It came from the Frederick’s of Hollywood’s formal wear section, and it showed Eva Longoria no mercy. It looks just like this pink lace doily I would use as an ornamental rug in my Barbie Doll Dream House whenever I wanted to designate that room “the ballroom.” Because pink and lace are fancy, you see. My seven-year-old self would think this was the prettiest dress she’d ever seen.
WHY THIS DOESN’T WORK:
1. The color. Hot pink is just not a good color for lace. I’m sure under the right circumstances and with perfect tailoring and just as an accent, you could make hot pink lace work, but 99.99% of the time, it’s an outfit death sentence. Those aren’t odds aren’t in your favor.
2. Sheer overkill (closeup of the dress here). With the sheer/cutout trend, the trick is finding just the right balance between what you expose and what you don’t. Too much flesh just looks cheap.
3. Ruffles. You can do ruffles and lace, but less is generally more. Lace has enough texture on its own — it doesn’t need the added volume of ruffles. It’s too much frippery.
Weblessings upon thee:
Scarlett Johansson reveals her SAT score! (Huffington Post)
These hornets will be the last thing you see before you die. You could track those suckers on radar. (Gawker)
Katy Perry says she thought about killing herself in the wake of her divorce from Russell Brand. Funny, I would have thought being married to him would make you want to kill yourself. (Celebitchy)
The Game of Thrones Sesame Street band! (Hollywood Rag)
Thanks to the skillful hand of a surgeon, Cher still looks exactly like Cher twenty years ago, and you can see her in Montreal in April! (Hollywood PQ)
The funniest grandpa fail videos, because really, is there anything funnier than old people falling down? (Mandatory)
Rachel Leigh Cook gave birth to a baby girl! (Evil Beet)
Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus did a song together on Miley’s new album “Bangerz.” They should’ve called it “Trainreqz.” (popbytes)
This yellow shoulder bag is a great way to work the citrus trend into your wardrobe. It’s virtually mistake-proof. (Modavanti)
Stephen Colbert explains how Walter White and the government shutdown are more alike than you think. (Pajiba)
See what everyone is wearing on the front row at Paris Fashion Week! (Jezebel)
Kristen Wiig says no to Bridesmaids 2, shaming the boys of The Hangover. (Daily Stab)