Eva Mendes’ new Calvin Klein ad for his latest fragrance “Secret Obsession” has been banned by U.S. networks for its “racy content” (re: nipples). The NY Daily News says
The “We Own the Night” star caresses herself, rolls around in a rumpled bed and - oops! - flashes a nipple in the 30-second TV spot for Secret Obsession. “Between love and madness lies obsession,” Mendes whispers huskily. “Love … madness. It’s my secret.”
The ban “is not entirely a surprise for the U.S. market,” [said the] president of Calvin Klein, Inc. “We believe the commercial is exceptional. [The attention surrounding the ad] just reinforces our belief in the campaign, in true Calvin Klein fashion, sparks controversy.”
And it reinforces my belief that if something is spectacularly average and clichéd in every way possible, just toss some nipples in the mix and it’s magically avant-garde! Unless you’re applying for financial assistance or a bank loan, in which case nipples are more of a public indecency charge and nuisance. The more you know!
Fashion designer Calvin Klein has chosen DIY abortion championEva Mendes to be the new face — well, new ass, technically — of their 2008 underwear ad campaign. OK! Magazine says
The advertisements, which will debut in the fall, will focus on “seductive comfort.” She will also be the face of a-yet-unnamed Calvin Klein fragrance.
Sorry, but in what kind of bizarro world do the words “seductive” and “comfort” go together? Comfort = flannel with butt flap; seductive = underwire and g-string burn. It’s a simple mathematic principle known as inversely proportionality. If one of the variables is directly proportional to the multiplicative inverse of the other, or if their product is a constant, it means that as the absolute value of one variable gets bigger (seductiveness), the absolute value of the other gets smaller (comfort). Or as Dr. Love says, “the longer it takes to put it on and the more it pinches, pulls, chafes and/or itches, the sexier it actually is.” Did I mention Dr. Love is in my pants? She’s really the authority on all things boudoir.
Page Six posted the following scandalous blind item this morning:
Which actress went into rehab only after she suffered a miscarriage? She was on a four-day cocaine bender when she lost the baby she didn’t even know she was carrying.
And then I happened across these pictures of freshly-rehabbed actress Eva Mendes leaving a Beverly Hills medical center on Monday and put two and two together. “Put two and two together,” of course being journalism speak for “wildly speculating without authenticating.” As seen on the Fox News channel!
