Eva Longoria pink lace dress

It came from the Frederick’s of Hollywood’s formal wear section, and it showed Eva Longoria no mercy. It looks just like this pink lace doily I would use as an ornamental rug in my Barbie Doll Dream House whenever I wanted to designate that room “the ballroom.” Because pink and lace are fancy, you see. My seven-year-old self would think this was the prettiest dress she’d ever seen.


1. The color. Hot pink is just not a good color for lace. I’m sure under the right circumstances and with perfect tailoring and just as an accent, you could make hot pink lace work, but 99.99% of the time, it’s an outfit death sentence. Those aren’t odds aren’t in your favor.

2. Sheer overkill (closeup of the dress here). With the sheer/cutout trend, the trick is finding just the right balance between what you expose and what you don’t. Too much flesh just looks cheap.

3. Ruffles. You can do ruffles and lace, but less is generally more. Lace has enough texture on its own — it doesn’t need the added volume of ruffles. It’s too much frippery.

Weblessings upon thee:

Scarlett Johansson reveals her SAT score! (Huffington Post)

These hornets will be the last thing you see before you die. You could track those suckers on radar. (Gawker)

Katy Perry says she thought about killing herself in the wake of her divorce from Russell Brand. Funny, I would have thought being married to him would make you want to kill yourself. (Celebitchy)

The Game of Thrones Sesame Street band! (Hollywood Rag)

Thanks to the skillful hand of a surgeon, Cher still looks exactly like Cher twenty years ago, and you can see her in Montreal in April! (Hollywood PQ)

The funniest grandpa fail videos, because really, is there anything funnier than old people falling down? (Mandatory)

Rachel Leigh Cook gave birth to a baby girl! (Evil Beet)

Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus did a song together on Miley’s new album “Bangerz.” They should’ve called it “Trainreqz.” (popbytes)

This yellow shoulder bag is a great way to work the citrus trend into your wardrobe. It’s virtually mistake-proof. (Modavanti)

Stephen Colbert explains how Walter White and the government shutdown are more alike than you think. (Pajiba)

See what everyone is wearing on the front row at Paris Fashion Week! (Jezebel)

Kristen Wiig says no to Bridesmaids 2, shaming the boys of The Hangover. (Daily Stab)

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The problem with sideswept hair is that you have to tilt your head forward (exhibit A) and slightly down (exhibit B) in order to turn your head without disrupting the sidesweptedness (real word) of the hair. That’s not the most flattering stance. It’s the same head tilt walkers take right before they stick out their arms and assume zombie form.

Eva’s Longoria’s look at the Hollywood Foreign Press Association luncheon + some pretty good imitation Eva’s look on a budget in the gallery above; style savvy + web finds below:

Kim Kardashian throws an all-out tantrum over Katie Couric’s baby gift. (Celebitchy)

This wallet is so chunky and cool that you could carry it as a clutch. (Modavanti)

Lily Collins’ slashed white dress is just edgy enough. (The Fashion Spot)

Snooki and JWoww wear cowboy hats and engage in various fish-out-of-water antics somewhere in the South on an episode of a show I’ll never see. The end. (Socialite Life)

John Mellencamp’s teen sons charged with felony battery! (Bitten & Bound)

Being a rum snob opens up a whole new world of pretentiousness to closet alcoholics. (Mandatory)

Number one way having a toddler is like being in prison: you’re always terrified something bad will happen when you’re in the shower. (Huffington Post)

BBC interviewer Chris Stark is a real live Christopher Guest character. (Jezebel)

Scotland Yard is re-examining Princess Diana’s death. Again. (Evil Beet)

“Jobs: A movie about a Titan starring a tit” may be the most apt tagline I’ve ever read. (Pajiba)

A look at this year’s coveted 2014 Pirelli calendar. (Who What Wear)

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Good news — the Great Foundation Drought of 2012 is over! Turns out was just Eva Longoria.


  1. Nars Sheer Glow Foundation enhances without masking and improves skin brightness, radiance, and texture. ($44)
  2. Stila Illuminating Foundation has a silky semi-matte finish that evens out flaws while letting your skin’s natural luminescence shine through. ($38)
  3. Guerlain Parure De Lumière Light-Diffusing Foundation is enriched with a marine spring water and multireflective Prisma Light Pigments that diffuse light at 360° for instant radiance. ($59)
  4. Koh Gen Do Maifanshi Moisture Foundation contains 60% water and 10% mineral pigments encapsulated in a highly filtered botanical oil of 30%, a golden ratio that keeps the skin positively dewy. ($62)

I think this might be the best Eva Longoria’s ever looked. The color, the fit, the of-the-moment sheer panels — her dress is fantastic. AND it would look great at a St. Patty’s Day parade. It’s just too bad she’s wearing it at a cat food launch. That’s only slightly less lame than wearing it at a Boggle tournament or a neck brace convention.

Eva Longoria at the Sheba Cat Food “Feed Your Passion” Campaign Launch in NY last night + lots more ways you can get in on the sheer paneled action in the gallery above.


Eva Longoria wore a hideous Cushnie et Ochat cutout dress and Fran Fine’s signature face at the Grand Opening of SHe by Morton’s in Las Vegas Sunday night. I think the look on the lady’s face behind her says it all. Sharp points and side boob only work if you’re a Mortal Kombat villainess.

In other news…

Keira Knightly looks as skeletal as ever on the cover of Marie Claire. (Daily Stab)

Kelly Brook: the anti-Keira Knightly. (Moe Jackson)

Miley Cyrus’ outfit is even stupider than usual, and that’s saying something. (I’m Not Obsessed)

“Game of Thrones” star Wilko Johnson has terminal cancer. (Huffington Post)

The top ten TV shows you should be binge-watching this weekend! (Mandatory)

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