Randy Quaid and his wife are once again in trouble with the law — this time for felony burglary after they set up shop in a home they once owned fifteen years ago. Operative words being “once owned.” As in, “not anymore.” The Daily Mail says:

The property owner called Santa Barbara County sheriff’s deputies yesterday afternoon to report that squatters had been staying in the guest house illegally.

When deputies arrived, they found Randy and Evi Quaid, who said they had owned the property since the Nineties.

The property owner provided documents that showed [he] had bought the home in 2007 from a man who had purchased it from the Quaids years earlier.

Police arrested the Quaids on charges of felony residential burglary and entering a non-commercial building without consent.

Police also charged Evi Quaid, 47, with resisting arrest.

And it seems Captain Insano and company did some serious damage to place while they were at it. According to TMZ:

The gate codes had been changed, security cameras had all been moved to face up, and Randy had carved his initials in the mailbox.

[There] were dirty dishes in the sink, footprints everywhere and clothes that didn’t belong to the owner hanging in the closet.

They [also] broke a $7,000 mirror that had been over the fireplace and replaced it with a photo of themselves.

That new owner might have his “legal paperwork” and his “tax records,” but those aren’t his initials carved out there on his mailbox. They’re Randy’s. And whether it’s actually his home or not, it’s been my experience that people don’t even want their stuff back once you’ve hacked your name into it. Or swabbed it with your own feces, for that matter. It’s called marking your territory and tigers do it all the time! Sure cuts down on closing costs and agent fees.

Randy Quaid and wife Evi showed up at criminal court in Santa Barbara about two weeks too late yesterday for a hearing regarding charges they defrauded San Ysidro Ranch out of $10,000. According to People Magazine

“The judge said they showed disrespect by prior failures to appear and by flashing Randy’s Golden Globe award in court the last time around,” [the] Santa Barbara District Attorney said, referring to the couple bringing Randy’s best-actor trophy for the 1988 miniseries LBJ: The Early Years to a hearing.

The Quaids posted bail of $100,000 each and left the jail facility in the afternoon after three hours in custody.

Only a fucking actor would bring in a goddamn trophy he got from work and think it’d get him out of felony fraud charges. Hey, I got a blue ribbon in the sack race on Field Day in third grade once, does that mean I don’t have to submit to a sobriety test? Here’s my “Most Valuable Player” certificate from Wal-Mart that entitles me to a free kid’s meal at Luby’s, so my arrest is null and void, right? Plus this coffee mug and matching mousepad say “World’s Foxiest Grandpa,” right there in black and white! You can’t argue with personalized ceramics and low-density rubber composites. The defense rests, your honor!

Actor Randy Quaid and his wife Evi were arrested yesterday in Texas on burglary, defrauding an innkeeper and conspiracy charges after they failed to pay the San Ysidro Ranch in Santa Barbara the thousands of dollars they owed after an extended stay. This isn’t the first time the pair has been accused of the dine-and-dash approach to swanky hotels, either — TMZ says they also stiffed Bel Air Hotel in L.A., among other places. Presidio County Sheriff’s deputies said

Randy assaulted [the police] both physically and verbally and resisted arrest, but [we] will not file charges. The Sheriff’s office is in touch with officials in Santa Barbara County, who want Randy and Evi extradited.

When asked for a statement, Randy said, “Well, I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn’t you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn’t big enough. Well, I didn’t want to ask you, you know, but could you maybe spare a little extra cash?” Clark W. Griswold was reportedly unavailable for comment.

UPDATE: After Randy and Evi posted bail, the two sent a copy of a cashier’s check supposedly made out to the San Ysidro Ranch along with a handwritten statement claiming their innocence to TMZ (see that paper here).

Fug mug shots: