls” has so much T&A been so carelessly and thoughtlessly wasted. It’s enough to make you sick.
UPDATE: Now with hot screen cap action!
The Bible in its infinite wisdom says that love covers a multitude of sins. Fortunately for Katy Perry, so do boobs. You can thank the Devil for that one.
in April issue of Esquire:
Six months after giving birth and at the age of 42, actress Halle Berry has been named Esquire magazine’s sexiest woman alive. NY Daily News says
At 42, [Halle] feels hotter than ever. [She says in the November issue of the mag] “I know damned well I am sexier now than I used to be. Sexiness is a state of mind. You know the stuff they say about a woman being responsible for her own orgasms? That’s all true. And in my case, that makes me responsible for pretty damned good orgasms these days.”
Well, good for Halle Berry. Good for all the new Hollywood mothers out there in the magical fantasy land of nannies and personal trainers and on-staff chefs and Hydromassage. For the rest of us, becoming a new mom isn’t a exactly a time of sexual rebirth and discovery. In fact, I’m pretty sure the only thing that could make your libido dry up quicker than having a newborn is maybe packing your vagina full of salt and then burying it in lime.
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